Cogito Ergo Sum

Continued chit chat...

2011-10-27T16:07:00.003+05:30

Ah.. Not possible to sustain writing about what I cooked everyday. Also, it will be quite boring to read it, as we keep repeating.
However, last Sunday (16th oct), I cooked pumpkin halwa (mentioned previously) and the taste I cant forget even now.
Wanna cook gulab jamoon soon.
Cooking can involve a lot of discoveries and inventions..
My father in law taught me how to make curd.
- When boiling milk, I should keep it in the minimum possible flame, in the smallest burner possible.
- Half ltr heritage takes more than 20 mins this way (measured by me for my stove) and Nandini a little lesser.
- Let it boil slowly as much as possible, switch off, let it cool on its own
- When it is not very cold, may be lukewarm, put one drop on curd to it.
- Dont let it shake, close the vessel with a lid and keep it for a day.
I even remove the cream as much as possible and store it in freezer; in case I wanna prepare sweets, I can use it. If I remove cream, I feel the curd is more tasty, as it does not have the odor of milk.
Curd prepared this way is really tasty and good looking..(want a photo? let me try to post one)

Oct 17th, 18th

2011-10-18T12:03:00.002+05:30

17th Dinner
Bhindi huli, chapati

18th
Whole moong dal usli (breakfast)
Tur /Masoor dal with hirekai (lunch), Rice.

Music lesson and cooking updates

2011-10-17T14:01:00.010+05:30

I've decided to put a brief log everyday on what I cook/eat and what I learn at music class..

Music class:

Oct 15th Saturday 11:30 am: Learning Sri Varalakshmi - Sreeraga, Roopaka tala, Dikshitar kriti. Also recalling Shankarabharana varna, Saami ninne

Cooking:

- Oct 15th, 16th: Dal makhani (Masoor dal), Rava dosa, Rajma hot and sour soup, Rajma masala chaawal, Tomato Rasam, Vangi Baath (this one by my mom in law) and Pumpkin halwa (Yummy!)

- Oct 17th : Dosa with batter prepared from Rice, Urad dal, split moong, pumpkin juice/crux. Should see what to cook in the evening.

I wont put any recipes, until I feel I have found something new. This shouldnt be yet another blog for cooking, there are already too many.

Cheers

Aparna

Changes in the Recent Past

2011-10-07T15:25:00.002+05:30

In the past 18 months, there have been a lot of changes in my life.

New Job in April 2010, changing domain from Communications to Image Processing
Getting married.
Shifting homes 3 times in less than 6 months starting May 2010
Getting financially literate, and doing some actions between November 2010 and now
Developing culinary skills, starting at none in October 2010. Focusing on fitness.

I think 5 events in less than 18 months period is huge for anyone to handle. I too struggled through them. Yet, I feel it is good that all these happened in such a high speed. Now I am kind of relaxed. This post is to write about each of them.

New job: I like the work at HP-IPG. Image processing is a good domain to work on, in the long run. One can immediately see what one is doing, unlike in communications where one will be only counting some bit rates, frame rates and will have to wait till project gets over at the system level, to see something happening over a Wireless LAN or a digital TV. Image processing is not too hard to pick up. Also, as HP is a big company, there are a lot of internal conferences which give scope to write and publish papers. Good amount of intra and inter team interactions help to improve productivity.

HP - IPG offers work - life balance. There’s no slogging involved, as my work is exploration type and not deadline intensive. There is family day once a year during May, which gives scope to get involved in cultural activities. There’s a tie up with a few fitness related organizations and hence some activities go on. Within IPG there’s a community connect team for social service. ….

Getting married: Got married in August 2010. I think this is a complete private matter, so less I comment, the better. All I can say is that it is for good and I can see more good coming out.

Changing homes: My office is in whitefield. I shifted home from Rajajinagar to marathhalli in May, to reduce the travel time. Then moved to Banashankari (about 30km from office) in August, and then to a location 10km from office in October 2010. The shifting involved a lot of things like packing and rearranging, and also transferring gas connection etc.

Getting financially literate: I knew there was something about finance I kept on ignoring. I was ok with it until I got married. I had no responsibilities, and I found no need to invest and create wealth. Not even for retirement, as my line of thought was that if I didn’t marry, then my retirement life would be very simple, as a caretaker in an orphanage or residential school. Once I got married, I started dreaming about the future and got a bit more materialistic. By the way I don’t see it as a bad sign. Even in Vedas it is said that you cannot give up something which you never had. Started thinking about getting sufficient life insurance so that my family will not be affected financially, in case I die. It seemed very essential that I save and make money grow such that at one point of time I will be free to retire from software job voluntarily and focus on other high priority things at that time. That is when I came across Jagoinvestor and Subramoney blogs. These two have changed my perspectives on financial planning and, (to some extent ) life in general.

Developing culinary skills: I am afraid I won’t be able to stop if I start writing about this. My mom-in-law, my co-sister and sisters-in- law and even my husband all of them are awesome at cooking that I felt very bad that I didn’t know anything. Thanks to my colleagues especially Veda who suggested a book by Ms. Rujuta Diwekar “Don’t lose your mind, lose your weight”, I broke the barrier between me and the kitchen. It’s not that I never cooked. I used to prepare carrot halwa often and curries very occasionally. Preparing food everyday was a boring job in my view. After reading the book, my way of looking at cooking changed. By following Rujuta’s four principles of eating and working out three hours a week, I’ve reduced 2.5 kgs in 6 weeks! As per the healthometer-a weighing machine we have at home-my body fat percentage has reduced from a big 35% figure to an okayish 31%. The key is not to go on diets, but to eat your food at the right time. More than the fat loss, eating home food all the time has lightened the mood and enhanced the spirits. Not to forget improved quality of sleep. Now I’ve picked her second book, “Women and the weight loss tamasha”, which conveys the message to stop trying for the weight loss and instead understand the body, associated changes and nurture it well.

Apart from these, one other good thing is: last week I rejoined music classes. My Veena teacher expired last year and I have been in no mood to continue Veena lessons with anyone else. Fortunately a musician friend of ours, Mr. Manasa Nayana suggested an excellent teacher for vocal, Sri R.N. Tyagarajan, elder of the rudrapatnam brothers. I am able to practice for at least half an hour daily. To someone like me who has no ambitions to give concert, this is sufficient.

Many of my readers have been asking me whether I’ve forgotten about my blog . I think now they got the answer. Priorities and passions keep changing for all of us; just that I have been getting passionate about other things, and was finding no time to write about them. Besides, as there’s always a friend of my age right next to me with whom I can discuss everything on earth, I am not dependent on this blog to let out my thoughts and feelings. Fair enough right?

Waiting for your comments, hope you haven't stopped checking this out!

Mallahalli falls

2011-09-05T16:33:00.004+05:30

One could hardly find people in Karnataka who haven't heard about Abbi falls near Madikeri. However, I think it's hard to find people who know about Mallahalli falls in the same district.

Trekking is also fun there. This is the path...

Where exactly is the place? Please explore on your own ;)

Long time!

2011-03-31T20:16:00.002+05:30

Yes, I remember my password. It has been really long time since I wrote like the way I used to 3 yrs ago. I used to wonder why many girls go and hide in shell after marriage. I have not got the answer yet ;)

Not having time is not my reason. I have enough time. If I felt like blogging, I would have posted one or two in the last couple of months. I did not feel like writing. Don't know why. I don't know why I felt like writing today. No answers, only questions. But I've reduced asking questions to myself.

Earlier I used to wonder what is the meaning of life. I used to think that probably I would know after my marriage. The reason was that I would get a friend for life with whom I can be open and discuss anything and everything in the galaxy. Luckily I got a life-partner with whom I can share my views and ask questions. What he told me was, life itself has no meaning, we have to define it and make it meaningful. Very simple. I have stopped thinking about the meaning of life. Thinking doesn't seem necessary anymore. This blog's title says "Cogito Ergo Sum" - meaning "I think therefore I am". So, if one ceases to think, one ceases to exist. Is it true really?

Why do we have to believe all the quotes. Rene Descartes said Cogito Ergo Sum, because he believed so. I refuse to believe it now. I believe in believing that belief can do things for us. The first book I read in 2011 was "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne and co. Try it out if you are not averse to the so called "self-help" books category. I hate to call it a self-help book because majority of books under that tag make me get head-ache. This Secret one is different. You need to believe in it to feel the difference.!

It is 8:30pm now. Still at office, came late in the morning. Got to leave for home, see you. Enjoy one more long break from me..

Yours truly

Aparna

Introducing Jagoinvestor

2010-12-17T16:56:00.004+05:30

Recently while looking for good mutual funds to invest, I accidentally came across this wonderful site called Jago Investor. It's being maintained by Manish Chauhan, who is a computer science engineer from Pune, and now totally passionate about on personal finance. He has a team, details of which you can know from him directly. These young, enthusiastic and energetic guys want to revolutionize the way people look at personal finance. We Indians are good at working for money and working for others, but if we give some more attention to manage our own finance, we will have a more satisfying life. It does not need a genius , only a bit of discipline and commitment.

Some of the "must read"s in my opinion, in the order of need:
About Life Insurance
Last moment tax planning
Magic of Systematic Investments
Importance of small savings
Stock Markets: Not too difficult to exploit, if you are sensible
Questions to be asked before you buy a property
Happy Reading. :) If you are just about to finish your studies and start earning, you'll be amazed to know how well you can start handling the sudden inflow of money!

Disclaimer: My views are biased (This is true for anybody's view in general). Please take them with a pinch of salt. Ask questions and learn more, don't accept anything without questioning.

Realization

2010-10-08T16:52:00.002+05:30

When you get married, two things will happen invariably.

1. Number of ways to go wrong in any major decision making will increase .
2. Similarly, number of ways to go right will decrease.

Sound very trivial and obvious, don't they? But if couples were to be aware of these two when they make decisions, then there would be fewer problems on earth!

I was reading "Spouse" by Shobha De a few months ago. I liked the introduction part of it. Very very motivating, gives valid points as to why one should get married, or shouldn't.

But some of the next chapters: I didn't like. Don't ask me why, just read them. Even if I didn't like the book (couldn't complete reading it), I would recommend it to people. People who are just married or about to be married. But do not try to analyze life too much after reading it.

Pico Satellite - The "StudSat"!

2010-07-30T18:23:00.004+05:30

12th July, 9:22AM, Sriharikota!
-10 -9 -8 -7 -6 -5 -4 -3 -2 -1 0 +1 +2 +3 +4...
and there was a mega scale Deepavali in the sky! We all shouted and cheered. Within no time 'it' shot into the clouds and almost disappeared. Very common to hear, but not so common to watch live with bear eyes.
Don't know whether you guessed it, I am talking about the PSLV - C15 rocket.
The view was from Shar Hospital terrace at Sriharikota island. No one is allowed within 5km radius from the launchpad, not even the scientists and technologists, because we need them for next time. 3000 deg centigrade temperature and 180dB sound is not a joke you see. That is what is produced when a satellite launch vehicle is burnt.

What was I doing at Sriharikota? Well, it was not a coincidence.

PSLV carried 5 satellites into the orbit on that day, one of which was a pico-satellite (satellite weighing less than a kg), by name "StudSat" (Stud for Student and Sat for Satellite). I can say, StudSat is first of its kind in India, because the satellite portion was conceptualized, designed and managed by undergraduate students of south India, in particular, seven colleges from Karnataka and Andhrapradesh. One of them happens to be RVCE. Leading institute was NMIT (Nitte Minakshi Institute of Technology), Yelahanka. The 35 member StudSat team had built it from zero, taking minimal support from ISRO. Interesting fact is, none of these are IITs or NITs. It is all the more impressive when you note that a few of the colleges in the 7 college consortium are not even well-known to even people working in the educational field. 4 of the team members are the students whom I taught during Feb 09 to Dec 09.! Hence when they asked me to come along to watch, I gladly joined.

Before anyone assumes anything, let me state that I have clearly done nothing except dropping a few encouraging words here and there occasionally. I remember that initially when I heard about it from the RVCE EC HOD, I did not give it a serious thought. It was a bit difficult to digest that some of my kidlike fourth semester students think that they can make a satellite which will rotate around the earth and send a few pictures and telemetry data.

The satellite resembles a small cube of size (10 cm x 10 cm x 13.5 cm), weighing just about 850 gm having a volume of 1.1 liters. The satellite has been launched in 700 km Sun-synchronous orbit. The satellite was supposed to perform the function of a remote sensing satellite and take images of earth's surface with a resolution of 90 metres, the best achieved by any "PICO" category satellite in the world. The satellite consists of the following subsystems:

* Communication sub-system.
* Power generation and distribution sub-system.
* Attitude Determination and Control sub-system.
* On Board Command and Data Handling.
* Payload (Camera).
* Mechanical Structure.

A Ground Station has been designed in order to communicate with the satellite. The Ground Station NASTRAC (Nitte Amateur Satellite Tracking Centre) which is established in NMIT was inaugurated by Dr K. Radhakrishnan, the current chairman of ISRO. All the above subsystems are designed by students.

The main aim of the project was to give exposure to the students. I think it got served, because I could see a clear difference in the way these students think. At the same time I would also caution them against not getting carried away by their achievement. As far as technical status is concerned, initially it was sending beacons (crudely speaking: beacon means small frames indicating the whether various blocks/software are functional) which were received at ground station. Even telemetry data was received soon within a week of the launch. Best they could hope for was to receive a few images, but that has not happened so far and the latest news is that even the beacons have stopped. In my view, there is no need to focus on the results much. We should encourage the students towards aiming high, in such a case as this, literally aiming to the sky!

I would have loved to write more. But I am slightly tied up for time. I would like to congratulate my students: Punarva, Prithvi, Darshan and Raghu for their dedicated efforts.

Note: If you need any information/want to personally congratulate, you can email them at their gmail IDs respectively: punarva.ieee, prithvirajnarendra, darshanrvec, raghunow

Follow-Up on Jobless Post

2010-04-22T04:58:00.002+05:30

For a while there has been a shift in my priorities and hence I could not update my present "job status". I have been receiving mails of various kinds as response to that post, some expressing their wish to work with me, some expressing consolation etc.

I have not been applying like crazy, and that is why for four months I had to wait, to get a job of the kind I preferred. In between I had worked as a free-lancer. Finally now I am settled in Hewlett-Packard Imaging and Printing Group, Research and Development Hub (IPG R&D Hub) as Systems Software Engineer. Office is near ITPL. Office bus is cool, it takes 65-75 minutes to travel one way.

That's about it folks. Catch you later.

Nerd Tests dot com test results :-)

2010-03-27T12:27:00.002+05:30

Nammoora Nota..

2010-03-07T08:56:00.015+05:30

Hello...

Here are a few pictures most of them taken with my cellphone camera. Last week at this time I was in KREC (NITK) enjoying INCIDENT (The annual inter-college cultural fest) Golden edition. KREC Beach pictures are not yet downloaded from mobile, will upload them some other time..For the time being enjoy these....First five are on the way (through day train) and the last ones are at home.

Jobless Post..

2010-02-22T15:47:00.004+05:30

I know there's no one who's wondering why I am not blogging, because I myself haven't been wondering. As a matter of fact, I forgot about this. There is really nothing much to write about the present. Future is very very uncertain.

I left RVCE ECE dept on December 12th, without having another job in hand, because I found it better to sit at home than to go to the lousy place. I had got just one interview call in these 2 months, but it was like the old cliche, "Operation success, patient died". That company did not take me, even though I passed technical rounds, because it found a more suitable profile. It does not mean anything to me.

I had made a mistake of not resigning on September 29th, 2009. I was hinted to do so by many of my "trusted" friends. It is not your enemies who hurt you the most, but your friends, or whom you assumed to be your friends and continue assuming. It was my mistake to assume those kind of people to be friends: those who have no appreciation for competence, those who are afraid to tell what they think, those who are afraid to be appreciated, those who are afraid to realize that they are capable of thinking, those who are biased, those who think majority is always right, those who lack sense of humor of intellectual type and call them "PJ"s, those who are afraid to have fun at one's own cost, those who are lazy, those who lack confidence, those who hate the confidence in others, those who pass judgment on others, those who admire someone because they are not that, perhaps could never be, those who take life too seriously, those who are good to everyone else but themselves, those who do not even understand the true meaning of being good to oneself, those who find their greatness in helping people with low morals, those who find peace in being forgiven, rather than in being punished for their mistakes! You name it! All of these and more.

If you thought I was talking about my ex-colleagues, you are wrong. I was talking about the students. They crib. They crib for/in spite of anything and everything you give them. Initially they made a big hype of it when I started teaching them. They boasted with other sections, about how great their new teacher was. But after one month of my second semester there, those same people hated me, hated enough to even betray. Don't teach them well: they crib. Try to teach them: they crib. This second part is because a good teacher makes them think and they come to know what kind of trash they are. They want to remain in blissful ignorance. They want to blame the system for what they are. Initially I tried to give them what they needed, but when that did not work out, I gave them what they wanted (to hear). Yes, I gave them exactly what they needed, wanted and deserved: to all categories, without any exceptions, because it depended on them, how they took what I gave them. Not that there were no sensible students, there were, but very very few. Those very few are good, good enough to bring a smile in my face, when I think of them. I don't want to talk about them, because they are too precious.

Newton's third law works so well in real life as well. I too got equal and opposite reactions and I have no regrets whatsoever. Probably this blog is my way of reassuring myself that I've overcome the regrets, by keeping it no secret. No one can make use of this secret (if I had any) emotion anymore. I hate to pity and to be pitied. Can't wallow in self-pity for more than a few months and I think I have done enough of that and do not have to for a few more years. Now I may not have a job, but I am happy. I don't realize how every day passes!!!

Multilingual SMSingoo, E-mail Account Hackingooo

2010-01-06T17:56:00.008+05:30

Don't wonder what's the relation between SMSing and email account hacking. Wait till I finish.

One night in the last week of December '09, I was jobless and smsing one of my jobful friends. He surprised me by typing something in Tulu....and then....then.. nothing happened.

Something happened today actually....

Continuing the game, today morning I smsed him in Samskrita. This 'bahubhaasha pandita', a 'Gadinaada kannadiga', now in Bangalore replied in Konkani. As you know, often I get into kid -mode. I was online on gmail and pinged Sowmya-one Telugu friend-for obvious reasons. I wanted to ask her to translate a few words to Telugu, so that I can puzzle this pandita.

Exchanged hello hi..and then she asked me my phone number since her "contacts have been deleted accidentally". Like a fool (which I am, but five minutes later realized there were bigger fools.), I typed my number. She was talking with 'yaar' suffixed to every sentence and it was quite unusual of her. I couldn't take it anymore and asked,
"Why 'yaar'?", "Simply, just for a change yaar".

OK fine..I thought. Then I asked,
"How do you translate this 'Work well, Sleep well, eat well' to Telugu?". She ignored me.
She asked me whether I watched "3 idiots" movie. That surprised me, because Sowmya never asks such idiotic questions, she knows me too well. She also asked when were we going to meet next! OK, this was confusing. I asked her to translate the phrase for me and she ignored once again. Then I got serious doubts, whether it was Sowmya there. By then I had got a call from an unknown number. (This was the bigger foolish action I mentioned.)

I called up Sowmya and asked her whether she was g-chatting with me and she said,
"No, I've not even accessed it since a few days".
"Oh, OK. Even yesterday you were online. Your account has been hacked. Luckily I have the hacker's number. Go and give a police complaint if you want".
"Thank you so much Aparna, for informing. I am leaving Bangalore tonight and I'll return only after fifteen days. I'll take care immediately."
[I threatened this hacker fellow over chat, that if ever he troubled me using my number I knew what to do.]
I was in no mood to ask her how to say all this in Telugu. Was so shaken by the whole experience (first time you see), didn't message the other friend even in English. Anyway the guy had said, "Will message later".
Yes, it was utterly silly of me to bother about playing with languages when I have my hands full , although one never knows how significant a silly thing could turn out to be.

And, I had thought "account hacking yuga" was almost over.

Linear Algebra quiz papers.

2009-11-06T06:22:00.010+05:30

Some of my friends wanted to see the Linear Algebra question papers. (OK, Linear Algebra is an elective for 5th semester ECE in RVCE.) Here I've uploaded them.

One of the better portion of my job is making question papers. Real learning happens when you frame questions.

Movies

2009-10-19T18:56:00.002+05:30

Jonathan Livingston Seagull (1973) - based on the book by Richard Bach
Theme is very different. Entire movie has only seagulls! Spiritual.

Little Prince (1974) - based on the book by Antonio Saint Exupéry
Some might find this kiddish. To the eyes that can see beyond, message that it conveys is very clear.

The Man From Earth (2007) - plot written by Jerome Bixby
Concept of immortality/God seen from a different perspective.

Whatever Works (2009) - written and directed by Woody Allen
Love defined as "Whatever Works"! Good balance of comedy, philosophy and romance.

Excellent among those I watched in last one month.

A Date with Self

2009-08-13T23:59:00.005+05:30

Today I went on a date with myself. It was very nice. There is so much to be said about it. If you care for small yet valuable things of life, I am sure you will enjoy this write-up even though you might find it very ordinary in the beginning.

I was confused and sad today morning for multiple reasons. I wanted to watch the movie Harry Potter and Half Blood Prince, but didn’t get anyone to go along with. That was not the primary reason for sadness. Starting from the thought (illusion) that I had made some stupid investments, I conjured up thousands of reasons to conclude that I have been acting stupid ever since I passed my tenth standard. I was telling my mum, I have never been happy after I left my home at the age of 15. Yes, there are such gloomy days like this,(the days when I say things that really don't mean anything) in my life, though they visit me very rarely.

I do not do anything consciously to avoid this gloom, because I know that the more I try to suppress the emotions, the more dominating they become. One can not be vibrant all the time. Hence I ignored the the feelings and continued to think what best I can do with my (stupid) mutual fund investments. There were a lot of mundane jobs to complete and I was on leave today. I left home at 1pm, after lunch.

Visited IISc for some work in SBI. I do not become nostalgic, since I never really “left” the institute. It was a nice experience to be there for a while. Then I went to SBI, Malleshwaram to change my stupid investments into profitable ones and came to know that it was not all that stupid. In fact, it was not at all stupid, though it seemed so due to market conditions. That elevated my mood a bit.

Then I went to ICICI bank, MG Road regarding some queries on my demat account as I resumed my stock trading after a gap of one year. Reached Garuda Mall at 2:30pm. The plan was to watch H.P. movie in INOX. I am scared of escalators. Everytime I encounter one, I challenge myself and use it. Nowadays I do not need help. I went all the way up to the 4^th floor via escalator. But the show had got canceled. Surprisingly, that did not make me feel unlucky. It was a long time since I roamed around like a free bird talking to myself and hence thought of utilizing the time generally freaking around.

Entered Barista. Had hot coffee with chocolate and cream. Visited Crossword bookshop. Started reading “Osho Fragrance”. Long ago I had stopped reading any of these “spiritually philosophical” books. But some unknown force compelled me to read it. I just could not stop reading it. Went on and on until the clock struck 5pm. I had completed half the book. Bought it. As I was reading, I felt lucky. If show was not canceled, I would have not read this wonderful book today and perhaps never in my life?!

I left the place finally at 6pm, after browsing a few more books. Treated myself with ice-cream at Baskin Robbins. Left for SP Road, near K.R. Market.

Here comes the interesting part. It has this background. I own a computer which can be called an antique piece. I love it. It is (literally) fair and lovely. To me, it is one of the symbols of my mum’s love. It is not just a material. It has certain values attached. We bought it in Y2K, at that time its cost was 45K, even though it was an assembled one. 500MHz P3 processor with intel 810 series motherboard, and you will not believe it- 64MB RAM and 10GB hard disk!! One could not run 2 applications simultaneously, but still I was using it. It carries cherished memories. Memories of those moments: the awe with which everyone at home, especially my young cousins and grandma looked at it, enthusiasm with which my mum learnt how to shut it down and later on how to use it and now, finally after all these years, how to browse the internet. Some people laughed at my system, without caring for my sentiments, which really made me think, “What is their problem? Who are they to dictate me what I should do?”

I had lost my father a week before I was born. My mother meant everything to me and, I for her. When I was in sixth standard, I wanted a bicycle and she did not buy one. That had hurt me a lot and she had sensed it. She did not want to hurt my feelings again, when I wanted a system. With a part of whatever small amount that came as my father’s share from our family, she bought that system for me when I was in B.E. It was a big risk spending so much money at that time. It is difficult to empathize, unless you have been through a similar situation. Someone said in a workshop recently conducted in RVCE, “In order to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, you need to first remove yours.” We are all biased, we can not really see someone’s life from eyes other than ours. If you are the one who grew up in a family where your parents were in a position to fulfill your needs even before you asked, then with 90% probability, you will not be able to visualize situations such as this.

I knew very well what kind of a system I can get these days with just less than 10K. I also knew that, if I bought new components, I would throw the old ones. I did not really need high performance for the kind of tasks I did: Preparing course material, Browsing internet, Blogging, Watching movies, Playing songs and so on. I hate computer games. I did a system scan with the software available on this site. It reported that my system has 2 SDRAM slots, and 256MB RAM compatibility! After that, one fine day I had been to SP Road to inquire about the price and come to know that cost of one chip was just Rs. 300.

Getting back to the date with myself: from Garuda Mall I went to SP Road to purchase 2 SDRAM chips and transcend portable hard disk. Spent Rs.5,770 totally. Just 5170 Rs for 500GB disk, with 2 years warranty, isn’t that cool, when a moserbaer DVD costs 15 bucks and a CD 10 bucks?

Returned home, fixed the chips and started the system. The system responded amazingly fast. (It has windows 2000 OS.) The new hard disk was also getting accessed very fast. You believe it or not, it works faster than a dual core processor with 2GB RAM and windows Vista OS. All that I have done is the replacement of one component; and I can use it for years now on.

When we live for ourselves, love what we are blessed with, and are blessed with love for the self and the nature (includes all living and non-living objects), the life gets filled with happiness and satisfaction.

Good Luck!

2009-08-10T07:32:00.004+05:30

A loser quote: "If not for bad luck, I wouldn't have had any luck at all"...

Forgot who said it. Have you ever felt this way? Worse, do you keep feeling this way often? If answer to the second question is yes, then you need to seriously think about changing the way you handle your life. Oh..I am not saying this. Read the TOI Sacred Tree clip below and you will know. This has been roaming around for a while through the world wide web. (Note: Click on it and zoom for a better view)

Wise people say, "God gives sugar to those who have milk". We can interpret it like this: if we are not receptive, we will not be lucky. Often, a seemingly bad event may happen to be a good one in disguise. We should have the eye to see. Be brave, face life as it comes, do what you can, expect the best, and everything will fall in place. Do not say, "Everything will be OK", say "Everything is Good and it will continue to be"

An optimistic quote: "Fortune favors the brave."

The Fast Track Semester - Vol 3

2009-07-29T10:16:00.002+05:30

Yesterday the test got over. Before that, I had given them a practice test and asked them to write it under the test conditions; but they had not written. The test paper was not very easy, because I wanted them to work hard for the final examination. If the test was easy, they would score good marks and become over-confident and would not study. Even if they pass the CIE (internals) cutoff of 40%, which is based on both quiz and test, they would fail in the finals, if the paper is tough. It is easy to pass the internal cutoff because the quiz contributes a lot. Test paper resembles the final paper and hence it is more realistic.

Two out of Four people got 28% each, one got 40% and the highest was 53%. All of them passed the CIE cutoff though, because of the quiz. But with the test percentage being as low as 28%, it is hard to pass in the final. One has to get 40 out of 100 in the final. The question paper is of 160 marks and they have to choose 5 questions out of 8.

The reason for low performance is mainly laziness. Three of my four students were above 79% in their 12th standard. Once they are out of home, they become like unbridled horses. They stop being responsible for their actions. They stop valuing their parents' hard earned money and their own time. I see their failure not as failue to learn, but as decadence of character. Fortunately, with me they do not tell lies. One guy said, he could not come to the class last Saturday because he could not get up before 9AM and the reason for that was watching movies till 5AM using his laptop. I asked him patiently, "What is your father's occupation?", the guy said, "Engineering". I asked, "Do you think you would be rich enough to own a laptop, had your father done his engineering like the way you are doing yours?", "No ma'am". "Do you have the intention to look after your parents in their old age?", "Yes ma'am, of course I do". "Do you think listening to my advice is easier, or working hard is easier? Why do you make me say all these?", "Depends on the situation ma'am. Sometimes working hard is more difficult." By the way this was a part of the conversation between the topper among those four. I think only because he is truthful, he was able to score at least 53% in my test paper. Including the quiz marks, they are at 40,46,47 and 62 out of 100.

You see, with this attitude, even if I try my best to make them understand the concepts, work out problems in the class and give assignments, they are not going to make use of it. They want temporary relief, momentary pleasure, a life of luxury and no introspection. They are least bothered about their own opinion about themselves. I had asked another question, "Do you remember having done anything in the recent past, which makes you proud of yourselves?" None of them had any answer. I don't think I need to comment anything more.

The Fast Track Semester - Vol2

2009-07-18T21:18:00.004+05:30

This is an update on the fast track semester.... I must admit that today I got a bit more excited than usual and hence I want to share the good news that caused it with my reader friends.

10 sessions of Signals and Systems are over, i.e. 20 hours out of 48 hours. Today I gave them the formal quiz. (Before this I had given them 2 practice quizzes). It is of 20 marks and it is a special feature of autonomous curriculum. VTU conducts just the tests; no quizzes. Quizzes consist of objective type questions of 1 or 2 marks. I was a bit tensed about the quiz, because this is their only quiz, whatever they score in this will be doubled and finalized. In the regular semester, they get three quizzes and the sum of the better two quiz marks will be considered.

There can be various reasons for a fast track semester teacher to get tensed. One reason could be, the teacher will be questioned for students' low marks. My reason is not that. I was very proud of my teaching so far and I wanted to prove the statement, "Aparna is a good teacher for good students only" wrong. For that, no amount of argument would suffice. Numbers should speak. That is why today morning I was a bit worried. I had told them that it would start on time and any late-comer would lose so much time.

Exactly at nine, one out of the four came. The other three came late. I did not give any extra privilege to late-comers. At the end of the quiz, I corrected the papers, after all there were six one mark and seven two marks questions only. To my amazement, two of them scored fifteen, one scored twelve and the fourth one got eleven. All of them got above ten! There was no scope to copy, moreover the questions were not direct, even though they were not very tough. It was neither an easy nor a tough paper. Class average was 13.25/20 and so, I was just on the cloud number nine! I had prepared the Analog Communication quiz-3 paper last semester and the class average (of about 110 students) was just 10. Highest in that paper was 16 and second highest, 14. Considering that, isn't the today's performance by "so called dull" students in my paper great!! I want to thank these four students for making me feel happy and proud.

To some of you, this post might sound like bragging. My intention is not that. Today I watched the movie "Before Sunset" for the second time. The entire movie consists of only the conversation between two people in the early thirties - Jesse and Celine. In that movie, there is a mention of finding joy in little achievements. I strongly believe that if we wait for big things to happen to be happy, we will never be happy. Key to enjoy life is to cherish every moment of it; be present at that moment.

In fact, my students do the homeworks and assignments with atmost shraddha. Geetha says, "Shraddhaavan Labhate Jnaanam, Tatparaha Samyatendriyaha, Jnaanam Labdhvaa Paraam Shaantim, Achirenaadhigacchati" I have never seen this shloka working so effectively before. Their dedication is paying them well. The satisfaction I get by making these students learn the subject is much more than that I get by teaching during the regular semester. More updates in the next posts.

Being Spiritual!

2009-07-16T18:41:00.003+05:30

"Spirituality" is the most misused word in the world-in my view. I've got so sick of it. In orkut, the most fashionable statement seems to be "spiritual but not religious". I am comfortable without using this word. There's a reason why I remembered this word now. What I am going to write below is related to this.

I've been reading "Rasarishi Kuvempu's" literary masterpiece, his first novel- "Kaanooru Heggadithi". I got the motivation to read this after reading K.P. Poornachandra Tejaswi's "Annana Nenapu" - a book about his Anna (father), Kuvempu. Annana Nenapu is not only about Kuvempu, it has much more in it. It is very humorous, makes one float with laughter. Some of the incidents described there generate reverence towards the author's father, by giving a better idea about the personality of "Anna".

One should never miss the preface of great books. The preface for "Kanooru Heggadithi" was written on December 16, 1936 by Kuvempu himself. It starts as "Kaadambari Karathala Rangabhoomi", meaning "A novel is a drama-stage on one's palm". In the preface he explains how a novel should be enjoyed. "Enjoying the novel is also a creative work, just like writing it. Empathy is very important for feeling the novel. Read it slowly, visualize everything. Whatever I have presented here is a tiny drop from the ocean-like life of Malnad. Don't come to hasty conclusions. It is impossible to understand everything in one read, just like how impossible it is to understand people of a new place as soon as one enters the place. Therefore, take your own time. If you get even a little bit of joy, I would feel very good."

Initially it goes a bit slow. I think the visualization becomes easy for a person like me who's born and brought up in a village. Still, I felt like stopping after a few pages. The reason was I think, in some places, it goes too much into low level lives of coolies. That becomes a bit boring: their alcoholism, wife-beating, superstitions etc. But it must have been the reality at that time in that place, which was supposed to be a village near Teerthahalli. I could continue only because I wanted to. And, to my pleasant surprise, the patience started paying after about 200 pages. The novel has 640 pages. Even though the title suggests that the novel is centered around a lady, namely "Subbamma Heggadithi of Kaanooru", it can appear different to different people depending on their taste. Till 500 pages, Subbamma is not given much importance at all. She is the third wife of a "rich" gowda of that village.

What touched me the most was the way "prakruthimaathe" is painted there. One can "see" the golden sunrise, the mountains, the green trees, the birds, the scary animals - especially the tiger, the silver like water and many more. One can get vicarious experience through the character Hoovayya-a very different person from the rest of them. His love life and the lack thereof and the way he takes it, the way detaches himself from the rest of the world in spite of being actively involved in the daily work! Real karmayogi described in the Geetha. The way he sees God in nature! The way he performs Dhyana! Our old wise sages say, "To someone who wants to concentrate, it does not matter whether he is inside a cave or in the middle of a market".

Hoovayya is the real embodiment of perfection. It is not that he never does mistakes. He often makes mistakes, due to the lack of experience and unfortunately he does most of them in understanding his childhood sweetheart Seethe. Both of them pay for it heavily. It is a tragedy as far as that part is concerned. Still, the best thing about it is the message it conveys, by showing how Seethe takes her love failure and how Hoovayya takes it. How it portrays Hoovayya's "Nispruhate" or "Nirliptate"-there is no better word for it. Hoovayya, being a learned and well read person finds peace in himself and nature, in helping his fellow humans, in trying to remove the superstitions from the minds of the villagers, in being good to even his uncle who always wished his downfall. Often one tends to mistake Hoovayya for a hypocrite, but then the reader's better judgment wins. Hoovayya is soft, just like his name-which means flower. There's also a weak person called Ramayya-Hovayya's cousin.

We usually find people like Ramayya, who can be called good as long as everything goes according to their wish. It is tough to find people whose integrity remains intact despite undergoing hardships. Often the appearances can be deceptive; a person can talk politely, he may even help you, but internally he would not be a satisfied soul. Such a fellow always tends to be an escapist. For sometime, just like how Ramayya found peace in Hoovayya's company, he might find peace in great peoples' company. In the next available opportunity (or he himself creates one), he starts hating that very same person whom he used to adore. That happens mainly because he slowly starts comparing himself with this person and realizes the shallowness of the self. He can not digest the facts and the harsh truths about himself. He even doubts that this great soul looks down upon him. The doubt will turn into paranoia and it might lead to a kind of personality disorder. Such people have little capacity to introspect. They think they know everything, when they actually know nothing. Anyways, let me stop talking about such characters, it is not interesting to even think about them.

Coming back to the divine novel: What makes it divine and hence special is its closeness to the nature and the way it presents the common man's life in the early 20th century. It seems like a non-fiction. Kuvempu's knowledge of Indian scriptures and western literature is patent in this work. He is very successful in making me feel the "navarasa" while reading it. Had I read it about ten years ago, I am not sure whether I would have liked it. One needs a bit more maturity to read such books.

About 3 years ago, I had posted an article on S.L.Bhairappa's novels. After that, I read some more of his books. I think only 3-4 books are remaining out of about 20. I respect Bhairappa for his contribution to Kannada literature. Still, I can't help but humbly opine that Kuvempu is much above. I must read "Malegalalli Madumagalu" and "Shri Ramayana Darshanam".

It becomes incomplete without the mention two of my favorite poems by Kuvempu.
One is "Baarisu Kannada Dindimava". The lines I like are,
"Sattantiharanu badideccharisu,
Kacchaaduvaranu koodisi olisu,
Hotteya kicchige kanner surisu,
Ottige baaluva teradali harasu"
meaning, "Awaken (the spirit within) those who are like the dead, Pacify those who quarrel, shed some tears for jealousy and bless them to live in harmony", and finally the last stanza ends with "Sarvodayavaagali sarvarali" meaning..no I can't translate it well.

Another one is "O nanna chetana, Aagu nee aniketana". The ones which mean special to me are,
"Ananta taan anantavaagi,
Aagutihane nityayogi,
Ananta nee anatavaagu
Aagu, Aagu, Aagu, Aagu"
which roughly means, "May you attain infinite amount of wisdom, knowledge and thus become a yogi". Poetry should be understood in its original language.

I want to just say one thing at the end: Spirituality has to be felt and should not be talked about.

Fast Track Semester!

2009-07-03T11:49:00.003+05:30

I am taking a course i.e. Signals and Systems in the Fast Track Semester. This is a special feature of autonomous and deemed engineering institutes. It is offered during the vacation following the even semester. It is for the failed students to pass and others to improve their grades if they want. It has a set of rules for failed students. A students can not take more than 16 credits (means roughly 4 theories of 4 credits each or 3 theories+2 labs of 2 credits each) in a fast track semester. To get promoted to the next semester, a student should have minimum CGPA of 5.0 and less than 5 subjects to carry.

In my subject there are 4 students. All are F grade cases. The semester is for 6 weeks. Each week has 4 slots for my subject and a slot is of 2 hours duration. Yesterday afternoon was the first class. I had no clue how it would be, but at the end of the class I was more than happy with the quality of the students. I was amazed when upon being offered a break at 3:15pm, they did not take it. They worked out the concepts, they seemed to follow what I was talking. It was more of an interactive session. I gave them homework. If they do it and show in the next class, that's my first success of the fast track semester.

When I was offered this course to teach, I accepted without hesitation for 3 reasons:

1) I was very comfortable with the subject,

2) In the next regular semester I am going to teach Digital Signal Processing and brushing up Signals & Systems fundamentals would help a lot, and

3) I wanted to check my effectiveness in teaching the "so called dull" students.

Here I've put "so called dull" in quotes because, I think these "dull" students are really not "dull". They would've failed due to other reasons like laziness to study, health problems, getting tensed and messing up in the examination etc. Hence the first thing that I did was to ask them what did they think was their primary reason for failure. It's easy to give personal attention when the number of students is less. But in some subjects, especially the first year subjects, the number is as high as 50 or 100. That is because first year is common irrespective of the branch.

I told each of them to write down their target grade on the first page of their notebook and sign it. That's like a promise made to themselves and me. They can modify it to set a better target, but they are not allowed to lower it during the semester. We are not aiming at just passing, but on learning and passing.

They all have good sense of humor. They are nice company to be with. For me, not even a minute seemed boring, don't know for them whether it was the same. Let's comment more in the August second week, when the classes end. So long then.

Linear Algebra...

2009-06-22T16:31:00.004+05:30

Last week, we had Prof. C. R. Pradeep with us, apart from Vittal Rao. He is also a wondrous guy. All these teachers are excellent story-tellers. They'll have ample number of them from their own life or from the life of famous Mathematicians. Nice thing about C.R.Pradeep is that he thinks aloud in the class. He pretends to have got confused and hence resolves students' confusions. He said, "Maths is not about learning definitions, but rather learning why they are defined that way."

Today's lectures were by Prof. Ashok Rao. I found Ashok Rao's approach very ad hoc! Don't think I mean it in a negative sense. It helps in a way to look at concepts in a holistic way. He has a very unconventional method of teaching. One should listen to the bold statements he makes in the class! No one and no system of education is spared. One should have real confidence to make such remarks, seriously!

One thing common among these teachers is that they are from the same institute, and that's the only thing common. Each one has his own method of teaching, his own way of visualizing. Vittal Rao taught Pradeep and Ashok Rao, but he has not prepared his copies. He brings out the latent talent of the students. Students explore themselves under his guidance. Ashok Rao says, "Vittal Rao doesn't know how great he is, he has produced 100 great teachers and 100 great students in India. That's an achievement beyond words".

Nowadays the meaning of good teaching is not well understood. If someone can make a student "comprehend" what the book says, that's supposed to be good teaching. In my view, good teaching is a lot more than that. I am sure I don't know what a great teaching means. Good teaching means generating the interest to learn. It means teaching something that the books can not convey. It means making a student think, make him realize that he can be much more than what he is today.

I know, I would've missed so much had I not attended this workshop. Thanks to my HOD, I got a chance. Like a fool, when I was at IISc, I had never attended any of the classes by any of these 3 resourceful persons. One can never know what one has missed, unless and until one gets a chance to have it. This is true in any aspect of life. For example, unless you attempt to read a novel, you'll never know, whether you'll like it. You might or might not like it, but it is wrong to assume that you'll not like a novel, when you have poor reading habits. Same is the case with movies. Similar is the case with enjoying any other art form. Finally, extending the theory further, just think of how wrong it is to assume that you'll not like somebody, when you've hardly known that person, or when you have just a biased view! Trust me there are people who make such assumptions.

Life is congruent to Mathematics in general and Linear Algebra in particular. Sounds like a far-fetched statement? I am not saying "Jeevanave ondu lekkachaara" i.e. "Life is an account-book". While studying Linear Algebra, I could find a few analogies with life. For example, just like how a linear transformation transforms a vector from one vector space to another, many incidents transform us. They induce some attributes, they take away some, they modify. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. An incident can be "annihilating transform" on some people, just analogous to Ax = 0. It can make us better like, multiplication of a matrix with its eigenvector. An eigenvector does not change its direction and if the corresponding eigenvalue is greater than one, it gets amplified in magnitude. Analogously, some people and situations can strengthen our character.

Actually, everyone uses Linear Algebra in either professional or personal life; only subconsciously. {For example, the primeminister has to deal with some 1000 cross 1000 matrix (grossly underestimated). All his calculations are about how several factors ultimately affect GDP.} This workshop is helping us to be more and more conscious of it. It is such a beautiful thing. In fact, these professors say, a well focused highschool kid can understand it. It has to be learnt in a proper way, the first time one learns it. If a student chooses opts this subject for scoring, I am sure he'll end up neither learning, nor scoring. Choose it to learn it; enjoy while learning. You'll ultimately get good marks.

Linear Algebra Workshop

2009-06-17T18:37:00.002+05:30

I am attending a 11 day workshop (for faculty) on Application Oriented Linear Algebra at PESIT. 3 days over and so far sooooooooo good. If I mention one name here, no other testimonial is needed. Any current/past IIScian would know the quality of it quickly, and that big name is nothing but "Prof. R.Vittal Rao".

It is weird but true that during my 2 and half yrs stay at IISc I didn't attend a single class by this person. I had just watched a few videos. One has to sit in his class to get the complete feel of it. Every now and then he'd tell some real stories of the institute, and as we all know, any story associated with institute is very interesting.

He doesn't like the idea of coming late or going late. It seems he'd lock the door from inside as soon as he enters the class and tell the students that they are free to walk out and lock him from outside, if he exceeds time. He said, he was never locked in so far.

We asked him which book would be good for linear algebra and the guy says, "I should write a book". He doesn't support the idea of teaching from a book. He adds, "If one can't understand concepts at undergrad level, one can never get hold of them later. Hence it is important to focus on learning, rather than getting marks". If only every student realizes this!

I'll give just one example on how he teaches. There's this concept of Eigenvalues and Eigenvectors of a matrix A. Eigenvectors are those which resist the change in direction. They say, "Hit me with a strong A, I might get a dent (I might shrink or elongate), but I won't turn, I am strong". Someone long ago said, Maths is "study of invariants." So, we are interested in those which do not change.

He doesn't actually teach, he just talks. He talks Maths. He makes us feel we talk Maths too. People like him are difficult to get. I would love to be as appealing as him. I would definitely try. I always feel it is not sufficient to appreciate someone. The real appreciation should be shown in terms of actions.

Writer? Yes?..No?..Not sure.

2009-06-10T09:22:00.005+05:30

Some of my friends have been suggesting me to start writing something "great"- a book for example, instead of limiting myself to blogging. Respecting their suggestions I thought about it.

Here is an enumeration of essential qualities to be satisfied to be a good writer:

1. Creativity and the capacity to let the imaginations wander,

2. Ability to assemble the imaginations and give them a shape,

3. Good hold on the language, attention to the grammar/spelling,

4. Excellent vocabulary, which, according to the scholars is a result of knowledge and wisdom,

5. Ability to wear someone else's hats or shoes or shirts/sarees or whatever even if it is not of one's size,

6. Absence of the habit of projecting one's own personality on the characters. Every character has to think and behave in its own way. The writer should not write based on what he/she would do during that situation.

7. Variety in the making of characters: The writer should be able to create different sorts of personalities. Under no circumstances, the reader should be forced to think, "Hey, this character here is so inconsistent/erratic", unless that was intended,

8. Should have deep knowledge in at least one field. Must be capable and confident of doing thorough study in any other field and write about it. For this, decent breadth of knowledge is necessary,

9. Controlled redundancy in writing,

10. A work should entertain a large class of people. However good it may be, unless it appeals to the readers, it is not worth the effort. If one writes for one's own satisfaction, one can as well write in a diary.
11. Detachment from the work. Pretty soon, usually if the first work itself is successful, an author gets so attached to his concepts that he loses the ability to think along the other dimensions. In case of positive feedback, one is inclined to be overwhelmed and in case of negative feedback, one tends to be defensive,

12. A writer should be level headed, not judgmental and should not have self-righteous attitude.

Now, my dear friends, you are free to give your feedback openly or in private. You can add points to these. Rate me/my writings based on those. My objective analysis about myself tells me that there's a long way to go.

Why Do People Help Others?

2009-06-08T11:30:00.003+05:30

Isn't the human psychology a bit [read-very] weird? When we see someone else or ourselves helping a fellow human or an animal, do we examine the psychology behind it? Here is an attempt towards thorough analysis:

There are several intentions behind "helping". Depending on the intentions, people are divided into the following categories.

First one: One belonging to this division is taught at home and school this mantra: "Help others". They may not even know why they are doing it, it has become their nature.

Second one: As a person grows up, he learns a lesson through his experiences-"If I help others, they help me in my need". With this understanding, when he helps someone, he makes sure that the person at the receiving end has the ability to reciprocate. This checking can often happen subconsciously. That is the reason behind such people getting angry upon hearing the statement, "You are selfish, when you help me also, you do it with selfish motives". No one wants to hear the truth about themselves, especially when one knows it.

Third one: One can help another not necessarily with selfish motives. Nevertheless, what happens is, when the other person does not reciprocate, this person can feel bad. This category is the milder version of the second category. At the time of helping, there won't be any calculation going on, but later, if the need arises, there will be some expectation.

Fourth one: Some people help others just to boost their self-respect. You will hear such people often say, "I am good. I have been kind to people. God(?) will do good to me". This is another form of helping with selfish motives. Only difference is that these people expect the unseen hands to help them during their tough times.

Fifth one: There is yet another set of people who derive joy by seeing a smile in others' faces. For this reason they help. If we observe them closely, we can make out that these people are very much into solving big problems of others, because, bigger the problem, the more the other person smiles, and the more happiness they get.

Sixth one: People from this category do it just as a duty. They are beyond all reasoning. If you thank them for what they did, "Anyone in my position would have done the same. If not me, you would have got someone else to do it for you. Your purpose is served and that is what matters here." Can't help but comment, "What a way to live!"

More inputs/references are welcome. Which one do you place yourself in, can tell you a lot about your own character and attitude.

Patenting the Suicide Idea

2009-06-03T14:38:00.004+05:30

"A philosopher is the one who has solutions to all the problems but his/her own". - Aparna/Shreevathsa

One philosopher got fed up by so many problems that she decided to commit suicide. She told her friend about her decision.

He did not object, instead asked, "So, which one are you going to use? Jumping off the cliff? Taking the sleeping pills? cutting the blood vessels? Cyanide?..."

This lady thought for sometime and replied, "No, I am not going to use any of these. I am going to innovate even during my death."

He asked, "What is the use?"

"I am going to patent that particular suicide idea!".

"What is the use?"-the friend asked again.

"So that I'll be of some use to my relatives after my death too".

Her mother asked, "But, if they use your idea to commit suicide without paying us, whom can we sue?"

With that, the useless discussion came to an end.

By now, the dumbest reader would've easily guessed that the philosopher in the above paragraph is me! By the way, the word "dumb" does not mock the literally dumb people. It has a secondary meaning "dull", moronic. Just remembered: if you haven't watched "Dumb and Dumber"-a 1994 movie on the cross-country adventures of two good-hearted but incredibly stupid friends-you must watch it. Last time I watched it in 2003. Should watch once again.

OK, I know I am jumping from one topic to another in an ad hoc way; I know that. Many a times I talk like this only. The real culprit is my unusually strong associative memory. The moment I say "associative", I just remembered that artificial neural networks store the information in the same way as human brain does, i.e., in an "associative" way. This I learnt in my 7th sem B.E.. We had a subject called Fuzzy logic and Neural Networks. Really good. My B.E. project also involved neural networks. Funny topic. We had an excellent teacher by name Dr.P.Subbanna Bhat. He used to teach this one. He was my project guide too. You see, this is what happens if one uses "associative memory". One tends to jump from philosopher to Subbanna Bhat and back to philosopher too, just because this Subbanna Bhat Sir used to talk lot of good philosophy. I think I inherit a part of it and often use it in the classroom.

Remembered one more thing. This Subbanna Bhat Sir happens to be my students' grandteacher. We invented this idea of grandteacher-grandstudent relationship in IISc. We did it when we came to know that one of our professors, Dr.Utpal Mukherjee was a student of Prof.Gallager of MIT (not Manipal or Madras) who was the pioneer of LDPC codes. We used to take pride in telling, "We are the grandstudents of Prof.Gallager". We used to work out an entire lineage like this. In IISc, it did not lead to any complications. But in undergrad colleges, one can get into a whole lot of mess. For example, after some years, if my student joins as a teacher in RVCE EC Dept, and both of us take class for the same set of students, then I become a grandteacher of my own students. I might even become great grandteacher of my own students, if I wait for long enough.

Got bored? Do I sound a bit like J.D.Salinger in his controversial work, "The Catcher in the Rye"? This is a must read book for those who have crossed twenty. Reading before that age is a bit dangerous. A bit disturbing/ philosophical book actually.

Most boring job!

2009-05-28T13:06:00.002+05:30

Have you ever thought how interesting it would be to take up watchman's job? To find out, you need not take up the watchman's job necessarily. Here is an easier way. Be a lecturer in an engineering college, especially in a private college and you will come to know. In fact, the above mentioned lecturer post gives you a taste of many more jobs too.

Internals for engineering students last for one and half hours. One of the rules for room superintendents is to keep walking for the entire duration of the test. Sometime a lecturer can get two or three duties per day, and it can be a terrible experience. Nevertheless, since it is with a break of at least fifteen minutes, it is not all that miserable. Real challenge is to take up invigilation for the end semester examinations. The total duration is three hours and the room superintendent is not allowed to sit at all. In between, this person is relieved for fifteen minutes, which will be effectively only for ten minutes, especially if the staff room is away.

After going through this horrible exercise of invigilating, it is not hard to imagine how a security guard's day would go. It is no better than solitary confinement, except that here the guard can see the daylight. Can anyone refute this statement-"The most uninteresting job is watchman's job"? Is there any scope for creativity or innovation? Isn't it unfair that they are paid a meagre sum at the end of the month? It may be true that they chose this job. Still, the job is grossly being underestimated. They deserve to be paid better.

Here is an anecdote: The CEO of a big organization was supposed to go abroad for a meeting. On the day of his travel, in the morning one of his night-wathmans came running and said, "Sir, please do not travel today, I dreamt that plane is going to crash." The CEO never believed in these usually, but for a change, he stayed back. The plane did crash. The next day security was fired from his job. What could be the reason? Think.

Some General Stuff..

2009-05-14T13:48:00.004+05:30

What do I do these days? Practically nothing!

Semester has ended so quickly. Folks are busy mugging up for and writing the exams. Two and half months of fun has got over. 16th of this month, I will be completing three months in RVCE. Time flies!

Does it? Not always. Not when one wants it to. Not when one is desperate. Everyday I get up at 6 or 6:15am, get ready by 7:45am, spend one hour in travel and sit in my room only to wait for clock to show 4pm. I do not waste time, not at all. I have already started preparations for the next semester. I read about general stuff in wiki. I chat with old buddies. Good.

But I miss my classroom. I miss all those labs where I used to ask funny questions when they got worried about trivial things like attendance. Labs used to be the places where I used to be at my creative "bestest", trying to help students to answer my own questions on coming late. I don't know how am I going to wait till September first week for the odd semester to commence.

These days even the quotes have started cheating me. They strike only once in a blue moon. One did strike me just the day before yesterday: "I don't get bored easily, because I soon get bored of being bored". A few days ago one more I had come up with: "Changing judgments often is a sign of not being judgmental". These are just some timepass things. I don't really enjoy them anymore. Definitely not after reading the book "Wit"- a collection of quotes by Professor Des MacHale.

A few words about this particular book: I must thank the person who introduced me to this book (or the other way round? always confused, anyways). The credit goes to our department HOD, Mr.S.Jagannathan. (He is a voracious reader and a person with good sense of humor). This book has well known and lesser known quotes by famous personalities like Woody Allen, Oscar Wilde, Mark Twain, G.B.Shaw, P. G. Wodehouse, Somerset Maugham, Friedrich Nietzsche, Bertrand Russel, Winston Churchill, Adolf Hitler, Groucho Marx - to name a few. There are also quotes by numerous other people about whom we would not have heard often. The quotes are categorized into Art, Business, Education, Food, Literature, Love, Marriage, Media, Politics, Music, Sport etc. The preface by the author is very good. He has some valid points to say on what can be called as a quote. As Shakespeare said in his celebrated tragedy 'Hamlet': "Brevity is the soul of wit".

Some samples:

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance - H. L Mencken

I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It's about Russia. - Woody Allen

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money. - Henny youngman

You are not drunk, if you can lie on the floor without holding on. - Dean Martin

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. - Ed Furgol

In the first place God made idiots; that was for practice; then he made school board. - Mark Twain

An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex. - Edgar Wallace

A lecture is a process by which the notes of the professor become the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either. - R.K. Rathbun

The sun never sets on the British Empire because God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark. - Duncan Spaeth

I have orders to be awakened at any time in case of a national emergency, even if I am in a cabinet meeting. - Ronald Reagan

I have tried in my time to be a philosopher, but cheerfulness always keeps breaking in. - Olivar Edwards

Thank God, I am an atheist. - Luis Bunuel

Woman was God's second mistake. - Friedrich Nietzsche

Purposely I have put the rarely heard ones here. There are many more, probably a few thousands. It is a book one needs to buy and keep. But I don't think it is available in any of the Bangalore bookshops.

Recently while browsing wikipedia, I came across this word polymath. The word is a bit misleading, but the meaning is quite interesting. There is a science fiction by this name: Polymath. Do read it and give a brief review if you can. I have lots pending before I can pick that up.

Bye until the next post...Enjoy.

Infinities and Aparna's bijective map

2009-04-17T15:28:00.003+05:30

Infinity, as the name suggests, is that which is not finite. The concept is a bit scary, not easily understandable. First time when I heard about it in mathematics, I was thrilled. Later when my programs started entering into infinite loops due to bugs, I started hating infinity. I even thought of leaving my programs to run for infinite time trying to understand what infinite time means. Seriously, I was so stupidly curious at that time. Soon after I left programming, I started loving infinity again. As I thought more and more about infinity and after reading the quote by Einstein, "Two things are infinite: Universe and Human Stupidity; I am not sure about the former", I defined a relation between stupidity, love and infinity. To understand that, you must understand the several kinds of infinities.

There are infinite types of infinities. Basically one needs to understand 2 kinds to understand infinite kinds. First consider a countable infinite set N = {1,2....infinity}. Then 2N = {2,4,....infinity}, which is same as removing alternate numbers from N. But since we can define a bijection(injective & surjective map) from N to 2N as f(x) = 2x for all x belonging to N, the cardinality (number of elements) of 2N is same as that of N. Therefore, the two sets are of same infinite order. A power set of a set is the set of all its subsets. Cardinality of the power set of a set with n elements is 2 power n. Obviously there can't be a bijection from a set to its power set, because the power set has more (means 2 power n) elements. Following this logic, power set of N mentioned earlier has cardinality 2 power infinity. Hence 2 power infinity is the immediate bigger infinity than our good old simple infinity. Now consider the power set of the power set, cardinality of which is 2 power 2 power infinity. Extending this infinite number of times, we find that there are infinite types of infinities.

Recently I have come up with a bijective map.

Let X be a set defined as X = {stupidity, love} and Y = {infinity, 2 power infinity}.

f:X->Y defined as ,

f(stupidity) = infinity, -----(1)

f(love) = 2 power infinity

= 2 power stupidity {from (1)

Can you "C"?

2009-04-01T11:38:00.004+05:30

Caution: I am egocentric and egotistic. No, a better word for me is "narcissist". This is yet another blog centered around myself.

People often ask me the expansions of "C" and "K" in my name, which are "Chakrakodi" and "Krishnashastry" respectively. The next question is where's this place "Chakrakodi" or whether it is a place, for which no one on this earth probably has the answer.

Actually, "C" can be interpreted in lot more interesting ways: Creative, Credible, Connoisseur, Confident, Conqueror, Conscientious, Curious etc. "C" in my name does not mean any of these. I like to associate my "C" primarily with the following three things:-

1. Correlating (the Coincidences),

2. Confusing (even the Close friends), and

3. Contradicting (myself).

Ever since my 6th semester engineering, I've been hearing, "You are Complicated". Surprisingly, it took them so long to find out; I knew it much earlier. Complicated minds have the ability and inclination to Correlate even the unrelated things and situations. Not just that, they have a passion for jumping to Conclusions based on these Correlations, even if they know that more often than not, these are wrong. Reading between lines, finding patterns in numbers, interpreting incidents to be signs of some significance, and finally based on these, Coming up with weird theories and Corollaries. {I am a highly impractical and philosophical individual with absolutely no sense for my priorities.} Many a times there's no Correlation between what I think, say and do, rather there are Contradictions. In this way I become an enigma to those around me. If they try to understand me by applying my own theories on myself, they are bound to get Confused. Hold on, you must believe that the following sentence in the next paragraph is true.

All of the above is false. Can you "C" that?

Happy Fools' Day..

There is Something about Teaching...

2009-03-31T15:00:00.003+05:30

Worth a read, even if you've read it before:-

Some dinner guests were discussing life. One man, a CEO, explained the problem with education: "What's a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher? You know what they say about teachers: 'Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.' " He turned to a guest and said, "You're a teacher, Bonnie. Be honest. What do you make?" Bonnie replied, "You want to know what I make? I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could. I make a C+ feel like the Congressional Medal of Honor. I make kids sit through 40 minutes of class time when their parents can't make them sit for 5 minutes without an iPod, GameBoy or movie rental. I make kids wonder. I make them question. I make them apologize and mean it. I make them have respect. I make them take responsibility for their actions. I teach them to write and then I make them write. I make them read, read, read. I make them show their work in math. I make them use their brains. I make students from other countries learn everything they need to know in English while preserving their unique cultural identity. I make my classroom a place where all my students feel safe. I make my students stand and place their hand over their heart when they say the Pledge of Allegiance. I make them understand that if they use their gifts, work hard, and follow their heart, they can succeed in life. And then, when people try to judge me by my salary, because I know money isn't everything, I hold my head up high and ignore their ignorance. So what do I make? I make a difference! And what do you make, Mr. CEO?" There was no response.

I had got this e-mail forward a few years ago and I was "doing" something in industry then. I was in full agreement with this. Bonnie might be real or fictitious character, does not matter to me, but I am real, and I face similar questions from people. People laugh at my foolishness. "Why you have chosen this 'job', when you can get so many better jobs with your qualifications? Why can't you go back to Ittiam?". People are ready to believe any other answer except the true reason for coming to this profession. For most in this society, teaching 'job' is the last resort. I get a surprise, when people whom I thought to be sensible talk this way. They do not understand that without their teachers they wouldn't have been what they are now. It is true that for some teachers, teaching is a 'job'. In every field, there are people who take a job as job and others who take it as passion.

In 2006, when I left the industry for higher studies, some had laughed at me, for leaving such a lucrative 'job', but then they came up with explanations such as, "May be after addition of a 'degree' she'll get paid better, that's why she is doing this." I did not give any clarifications. I did not go there for a degree, I went there because I realized my limits. B.E. is not at all sufficient to quench one's thirst for knowledge. When I worked as research assistant at IISc, I do not know what they thought, they must've had unanswered questions.

For me, even in industry, work was passion. It is not that I did not like industry. It is just that I love this more. There I used to interact with machines more, here I interact with humans more. Machines respond only technically-if I write a program, they give the output. Humans are much more expressive and lively. Yes, it is obvious, but many times we miss the obvious. We often end up loving materials more than people; nothing wrong, it is one's personal choice. This is my 'choice': sharing what I know, learning along with them, finding answers for my doubts and their doubts, being on my toes all the time as we have day by day basis deadlines which can't be slipped. We must be careful while taking leave, as we can't waste some 50 odd people's time. We must arrange for alternate classes. In addition we have lot of administration work. You see, it is not as easy as it looks from outside. I enjoy it. Right now, it looks as if this is what I wanted. (Opinion may change later.) I respect my teachers, I respect this profession. It is only adding to my self respect. I love my students, like a teacher must. I respect them like a friend and love like a sister too. I am emotional like any other human and I find no shame in admitting it. As long as no one can take advantage of my emotions, it is fine. I am emotional about every class. I make notes, modify it twice, think while traveling, think while teaching and think about how I taught and what I spoke. There are times when I get momentarily angry with them and shout. Interesting thing is, they do not feel bad. They know why I tell them what I tell. They are quite innocent (relatively innocent) who think that they are not. I laugh at their stupidity, I laugh at my own stupidity more often, who knows? it may be my stupidity to think that they are more innocent!

I believe that undergrad education is for shaping the character of a person. Hence I keep talking about other things too. I urge them to develop their own set of principles, a philosophy for life. I urge them to be honest with themselves and others. It is nice to see the results of my work. I try hard to make them realize that more than numbers, what they learn about various things-technical or nontechnical-is what matters. I think some of them realize it faster, but all of them ultimately will.

It is time to change the phrase as "Those who can, teach"; and we, the teachers, are not here to comment about "those who can't". Our job is to make our students think, "I can do whatever I want to".

Three in One

2009-03-01T20:27:00.011+05:30

ICTA – Santigram:- Rare Place to Find Peace:

Unlike most posts, this is not going to start with “I”. This post is about an extra-ordinary experience I had at a place called ICTA-Santigram, Kochin, Kerala. Stated in a language understandable by a layman, this institute has something to do with psychology. I have had passion for human psychology ever since I was a child. (It is evident in my earlier posts as well). The reason must be that I’ve grown up in an undivided family. The advantage with such family is, one gets to study various types of personalities, due to its sheer size. At one time we were 13 in our home. I was there till I crossed 15, before I moved to Mangalore for my 11^th standard. Human mind is very intricate, it has always amazed me and I was searching for a chance to learn about it more in the limited time I have, and at the same time without getting too much carried away by the vastness of the subject.

“Institute for Counseling and Transactional Analysis (ICTA)-Santigram”, was founded in 1973 by Fr.George Kandathil and group and is a charitable institute. I came to know about it recently through my friend Shwethakumari, Mangalore, who is a counselor. The only thing she told me was that this institute takes a different view of psychology, that which is known as Bernean approach, not the usual Freudian approach. This Eric Berne had started his own theory and I thought let me give it a try. Also, I had read a book by name “Road less traveled” by Dr.Scott Peck several years ago and liked the concepts. This was a good chance to check whether his views match that of Eric Berne’s. This Jan, I had been to ICTA, as a participant of 36^th National Conference on Transactional Analysis (NCTA). The conference was from Jan 22 to 26^th. Every year it is the same date, place may be Kochi or Pune. Fee was very less, 2,250 Rs for the conference and 150 Rs per day for the accommodation, both are much less than what they deserve.

The theme of the conference was “Relating – Gateway to Autonomy”. Fr.Kandathil-Accha in short-gave an inaugural speech on this. Accha is personification of spirituality. Being 88 years old, he has dementia to his credit. But he still remembers lot of Transactional Analysis (TA) related stuff. This is a gist of what he said: “When a person is mentally ill, she/he tends to be (over) dependent on others, in other words, loses autonomy. How to bring back the autonomy? The solution lies in relating to the surroundings. A person’s identity comes from his relations, like a child is first identified with respect to its mother and then father etc. It is parents’ responsibility to make a child grow and provide its identity. With the growth comes autonomy. Autonomy does not mean total independence. It is independence with interdependence. We all need relatives, friends, teachers, and acquaintances to live happily.”

I was planning to put down the contents of my notes here. But as my priorities have changed now, I am not able to make time for it. Moreover, these things need to be experienced first hand. If you just read the proceedings of the conference, it’ll sound like another personality management course. I recommend you to go through their website and attend one of their courses, mainly the TA workshops in future.

About 90 people had attended the conference and for me the amusing part was, some of them-those who were familiar with these methods-were studying me. Not just me, they were studying everyone’s every move and making observations and analyzing them. I received interesting comments!! My belief that people see their mirror image in me got confirmed, as different people were giving different opinions. I did not risk giving my opinions to anyone. Yes, it is a risk, because by revealing my opinion about others, by law of mirror images, I’ll be actually revealing my inner self.

The new place:

It’s been two weeks since I joined RVCE EC Department. Sorry friends, I cannot write anything here, other than facts. I am handling one theory subject, namely Analog Communication for 4^th semester and a few lab sessions for 4^th and 6^th semesters. The college is about 15kms from my home and I commute by college bus. I see the clock at 7:50am on Monday and then only at 3pm on Saturday. In between, I am not aware what is happening. It is as though I am in trance. Sunday just flies. I have no other comments on anything; wait, that does not mean I have nothing good to say. This blog might be watched by my students. It’s already found by one of my students as per my knowledge. Do not know how many more are reading it. These undergrads are like kids. Trust me, they are all good at heart.

Quotes for February 2009:

-Someone said I was irrational and I accepted, because I was not rational enough to disprove it.

Date: 20/02/09

-A person without self-love can not love anyone else. Same thing applies to respect and trust as well.

Date: 22/02/09

-The one without conscience lacks rationality, but may not be vice versa. (For example, children are irrational, but they are the most conscientious people)

Date: 22/02/09

-I am another name for contradictions,

I hate contradictions,

I love myself.

Date: 28/02/09

My Quotes - January 2009

2009-02-15T13:47:00.004+05:30

I was a bit busy with change of job during last few weeks and hence could not post a new thing here. I have got faculty position in EC department of RV College of Engineering, Bangalore- a career, I always wanted.

Below are the quotes I came up with, in the month of January 2009. Enjoy..

-Celebrities exist because the rest fail to succeed. (I mean, losers are the real makers of winners!) Date: 02-01-09

-When people are confused about what to see/believe, most see/believe what they want to. Date: 06-01-09

-I would rather be hated for what I am than be loved for what I am not. Date: 06-01-09.
Note: I later found that this quote was already said by Andre Gide.

-Character, in my view, is property of the soul. Date: 06-01-09

-If a man calls woman he loves or woman that loves him a bitch, it only means he is a dog and does not deserve love of any woman. (Begging pardon from Dog community) Date: 07-01-09

A Chinese quote: “What happens when unstoppable collides with immovable?”
-My answer: “They become one, travel with velocity of light and hence vanish” or “They attain moksha”. Date: 10-01-09

-Most of us give unnecessary explanations when it is not needed. Date:10-01-09
Note: You know, I could’ve explained the context in which I came up with this, had it not been associated with a great philosophical personality in IISc. I am sorry that I can’t share, OK?

-40% commit suicide because they are scared of life,
40% continue living because they are scared of suicide,
10% live because they think life is beautiful and worth living,
10% accept life or death or any other state as it comes.
I don't even care which category I belong to.
Date:15-01-09
Note: Statistics are arbitrary and you can put your own w,x,y,z, such that w+x+y+z = 100

Plato said: “On the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet.”
I add: “On the failure of it, an ordinary person becomes a devdas and a genius becomes a philosopher.” Date:18-01-09

A note to the readers: If you find any of the above quotes anywhere in the net, please bring it to my notice. It will only make me happier... All of us are aware that "great minds think alike" ;-)

-Cheers
Aparna

Moview Review: "A Wednesday"

2009-01-14T11:28:00.018+05:30

[Disclaimer: People who have not watched this movie, better not read this post now, as it can spoil all the fun of watching.]

Wow! What is this? Aparna and a Movie Review? Any beach has moved to Bangalore!?

Nothing is impossible. People can change often for the better. Not that “A Wedneday” is the best movie I've ever watched, but it is the time to write a movie review on one of the better lot. So, this is my primordial post on a movie.

First of all, let us have a peep into a few co-incidences related to “A Wednesday.” I impulsively decided to watch it on a Wednesday (07-01-09) with my DVD player. I was planning to put a post on the following Saturday, and for obvious reasons I posted a short post before that. Now, today-being a(nother) Wednesday- is apt for a post on its namesake movie. The biggest co-incidence is that the 26-11-2008 (Mumbai Terrorists attack day) was also a Wednesday, and the movie was released, watched and relished much before that!!! My purpose of writing the review is not to rate the movie, but to analyze it objectively. The movie conveys several messages to the responsible people.

The movie is satirical. It starts (mainly) with a scene where a man (Naseeruddin Shah) comes to a police station to give a complaint on his lost wallet. Then he goes to the rest room, leaves his bag there and leaves the place. Actually, later in the movie police would search for the bomb (upon being informed of its presence by the same man) and find it. In my view, this bomb should have got blasted and killed all those police. Call me ruthless, cold-blooded, barbarous; use whatever adjectives you love to use. The truth remains that those bunch of morons do not deserve to live. Their profession is to be vigilant and they miserably fail to notice that this man had a black bag while going inside and did not carry it while coming out. What protection can these people provide to the public?

The scenes where this man sits with his gadgets and eatables and keeps making phone calls are scary. He tells the Police Commissioner that he has kept 5 bombs in different locations of Mumbai. First he gives hint on the police-station bomb, but they successfully de-activate it. Meanwhile, he tries to use a media person for getting the information of the happenings near the bomb location, but his attempt goes futile, as the Police Commissioner was intelligent enough not to reveal any information, by giving appropriate instructions to the media. Now, look at what happened during 26/11/08 Mumbai attacks. Either the terrorists got the idea by watching this movie, or the police were so doltish not to use their damned head, or both, due to which the forces behind the perpetration could watch every detail of the spot and give ingenious instructions to the criminals. When will our country learn to make use of its talent in any form in constructive way?

Next, he asks to release 4 notorious terrorists, who have been guests of Indian jails since a long time. In return, he offers to tell the Police the other 4 bomb locations. What happens after that, to use the least interesting word is, “interesting”. The best part of the movie is the moment of realization that this man (Shah) is really not a terrorist at all, instead he is a terrorist for terrorists. He had artfully kept a bomb to kill the 4. At the end, 3 terrorists die like common men die in a bomb blast and the last one in police's hand. The media cleverly creates its own story, that these terrorists tried to escape and got killed in the encounter, to aid the man to escape from the law. There are a few more memorable people/instants:

A cute 'chocolate hero' (ethical hacker) to play the role similar to that of Sunny Vaghela (This 'hero' in between talks to his girlfriend, which irritates the Commissioner.) The 'hero' is supposed to find the place where the man is making the calls.

The touching and motivating lecture given by “the common man” (as Shah calls himself), without mentioning his name, religion, native land. He says he got inspired to do all this because of the past train blast in Mumbai. When Commissioner asks him whether any of his relative died in that, the man's reply is too good. “Why? Should I have waited for that? Yes, there was one, in fact there were many of my people there. One boy had just got engaged.....”. Now, wait a second, I do not understand why and how can people discriminate as “their” and “other” people. (Bear with a bit of digression.) I can only differentiate between people with whom I can mentally “connect” easily and with whom I can't. For example, I can spend 5 hrs with a girl whom I've first met and had known through an article, or 1 hr on phone with a guy whom I've never seen, (worse, in the place of his face, I've seen a cold blooded criminal ) and hardly had known for a week, if the discussion is interesting enough. I can't talk to a few of my very close relatives of my age itself. Hence I can not understand the attitude of someone being 'mine' and 'not mine'. We are born alone, we die alone, aren't we living alone? Who belongs to whom? Either we can consider whole world to be ours or none. A law student had innocently asked me a few days back, “Is it not wrong to take law into hands? Is it not what naxalites do?” I think this movie answers her question. The frustrated, stupid, goddamn common man is forced to take law into his hands to save this country. When a “rational” human being knows what he is doing, what is wrong in doint it? Why can't we think a bit laterally? The field of criminal psychology is (if not, must become) advanced enough to distinguish between crazy and sensible criminals. In Shreemadbhagavadgeetha, it is said, “Yadaa yadaa hi dharmasya ..... Sambhavaami yuge yuge” What does this mean? If we keep waiting that a messiah will be sent by God to eradicate all our troubles, which is equivalent to hoping that the next government might solve our problems, there's no more stupidity than that. Our Dharma makes rooms for changes. If we believe in mythology, we can see that the rules by which people lived in the era of Ramayana and that of Mahabharatha are different. Similarly, we can adapt it as per the needs of today.

The way everyone tries to help the man finally is impressive. The hacker who said earlier, “Sir, he is good, but he isn't the best, I can tell you where he's calling from, in the next call”, just turns his statement, saying “I was wrong”. The Commissioner is too shrewd to believe him and goes to the address given by the hacker. For a little while, I thought he will kill the man.

The instant when the man says to the Commissioner that he has not kept bombs anywhere else (other than 2 locations) and the Commissioner replies with a crisp “I know.”

Those moments of the movie which have portrayed Mr. Chief Minister as an idiot.

The very last moment: the man and the Commissioner shake hands.

Hey, Some Good News

2009-01-08T11:04:00.006+05:30

Hello Friends,

You might remember a post during Deepavali (must be in October 2008 archive) on one of my being patents granted. Well, the other patent is also granted and you can find them here and here. These are the only two patents I have so far and they are co-invented with two of my colleagues of Ittiam Systems, where I worked for four years (2002-2006).

Regards
Aparna

ಹೊಸವರ್ಷದ ಕೊಡುಗೆ: ಷಡಕ್ಷರಿ ಮಂತ್ರಗಳೂ, ಭಟ್ಟರ ಮಾತುಗಳೂ, ಅಪರ್ಣಾದೇವಿಯ ವಚನಗಳೂ....

2009-01-03T18:48:00.004+05:30

ನನ್ನೆಲ್ಲ ಬ್ಲಾಗ್ ಬಾಂಧವರಿಗೆ ಹೊಸ ಕ್ಯಾಲೆಂಡರ್ ವರ್ಷದ ಶುಭಾಶಯಗಳು. ಇದೇನು? ಭಾರತೀಯರಿಗೆ/ಹಿಂದುಗಳಿಗೆ ಹೊಸವರ್ಷವೆಂದೇ ಎಂದು ಹುಬ್ಬೇರಿಸಬೇಡಿ, ದಯವಿಟ್ಟು. ನಮ್ಮದು ಹಿಂದೂ ಧರ್ಮವಲ್ಲ; ಇಂಡಿಯಾ ಎನ್ನುವುದು ಹೇಗೆ ಅನ್ಯರಿಟ್ಟ ನಾಮವೋ ಅಂತೆಯೇ ಈ "ಹಿಂದೂ" ಕೂಡಾ. "ಸಿಂಧೂ" ಎಂಬುದರ ಅಪಭ್ರಂಶವಿದು. ನಮ್ಮ ಧರ್ಮ ತೀರ ಹಳೆಯದು, ಆದ್ದರಿಂದಲೇ ಸನಾತನಧರ್ಮವೆಂದೂ, ವೇದಗಳ ಮೇಲಾಧಾರಿತವಾದ್ದರಿಂದ ವೈದಿಕಧರ್ಮವೆಂದೂ ಕರೆಯುವುದು ಹೆಚ್ಚು ಸೂಕ್ತ. ಆದು ನಮ್ಮ, ನಿಮ್ಮ ಸೊತ್ತು ಮಾತ್ರವಲ್ಲ, ವಿಶ್ವಧರ್ಮ. ಇದೇನಪ್ಪಾ, ಶೀರ್ಷಿಕೆಗೂ, ಮೊದಲನೇ ಪ್ಯಾರಾಗೂ ತಾಳ-ಮೇಳವಿಲ್ಲವೆಂದುಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತಿದ್ದೀರಾ? ಹಾಗೇನಿಲ್ಲ, ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ತಾಳಿ. ನಮ್ಮದು ವಿಶ್ವಧರ್ಮವಾದ್ದರಿಂದ ವಿಶ್ವದ ಎಲ್ಲ ಸದಾಚರಣೆಗಳನ್ನು ಎರವಲು ಪಡೆದುಕೊಳ್ಳುವುದರಲ್ಲಿ ತಪ್ಪೇನಿದೆ? ಪಕ್ಕದ ಮನೆಯ ಪುಟ್ಟ ಝೀಶಾನ್-ಗೆ ರಮ್ಝಾನ್ ಸಮಯದಲ್ಲಿ, ಎದುರು ಮನೆ ರೋಸಿಗೆ ಕ್ರಿಸ್ಮಸ್-ಗೆ ಹಾರೈಸುತ್ತೇವೆ, ಹಾಗೂ ನಮ್ಮನೆಗೂ ಹಬ್ಬಕ್ಕೆ ಕರೆಯುತ್ತೇವೆ. ಆದ್ದರಿಂದ ಯುಗಾದಿಯಷ್ಟೇ ಸಂಭ್ರಮದಿಂದ ಕ್ಯಾಲೆಂಡರ್ ಹೊಸವರ್ಷವನ್ನೂ ಆಚರಿಸುತ್ತೇವೆ. ಇಷ್ಟೆಲ್ಲ ಏಕೆ ಹೇಳಬೇಕಾಯಿತೆಂದರೆ, ಮುಂದೆ ನಿಮಗೊಪ್ಪಿಸಲಿರುವ ಷಡಕ್ಷರಿ ಬೀಜಮಂತ್ರಗಳು ಮತ್ತು "ವಿಶ್ವ"ಭಟ್ಟರ ನೂರೆಂಟು ಮಾತುಗಳು ಹೊಸವರ್ಷದ ಸಲುವಾಗಿ ಜನವರಿ ೧ ರ ವಿಜಯ ಕರ್ನಾಟಕ (ವಿ.ಕ.) ದಿನಪತ್ರಿಕೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಬಂದಿದ್ದು.

ವಿ.ಕ. ಸಮಸ್ತ ಕನ್ನಡಿಗರ ಹೆಮ್ಮೆ. ನಾನಂತೂ ಅದನ್ನು ಪ್ರಥಮ ಸಂಚಿಕೆಯಿಂದಲೇ ಓದುತ್ತಿದ್ದೇನೆ. ಈಗಲೇ ಹೇಳಿಬಿಡುತ್ತೇನೆ, ಯಾವ ದಿನಾಂಕವನ್ನೂ ನಿಖರವಾಗಿ ನೆನಪಿಟ್ಟುಕೊಂಡಿಲ್ಲ. ಆದರೆ ನಾನಿಲ್ಲಿಟ್ಟಿರುವ ಮಾಹಿತಿಯೆಲ್ಲವೂ ನಂಬಲರ್ಹವಾದದ್ದು. ನನ್ನ ಪ್ರೀತಿಯ ಪುಟ ಸಂಪಾದಕೀಯ ಪುಟ; ಆಮೇಲಿಂದು ಕರಾವಳಿ ಯಾ ಬೆಂಗಳೂರು ವಿಜಯ (ಮುಖ್ಯವಾಗಿ ಸಿಂಪ್ಲಿಸಿಟಿ ಪೇಜ್), ಅನಂತರ ಮಹಿಳಾ ವಿಜಯ, ಶಿಕ್ಷಣ ವಿಜಯ ಇತ್ಯಾದಿ. ಡುಂಡಿರಾಜ್ ಅವರ ಮಾತು-ಕ(ವಿ)ತೆ ಮೌನಕ್ಕೆ ಶರಣಾದಾಗ, "ನಮ್ಮ" ಸಿಂಹ (ಅಂಕಣದ ಹೆಸರು "ನಿಮ್ಮ ಸಿಮ್ಮ") "ಗುಹೆ"ಯಲ್ಲಿ (ಅವರ ಮನೆ ಹೆಸರು "ಗುಹೆ") ಗೊರಕೆ ಹೊಡೆಯಲು ಶುರು ಹಚ್ಚಿದಾಗ ಕಳವಳದಿಂದ ಎಷ್ಟು ನಿಟ್ಟುಸಿರಿಟ್ಟೆನೆಂದು ನನಗಷ್ಟೇ ಗೊತ್ತು. ಬಾಲ್ಕನಿಯಿಂದ ಪ್ರತೀ ಮಂಗಳವಾರ ಇಣುಕುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ಸಹಜಾ, ಅವಳ ಗೆಳತಿ ಚವತಿ ಎಲ್ಲಿ ಮರೆಯಾದರೋ ನಾ ಕಾಣೆ. "ಬತ್ತದ ತೆನೆ"ಯನ್ನೂ "ಸ್ವಾಮಿ ಅನಾಮಧೇಯಪೂರ್ಣ"ರು ತಮ್ಮೊಂದಿಗೆ ವಲಸೆ ಒಯ್ದರೆಂದೆನಿಸುತ್ತದೆ. ಅಯ್ಯೋ, ಎರಡನೇ ಪ್ಯಾರಾದಲ್ಲೂ ಸುಮ್ಮನೇ ಬುಶ್ ಅನ್ನು ಬೀಟ್ ಮಾಡ್ತಿದೀಯಲ್ಲಾ ಎಂದು ಕೇಳ್ಬೇಡಿ. ಷಡಕ್ಷರಿ, ಭಟ್ಟರು ಮತ್ತು ಅಪರ್ಣಾದೇವಿಯ ನಡುವಿನ ಕೊಂಡಿಯಾಗಿರುವ ವಿ.ಕ. ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಒಂದೆರಡು ಮಾತಾದರೂ ಬರೆಯದಿದ್ದರೆ ಕೃತಘ್ನತೆಯ ಪರಮಾವಧಿಯಾಗುವುದಿಲ್ಲವೇ?

ಸರಿ, ಇದೀಗ ವಿಷಯಕ್ಕೆ ಬಂದರೆ, ಏನೀ ಷಡಕ್ಷರಿ ಬೀಜಮಂತ್ರಗಳು? ಜ.೧ರ ವಿ.ಕ.ದಲ್ಲಿ ಷಡಕ್ಷರಿಯವರು ಓದುಗರಿಗಾಗಿ ಪ್ರೀತಿಯಿಂದ ಕೊಟ್ಟ ಈ ೫೨ ಸೂತ್ರಗಳನ್ನು ಓದಿ.

ಮತ್ತೆ "ಫಂಡಾ ಲಿಸ್ಟಾ?" ಅಂತ ಮೂಗು ಮುರಿಯಬೇಡಿ. ಒಂದೊಂದರ ಬಗ್ಗೆಯೂ ತುಸು ಹೊತ್ತು ಯೋಚಿಸಿದರೆ, "ಹೌದಲ್ವಾ?" ಅನಿಸುತ್ತದೆ, ಅದು ನಿಮ್ಮದಾಗುತ್ತದೆ. ಇನ್ನು ಸಂದರ್ಭ ಬಂದಾಗ ಅದನ್ನು ನೆನಪಿಸಿಕೊಂಡು ಅಳವಡಿಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳುವುದಷ್ಟೇ ಬಾಕಿ.

ಷಡಕ್ಷರಿಯವರ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಅಪರ್ಣಾದೇವಿ: ನನಗೆ ಇವರ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಹೆಚ್ಚಿಗೆ ಏನೂ ಗೊತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ; ಅವರು ಶನಿವಾರ ಹೊರತಾಗಿ (‍ರವಿವಾರ ಅಂಕಣಕ್ಕೆ ರಜಾ), ದಿನಾ ಚಿಕ್ಕ, ಚೊಕ್ಕ ಬರಹಗಳನ್ನು ಬರೆಯುತ್ತಾರೆ ವಿ.ಕ.ದ ಅಂಕಣ "ಕ್ಷಣಹೊತ್ತು ಆಣಿಮುತ್ತು"ಗಾಗಿ. ಇವತ್ತಿಂದೂ ಸೇರಿ ಒಟ್ಟು ೪೬೩ ಬರಹಗಳಾಗಿವೆ. ಕೇಳಿದ, ಓದಿದ ಚಿಕ್ಕ ಘಟನೆಗಳನ್ನು ಅವುಗಳ ನೀತಿಯೊಂದಿಗೆ ಉಲ್ಲೇಖಿಸುತ್ತಾರೆ. ಇವುಗಳ ಸಂಕಲನಗಳು ಬಿಡುಗಡೆಯಾಗಿವೆ. ಪ್ರಖ್ಯಾತ ಹೋಟೆಲ್ ಗ್ರೂಪ್ "‍ರಮಣಶ್ರೀ"ಯ ಮಾಲೀಕರು! "ಟೈಮಿಲ್ಲ, ಟೈಮಿಲ್ಲ" ಎಂದು ಸದಾ ಹಲುಬುವವರಿಗೆ ಉತ್ತಮ ಮಾದರಿಯೆಂದು ನನ್ನ ಊಹೆ.

ಇನ್ನು ತಲೆಬರಹದಡಿಯ ಎರಡನೇ ವಿಷಯ ಎತ್ತಿಕೊಳ್ಳೋಣ. ಅದೃಷ್ಟಕ್ಕೆ ಈ ವರ್ಷ ಜ.೧ ಗುರುವಾರದ ಮೇಲೆ ಬಿತ್ತು. ಗುರುವಾರದ ಮುಖ್ಯ ಅಂಕಣ "ನೂರೆಂಟು ಮಾತು", ವಿ.ಕ. ಪ್ರಧಾನ ಸಂಪಾದಕ ವಿಶ್ವೇಶ್ವರ ಭಟ್ಟರದು. ಆವರ ಸಲಹೆಗಳನ್ನು ಅವರಿಂದಲೇ ಓದಿ. ಕೆಲವೊಂದಾದರೂ ಅನುಸರಿಸಬೇಕೆಂದೆನಿಸದಿದ್ದರೆ ಮತ್ತೆ ಕೇಳಿ.

ವಿಶ್ವೇಶ್ವರ ಭಟ್ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಅಪರ್ಣಾದೇವಿ: ಅಯ್ಯೋ, ನನ್ನನ್ನು ಭಟ್ಟರ ಭಟ್ಟಂಗಿ ಎಂದುಕೊಳ್ಳಬೇಡಿ. ನನ್ನ ಆಪ್ತ ಸ್ನೇಹಿತರಿಗೆಲ್ಲಾ ಗೊತ್ತಿರುವಂತೆ, ನಾನ್ಯಾರ ಭಟ್ಟಂಗಿತನ ಮಾಡುವುದೇ ಇಲ್ಲ. ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ಕಟು ಟೀಕೆ ಮಾಡುವುದೇ ಹೆಚ್ಚು. ಇದೇ ಒಕ್ಟೋಬರ್-ನಲ್ಲಿ ದಶಮಾನೋತ್ಸವ ಆಚರಿಸಿದ ವಿ.ಕ.ದ ಯಶಸ್ಸಿನ ಹಿಂದಿರುವ ಶಕ್ತಿಯ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಬರೆದರೆ ಅದು ವ್ಯಕ್ತಿಸ್ತುತಿ ಎಂಬುದರ ಬದಲು ಉತ್ತೇಜನಬರಹ ಎಂದೆನಿಸುತ್ತದೆ. ಅಲ್ಲದೆ, ನನಗೇನೂ ಅವರನ್ನು ವೈಯಕ್ತಿಕವಾಗಿ ಗೊತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ.

ಭಟ್ಟರು ಯಾವಾಗ ಸಂಪಾದಕರಾದರೆಂದುದು ನೆನಪಿಲ್ಲ, ಆದರೆ ಸುಮಾರು ೫-೬ ವರ್ಷಗಳಿಗಿಂದೀಚೆಗೆ ಅವರೇ ಸಂಪಾದಕರಾಗಿದ್ದಾರೆ. ಪ್ರಾದೇಶಿಕಭಾಷಾ ಪತ್ರಿಕೋದ್ಯಮದಲ್ಲಿ ಒಳ್ಳೆ ಹೆಸರು ಗಳಿಸಲು ಅದರದ್ದೇ ಆದ ಇತಿಮಿತಿಗಳಿವೆ. ಮುಖ್ಯವಾಗಿ ಓದುಗರ ಸಂಖ್ಯೆ. ಆದರೆ ಇವರು ಅದೆಲ್ಲವನ್ನೂ ಮೀರಿದ್ದಾರೆ, ಏಕೆಂದರೆ, ಒಮ್ಮೆ ಇವರ ಅಭಿಮಾನಿಯಾದವರು, ಹಾಗೆಯೇ ಉಳಿಯುತ್ತಾರೆ. ಪ್ರತಿಯಾಗಿ, ನನ್ನ ಬ್ಲಾಗ್ ಉದಾಹರಣೆ ತಗೊಂಡರೆ, ಓದುಗರು "ಫಸ್ಟ್ ಇನ್, ಫಸ್ಟ್ ಔಟ್" ಕ್ಯೂ ಥರ, ಬರ್ತಾರೆ, ನಾಕು ದಿನ ಒದ್ತಾರೆ, ಹೋಗ್ತಾರೆ (ಬೇಸರದಿಂದಲ್ಲ, ಇರುವ ವಿಷಯ ಹೇಳ್ತಿದೇನೆ). ಕೆಲವೊಂದು ಅಂಕಣಗಳ ಸ್ಥಿತಿಯೂ ಇದಕ್ಕಿಂತ ಭಿನ್ನವಾಗಿಲ್ಲ. ಭಟ್ಟರು ವಿ.ಕ.ಗೆ ಒಂದೆರಡಲ್ಲ, ಸದ್ಯಕ್ಕೆ ವಾರಕ್ಕೆ ೪ ಅಂಕಣ ಬರೆಯುತ್ತಾರೆ. "ವಕ್ರತುಂಡೋಕ್ತಿ" (ಪ್ರತಿ ದಿನ),"ಜನಗಳ ಮನ" (ರವಿವಾರ), "ನೂರೆಂಟು ಮಾತು" (ಗುರುವಾರ) ಮತ್ತು "ಸುದ್ದಿಮನೆ ಕತೆ" (ಶನಿವಾರ). ಇದಿಷ್ಟು ಅವರ ಹೆಸರಲ್ಲಿ. ಇನ್ನು, ಈ ಹಿಂದೆ ದಿನ ಬಿಟ್ಟು ದಿನ "ಸ್ವಾಮಿ ಅನಾಮಧೇಯ ಪೂರ್ಣ"ರೆಂಬ ಹೆಸರಿನಲ್ಲಿ "ಬತ್ತದ ತೆನೆ", ಹಾಗೆಯೇ ನನ್ನ ಊಹೆ ಸರಿಯೆಂದಾದರೆ (ಆದರೆ ಏನು, ಖಂಡಿತಾ ಹೌದು!) ವಾರಕ್ಕೊಮ್ಮೆ ೨೦ರ ಹೊಸಿಲಲ್ಲಿದ್ದ ಯುವತಿಯ ಲೇಖನಿಯಿಂದ ಬರೆಯುತ್ತಿದ್ದಂತೆ, ಈಗಲೂ ಕಾವ್ಯನಾಮದಲ್ಲಿ ಬರೆಯುತ್ತಿರಬಹುದು. ೨೦೦೨-೦೩ರ ಸಾಲಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಒಟ್ಟು ೬ ಅಂಕಣಗಳನ್ನು ಅವರೊಬ್ಬರೇ ಬರೆಯುತ್ತಿದ್ದರೆಂದು ಅಂದಾಜು. ಅದೂ ಎಲ್ಲ ವೈವಿಧ್ಯಮಯ! ಒಂದು ವಾಕ್ಯದ "ವಕ್ರತುಂಡೋಕ್ತಿ"ಯಲ್ಲಿ ಮುಖ್ಯವಾಗಿ ಹೆಂಗಸರ ಬಗ್ಗೆ, ಮದುವೆಯ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಇರುತ್ತದೆಯಾದ್ದರಿಂದ ಅದರ ಮೇಲೆ ನನ್ನದೊಂದು ಉಕ್ತಿ: "ವಕ್ರತುಂಡೋಕ್ತಿಯನ್ನು ಆನಂದಿಸಲಿಕ್ಕಾದರೂ ಗಂಡಸರು ವಿ.ಕ. ಓದಬೇಕು". ನಿಮ್ಮಲ್ಲಿ ಹೆಚ್ಚಿನವರೂ ಇಂಜಿನಿಯರ್-ಗಳು. ನಿಮಗೆ ಗೊತ್ತು, ಒಂದು ಕಂಪೆನಿಯ ಸಿ.ಇ.ಒ. ಅಥವಾ ಐ.ಐ.ಎಸ್ಸಿ, ಐ.ಐ.ಟಿಗಳಂತ ರಿಸರ್ಚ್ ಸಂಸ್ಥೆಗಳ ಪ್ರಾಚಾರ್ಯರೆಲ್ಲ ಎಷ್ಟು ಬಿಜಿ ಇರುತ್ತಾರೆ ಅಂತ. ನನ್ನ ಪ್ರಕಾರ ಪತ್ರಿಕಾ ಸಂಪಾದಕರೂ, ಅಲ್ಲಿನ ಕೆಲಸಗಾರರೂ ನಮಗಿಂತ ಎಷ್ಟೋ ಜಾಸ್ತಿ ಒತ್ತಡದಲ್ಲಿ ಕೆಲಸ ಮಾಡುತ್ತಾರೆ, ಏಕೆಂದರೆ, ಪತ್ರಿಕೆಯ ಡೆಡ್ಲೈನ್-ಗಳು ಇನ್ನೂ ಹೆಚ್ಚು ಕಟ್ಟುನಿಟ್ಟು. ಪಾಲಿಸದಿದ್ದರೆ ಪತ್ರಿಕೆ ಸತ್ತಂತೆಯೇ ಸರಿ. ಜವಾಬ್ದಾರಿಯುತ ಪದವಿಯಲ್ಲಿದ್ದುಕೊಂಡು, ಇಷ್ಟು ಕಡಿಮೆ ಅವಧಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಈ ವರೆಗೆ ಸುಮಾರು ೨೫ ಪುಸ್ತಕಗಳನ್ನು ಪ್ರಕಟಿಸಿದ್ದಾರೆ; ಅವುಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಕೆಲವು ಅಂಕಣ ಸಂಕಲನಗಳು, ಕೆಲವು ಅನುವಾದಗಳು, ಹಲವು ಬಯಾಗ್ರಫಿಗಳು ಮತ್ತು ಇನ್ನಿತರ. ಅವರು ಇದೆಲ್ಲಾ ತಮ್ಮ ಆಫೀಸ್-ನಲ್ಲಿ ಕೂತ್ಕೊಂಡು ಮಾಡಿದ್ದಿದ್ದರೆ ಆಶ್ಚರ್ಯವೇನಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ. ಆದರೆ, "ದೇಶ ಸುತ್ತು, ಕೋಶ ಓದು" ಎನ್ನುವುದನ್ನು ಅಕ್ಷರಶಃ ಪಾಲಿಸಿದ್ದಾರೆ. ವಿದೇಶಗಳಿಗೆ ಹೋಗಿಬಂದಾಗಲೆಲ್ಲಾ ಅನುಭವಗಳ ಚಿತ್ರಣವನ್ನು ಕೂಲಂಕುಶವಾಗಿ ಓದುಗರ ಮುಂದಿಡುವ ಪರಿಪಾಠವಿಟ್ಟುಕೊಂಡಿದ್ದಾರೆ. ಡಾ.ಕಲಾಮ್-ರು ರಾಷ್ಟ್ರಪತಿಯಾಗಿದ್ದಾಗ ಅವರ ಜೊತೆ ಹದಿನೈದು ದಿನ ನಾಲ್ಕು ದೇಶ ಸುತ್ತಿದ್ದರು. ಒಮ್ಮೆ ಇವರ ಪುಸ್ತಕಪ್ರೀತಿಗೆ ಮಾರುಹೋದ ಸಹೃದಯೀ ಓದುಗರೊಬ್ಬರು ಅಮೂಲ್ಯವಾದ ಹಳೆಯ ಪುಸ್ತಕಗಳನ್ನು ಕೊರಿಯರ್ ಮಾಡಿದ್ದನ್ನು "ಜನಗಳ ಮನ"ದಲ್ಲಿ ಬರೆದಿದ್ದರು.

ಪತ್ರಿಕೆಯ ಪಾಲಿಸಿಯನ್ನು ಗಮನಿಸುತ್ತಾ ಬಂದಿದ್ದೇನೆ. ಟೈಮ್ಸ್ ಗ್ರೂಪ್ ವಿ.ಕ.ವನ್ನು ವಶಕ್ಕೆ ತಗೊಂಡಾಗ ಎಲ್ಲಿ ಗುಣಮಟ್ಟ ಕಡಿಮೆಯಾಗುವುದೋ ಎಂಬ ಆತಂಕವಿತ್ತು. ಎರಡು ವರ್ಷದ ಮೇಲಾಯ್ತು ಅದಾಗಿ, ಆದರೂ ಪತ್ರಿಕೆಯ ವರ್ಚಸ್ಸು ಬೆಳೆಯುತ್ತಲೇ ಹೋದ್ದಕ್ಕೆ ಇವರ ಎದೆಗಾರಿಕೆಯೇ ಮುಖ್ಯ ಕಾರಣವಲ್ಲವೇ? ನಂ ೧ ದಿನಪತ್ರಿಕೆ ಎಂಬ ಅಗ್ಗಳಿಕೆ ಸುಮ್ಮನೆ ಸಿಗುತ್ತದೆಯೆ? ಎಂತಹ ಮೊಂಡು, ಮೂಡಿ ಪತ್ರಕರ್ತರ ಕೈನಲ್ಲೂ ಬೇಕಾದಂತೆ ಕೆಲಸ ಮಾಡಿಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳುವ ಛಾತಿ, ಜಾಣ್ಮೆ ಎಲ್ಲಾ ಇವೆ ಅನ್ನಿಸುತ್ತದೆ. ನಮ್ಮನ್ನು ಸಮಯಕ್ಕೆ ಸರಿಯಾಗಿ ಹೊಂದಿಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳುವುದು ಹೇಗೆಂದು ಇವರಿಂದ ಕಲಿಯಬಹುದು. ಟೈಮ್ ಮ್ಯಾನೇಜ್-ಮೆಂಟ್, ಪೀಪ್ಲ್ ಮ್ಯಾನೇಜ್-ಮೆಂಟ್ ಎಲ್ಲಾ "ವೃಷಭ ವಿಸರ್ಜಿತ" (ಪದ ಸೌಜನ್ಯ: ವಿ.ಕ.ದ ರವಿವಾರದ ಅಂಕಣ ಪರಾಗ ಸ್ಪರ್ಶದಲ್ಲಿ ಶ್ರೀವತ್ಸ ಜೋಶಿ) ಅಷ್ಟೇ. ವಿಶ್ವೇಶ್ವರ ಭಟ್ಟರ ಲೇಖನಗಳಿಂದ ವ್ಯಕ್ತವಾಗುವಂತೆ, ಅವರೊಬ್ಬ ಪ್ರಾಕ್ಟಿಕಲ್ ಅಜಾತಶತ್ರು. (ಹೊಟ್ಟೆಕಿಚ್ಚಿನಿಂದ ಅವರ ವಿರುದ್ಧ ಬರೆಯುವವರನ್ನು ಶತ್ರುಗಳೆಂದು ಲೆಕ್ಕ ಹಾಕಬಾರದು.) ಅವರಿಗಾಗಿ ಒಂದು ವಿಕಿಪೀಡಿಯ ಎಂಟ್ರಿ ಇಲ್ಲ, ಅವರು ತಮ್ಮದೊಂದು ವೆಬ್-ಸೈಟ್ ಇಟ್ಕೊಂಡಿಲ್ಲ, ಓರ್ಕಟ್ ಪ್ರೊಫ಼ೈಲ್ "ಇದು ಇವ್ರದಾ?" ಅನ್ಸೋ ಥರ ಇದೆ.

ಇಷ್ಟೆಲ್ಲಾ ಹೇಳಿದ ಮೇಲೆ, ಅವರ ವಿದ್ಯಾಭ್ಯಾಸ ಇತ್ಯಾದಿ ವಿವರಗಳನ್ನು ಕೊಡದಿದ್ದರೆ ಈ ಬ್ಲಾಗ್ ಅಪೂರ್ಣವೆನಿಸುತ್ತದೆ. ಎಂ.ಎಸ್ಸಿ., ಎಂ.ಎ. (೪ ಚಿನ್ನದ ಪದಕದೊಂದಿಗೆ) ಮಾಡಿ, ಇಂಗ್ಲೆಂಡಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಪತ್ರಿಕೋದ್ಯಮದಲ್ಲಿ ಉನ್ನತ ವ್ಯಾಸಂಗ ಮಾಡಿದ್ದಾರೆ. ಏಷಿಯನ್ ಕಾಲೇಜ್ ಆಫ್ ಜರ್ನಲಿಸಂ-ನಲ್ಲಿ ಅಸಿಸ್ಟೆಂಟ್ ಪ್ರೊಫೆಸರ್ ಆಗಿ ಕೆಲಸ ಮಾಡಿದ್ದಾರೆ. ಕನ್ನಡಪ್ರಭ ಮತ್ತು ಸಂಯುಕ್ತ-ಕರ್ನಾಟಕದಲ್ಲೂ ಕೆಲಸ ಮಾಡಿದ್ದಾರೆ. ಇವರ ಸಾಧನೆಗಳಿಗೆ ಸಂದ ಅತ್ಯುನ್ನತ ಗೌರವವೆಂದರೆ ೨೦೦೫ರ (ಸುವರ್ಣ ಕರ್ನಾಟಕ) ರಾಜ್ಯೋತ್ಸವ ಪ್ರಶಸ್ತಿ.

ನಮ್ಮ ಸಮಾಜದಲ್ಲಿ ಹಲವರ ಮನಸ್ಸಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಪತ್ರಿಕೋದ್ಯಮದ ಬಗ್ಗೆ, ಪತ್ರಿಕೋದ್ಯಮಿಗಳ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಸದಭಿಪ್ರಾಯವಿಲ್ಲ. ಏಕೋ ಗೊತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ. ಆದರೆ ವಿಶ್ವೇಶ್ವರಭಟ್ಟರಿಂದ ನಾವು ಕಲಿಯುವುದು ಸಾಕಷ್ಟಿದೆಯೆಂದೆನಿಸಿತು.

My quotes

2008-12-31T21:30:00.003+05:30

These are a few quotes I came up with in December 08..Thought of documenting it time to time.

I do not know whether I believe in what I write or I write about what I believe (Adhoc) - date 6.12.08

Feelings are different, Actions are different and the Reality is indifferent to both of these (Abstract, subject to interpretations) - date 6.12.08
If my trust breaks, I'll blame only myself for placing it on a wrong person. (Experience) - date 10.12.08

Professors and project managers have uncanny talent for making simple things intricate. (Experience) - date 24.12.08
If I am forced to choose between wisdom and love I'd choose the latter (A thought) - date 28.12.08
(The meaning of the last quote should not be applied to materialistic "wisdom" and materialistic "love")

With that, bye bye 2008..

2 Short Stories and (counter) illustrations

2008-12-27T10:40:00.004+05:30

Many of you who have read Kannada story books in childhood would have heard Tenaali Rama's name. He was a (the, you can say) shrewd joker-cum-minister in Vijayanagara(Today's Hampi)'s Krishnadevaraya's court.

Once the King gave everyone in his court a cat and a cow to provide milk for the cat.He announced a competition like this: after one month whichever cat is the fattest would get a big prize. Tenaali Rama found it stupid and thought of an idea. On the first day, he gave very hot milk to the cat and the cat's tongue got burnt, which got healed in a few days alright, but the memory of it lingered in its head. Due to this bad memory, it never drank milk again and became lanky. All the milk was used by Rama to make money. So, on the day of prize announcement, he demonstrated that his cat never drank milk and it is unfair to judge him on par with everyone. He got the prize.

We have all laughed reading this, but shall we go a bit deeper? The cat, once being cheated into believing that all white looking liquids were burning, it could hardly identify a genuine cold milk again in its life. As long as there are such cats, which may be thinking that they are being smart by not trusting in people, there are people like Tenaali Rama, who can outsmart them, using their paranoia for their own benefit, the cats may not even realize it! What cat is loses is sweetness of the milk and what such people lose is grace of humanity....

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This is a story which is a counter-example to the above.
I "know" a "strange" girl. I call her strange because, I've known her for as long as I can remember and whenever I think I know her, I come to believe that I do not know her. If I were her, I would have lost belief in everything, but she still lives and lives with her own beliefs and convictions!

To tell her long story briefly, she was an abandoned child by her parents; she came to our neighborhood to her grandmother's place. She was abused by her uncles, scorned at by the entire villagers, despite being nice to them. Her only crime was being an orphan. Somehow, people did not like the "tone" of her speech; they thought her to be arrogant at the first sight. She was very caring, passionate, affectionate, helpful and much more. I liked her, forget it, I loved her. She was excellent at Maths. She used to teach us everything she knew in our first standard, since first and fourth standard teachers were same and the teacher did not have time. In fifth standard a new male teacher joined our school and he hated her, because she understood something about him, which none of us knew. She was ill-treated everywhere, but she never lost faith in what she believed (what is that 'belief', she only knows, because I never understood her philosophy and she was not the kind who believed in God). They say, childhood experiences are the ones who shape a person, just like the primeval experience of Rama's cat with the milk. Even today, after getting a PhD in psychotherapy and being a full time psychologist, she's still a mystery to me; amazing character, I must say!

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Don't remember whether this is a Chinese or Zen or Osho story, that's not important anyway. It is real or fiction, that also is not known. The story goes like this:

There is a well grown green tree. A person lives in a hut nearby. He is not having a particularly good time nowadays. Business has gone down. Every morning, he goes for a walk, stands near the tree and lets out all his frustrations. He even goes to the extent of reproaching the tree for all his miseries. He does not notice any changes in the tree, but yes, he feels a strange relief after sharing his desperation. After about a year, the green tree has no leaves and it's almost dead. He never comes to know why. Do you know by any chance?

Might sound funny, but many scientists too believe that trees too have hearts, minds etc. No one and nothing can live for long after getting bombarded with negative energy constantly.

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This is a counter-illustration:

The river Bhaagirathi, which originates at Gangothri Glacier, a vast expanse of ice, five miles by fifteen, at the foothills of the Himalayas (14000 ft) in North U.P. and joins river Alakananda to form the river Ganga at the craggy canyon-carved town of Devprayaag. The Ganga has an exalted position in the Hindu ethos. It is repeatedly invoked in the Vedas, the Puranas, and the two Indian epics, the Ramayana and the Mahabharata. Ganga Devi is supposed to be the daughter of the Himaalayaas and the consort of Lord Shiva. Bhagiratha is supposed to have got her to the earth through his penance, to get liberation to his ancestors.

This Ganga is polluted by majorly by leather industries, especially near Kanpur, which use large amounts of Chromium and other chemicals. Sheer volume of waste - estimated at nearly 1 billion litres per day - of mostly untreated raw sewage - is also a significant factor. Also, inadequate cremation procedures contributes to a large number of partially burnt or unburnt corpses floating down the Ganga, not to mention livestock corpses.

Even then, in the minds of people, Ganga is "Paavana Ganga". Not only from all over India, but from all over the world, people come to Haridwaar and worship the river. She is supposed to be "Paapanaashini", meaning "the one who destroys sins". The logic of the educated mind on "How can a polluted water create soothing effect on mind?" does not work with Ganga and most people. In spite of all the pollutants being added, Ganga continues to flow like she has ever been flowing and joins Bay of Bengal finally and draws respects from people.

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Saturday morning, felt like sharing what just came to mind..Both the stories have a bit (or quite a lot of?) correlation too!

"ಭಜ ಗೋವಿಂದಂ" - ಒಂದು ಜಿಜ್ಞಾಸೆ

2008-12-10T12:33:00.003+05:30

ಮಹಾ ಗುರುಗಳಾದ ಶ್ರೀ ಆದಿ ಶಂಕರಾಚಾರ್ಯರ "ಭಜ ಗೋವಿಂದಂ" ಶ್ಲೋಕಗಳನ್ನು , ಅಥವಾ ಕಡೇ ಪಕ್ಷ ಅವುಗಳ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಕೇಳದವರು ಪ್ರಾಯಶಃ ಇರಲಿಕ್ಕಿಲ್ಲ. ಹತ್ತು - ಹನ್ನೆರಡು ವರ್ಷಗಳ ಹಿಂದೆ ಪ್ರಥಮ ಪಿ.ಯು.ಸಿ.ಯ ಸಂಸ್ಕೃತಪಠ್ಯದಲ್ಲಿ ಕೆಲವು ಶ್ಲೋಕಗಳಿದ್ದವು. ಅವುಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಮೊದಲನೆ ಶ್ಲೋಕ ಇಂತಿದೆ,

ಭಜ ಗೋವಿಂದಂ ಭಜ ಗೋವಿಂದಂ, ಭಜ ಗೋವಿಂದಂ ಮೂಢಮತೇ |
ಸಂಪ್ರಾಪ್ತೇ ಸನ್ನಿಹಿತೇ ಕಾಲೇ ನ ಹಿ ನ ಹಿ ರಕ್ಷತಿ ಡ್ ಖೃಙ್ಕರಣೇ ||

(ಎಲ್ಲರೂ ಹೇಳುವ ಪ್ರಕಾರ) ಇದರ ತಾತ್ಪರ್ಯವೇನೆಂದರೆ, "ಹೇ ಮಂದಬುದ್ಧಿಯವನೆ, ಕೃಷ್ಣನನ್ನು ಭಜಿಸು, ಕೃಷ್ಣನನ್ನು ಭಜಿಸು, ಕೃಷ್ಣನನ್ನು ಭಜಿಸು. ಮರಣಕಾಲ ಹತ್ತಿರ ಬಂದಾಗ ಈ ನಿನ್ನ ವ್ಯಾಕರಣ ಸೂತ್ರಗಳು ನಿನ್ನನ್ನು ಕಾಪಾಡಲಾರವು."

ಹೀಗೆ ಅರ್ಥ ಮಾಡಿಕೊಳ್ಳಲು ಬಲವಾದ ಕಾರಣವೂ ಇದೆ. ಅದೇನೆಂದರೆ, ಈ ಶ್ಲೋಕಗುಚ್ಛವು ಉದಯವಾಯಿಂತೆಂದು ನಂಬಲಾದ ಸಂದರ್ಭ.

ಶ್ರೀ ಶಂಕರರು ಕಾಶಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ಕಾಲ ವಾಸವಿದ್ದರು. ಆಗ ಅವರು ಒಬ್ಬ ವೃದ್ಧರು ಪಾಣಿನಿ ಸೂತ್ರಗಳನ್ನು ಬಾಯಿಪಾಠ ಮಾಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದುದನ್ನು ಕಂಡರಂತೆ. ಅವರು ಆ ವಯಸ್ಸಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಅಧ್ಯಾತ್ಮದ ಬದಲಾಗಿ ಬುದ್ಧಿಯ ಮೇಲೆ ಶಕ್ತಿ ವ್ಯಯಿಸುವುದನ್ನು ಕಂಡು ಶಂಕರರಿಗೆ ಅಯ್ಯೋ ಅನ್ನಿಸಿತಂತೆ. ಅಂತೆಯೇ, ಬಹುಪಾಲು ಪ್ರಪಂಚವು ತನ್ನ ಸಮಯವನ್ನು ಇಂದ್ರಿಯ ಸುಖಗಳಲ್ಲೋ, ಅರ್ಥ ಸಂಪಾದನೆಯಲ್ಲೋ, ಬುದ್ಧಿವಂತಿಕೆ ಹೆಚ್ಚಿಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳುವದರಲ್ಲೋ ಕಳೆಯುತ್ತದೆಂಬುದು ಅರಿವಾಗಿ, ಈ ಶ್ಲೋಕಗಳು ಅವರ ಮುಖದಿಂದ ಹೊರಬಿದ್ದುವಂತೆ.

ಕಥೆ ಕೇಳಲು ಚೆನ್ನಾಗಿದೆ, ಆದರೆ ನಿಜವೋ, ಸುಳ್ಳೋ ಎಂಬುದಕ್ಕೆ ಆಧಾರವಿಲ್ಲ. ಆದ್ದರಿಂದ ನಿಜವೆಂದೇ ಒಪ್ಪೋಣ. ಇಲ್ಲಿ ಜಿಜ್ಞಾಸೆ ಏನೆಂದರೆ, ನಿರಾಕಾರ ನಿರ್ಗುಣ ರೂಪಿಯ ಆರಾಧಕರೂ, ಬ್ರಹ್ಮ ತತ್ತ್ವದ ಪ್ರತಿಪಾದಕರೂ, ಅದ್ವೈತವನ್ನು ಮಾತ್ರವೇ ನಂಬಿದ ಶ್ರೀಮದಾಚಾರ್ಯರು "ಗೋವಿಂದ" ಎಂಬ ಮೂಲಕ ಸಗುಣರೂಪೀ ಶ್ರೀಕೃಷ್ಣನನ್ನು ಭಜಿಸಲು ಹೇಳಿದರೇ ಎಂಬುದು. ಸಾಮಾನ್ಯರಿಗೆ ಉಪಕಾರವಾಗಬೇಕೆಂಬ ಹಿನ್ನೆಲೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಅವರು ದೇಶದ ನಾಲಕ್ಕು ಕಡೆ ಮಠಗಳನ್ನು ಸ್ಥಾಪಿಸಿದರು. ಯಾವತ್ತೂ ಅವರು ವಿಗ್ರಹಾರಾಧನೆ ತಪ್ಪು ಎಂದವರಲ್ಲ. ಎಲ್ಲರಿಗೂ ಅವರವರ ಮಟ್ಟಕ್ಕೆ ತಕ್ಕಂತೆ ಅಧ್ಯಾತ್ಮದ ದಾರಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ನಡೆಯುವುದಕ್ಕೆ ಮಾರ್ಗದರ್ಶನ ಮಾಡಿದವರು. ಅಂತಹವರು ಕಟ್ಟುನಿಟ್ಟಾಗಿ ಗೋವಿಂದನನ್ನು ಭಜಿಸು ಎಂಬುದಾಗಿ ಹೇಳಿದ್ದನ್ನು ನಂಬಲು ಕಷ್ಟವಾಗುತ್ತದೆ. ದೇವರು ಎಂಬ ಬದಲು, ಗೋವಿಂದ ಅರ್ಥಾತ್ ಕೃಷ್ಣನನ್ನು ಪೂಜಿಸಿದರೆ ಮಾತ್ರವೇ ಮುಕ್ತಿ ಎಂದು ಅಜ್ಞಾನಿಗಳಿಂದ ಅರ್ಥೈಸಲ್ಪಡುವ ಸಾಧ್ಯತೆ ಇತ್ತು. ಹೀಗಾಗಿ, ಜ್ಞಾನಿಗಳಾದ ಆಚಾರ್ಯರು ಅಂತಹ ಗೊಂದಲವನ್ನು ಸೃಷ್ಟಿಸಿಯಾರೇ? ಅಲ್ಲದೆ ಅವರ ಜೀವನದೊಂದಿಗೆ ಶಿವನ ಅನುಗ್ರಹವು ತುಂಬಾ ರೀತಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಮಿಳಿತವಾಗಿದೆ. ಸಂನ್ಯಾಸಪ್ರಧಾನವಾಗಿರುವ ಶ್ಲೋಕಮಾಲೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಜನಮಾನಸದಲ್ಲಿ ರಾಸಲೀಲೆಗೆ ಇನ್ನೊಂದು ಹೆಸರಾದ ಶ್ರೀಕೃಷ್ಣನ ಬದಲು ವೈರಾಗ್ಯದ ಮೂರ್ತರೂಪವಾದ ಶಿವನ ಹೆಸರನ್ನೇ ಬಳಸಬಹುದಿತ್ತಲ್ಲವೇ? ಸ್ವತಃ ಸರಸ್ವತಿದೇವಿಯೇ ಜಿಹ್ವೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ನರ್ತಿಸುತ್ತಿದ್ದಾಗ ಅದೇನೂ ಅವರಿಗೆ ಅಸಾಧ್ಯವಾಗಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ. ಹಾಗಿದ್ದರೂ ಏಕೆ ಈ "ಗೋವಿಂದ"?

ಇದಕ್ಕೆ ಮುನ್ನ ಈ ೩೧ ಶ್ಲೋಕಮಾಲೆಯ ಕೊನೆಯ ಶ್ಲೋಕವನ್ನು ಓದೋಣ.

ಗುರುಚರಣಾಂಬುಜ ನಿರ್ಭರ ಭಕ್ತಾಃ ಸಂಸಾರಾದಿಚಿರಾದ್ಭವ ಮುಕ್ತಾ- |
-ಸ್ಸೇಂದ್ರಿಯಮಾನಸನಿಯಮಾದೇವಂ ದ್ರಕ್ಹ್ಯಸಿ ನಿಜ ಹೃದಯಸ್ಥಂ ದೇವಂ ||

"ಗುರುವಿನ ಕಮಲಚರಣದ ಭಕ್ತನೇ, ನೀನು ಬೇಗನೆ ಸಂಸಾರದಿಂದ ಮುಕ್ತನಾಗು. ಇಂದ್ರಿಯನಿಗ್ರಹ ಹಾಗೂ ಮನಸ್ಸಿನ ಹತೋಟಿಯ ಮೂಲಕ ನಿನ್ನ ಹೃದಯದಲ್ಲಿರುವ ನಿಜವಾದ ದೇವರನ್ನು ನೋಡುವೆ." - ಇಂತಿದೆ ಇದರ ಭಾವಾರ್ಥ.

ಈಗ ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ನೆನಪಿಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳೋಣ; ಶ್ರೀ ಶಂಕರರ ಗುರುಗಳ ಹೆಸರೇನು? ಶ್ರೀ ಗೋವಿಂದ ಭಗವತ್ಪಾದರೆಂದು. ಪ್ರಥಮಶ್ಲೋಕದಲ್ಲಿ ಅವರು ತಮ್ಮ ಗುರುಗಳನ್ನು ಭಜಿಸುವಂತೆ ಸೂಚಿಸಿದ್ದಾರೆಂದು ಏಕೆ ಅರ್ಥ ಮಾಡಿಕೊಳ್ಳಬಾರದು? ಅದನ್ನು ಪುಷ್ಟೀಕರಿಸುವಂತೆ ಕೊನೆಯ ಶ್ಲೋಕದಲ್ಲಿ, "ಸಂಸಾರದ(ಜಗತ್ತಿನ) ನಶ್ವರತೆಯನ್ನು ತಿಳಿದು ಗುರುವಿನ ಚರಣ(ಪಾದ)ವನ್ನು ಭಕ್ತಿಯಿಂದ ಆಶ್ರಯಿಸಿ ಶಾಶ್ವತವಾದ ಆನಂದವನ್ನು (ಬ್ರಹ್ಮ, ದೇವರು) ತನ್ನೊಳಗಿನಿಂದಲೇ ಪಡೆಯಬಹುದು" ಎಂಬ ಅರ್ಥ ಬರುವುದಲ್ಲವೇ? ಅದಲ್ಲದೆ ಮೊದಲ ಶ್ಲೋಕ ಹೊರತುಪಡಿಸಿ ಕೃಷ್ಣನ ಹೆಸರು(ಮುರಾರಿ) ಬರುವುದು ೨೧ನೆಯ ಶ್ಲೋಕದಲ್ಲಿ ಮಾತ್ರ, ಅದೂ ಪ್ರಾಸಬದ್ಧವಾಗಿರುವದರಿಂದ, ಆ ಆಧಾರದ ಮೇಲೆ ಮೊದಲ ಶ್ಲೋಕದ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಯಾವ ರೀತಿಯ ತೀರ್ಮಾನವನ್ನೂ ಮಾಡಲಾಗುವುದಿಲ್ಲ.ಅಲ್ಲದೆ ಆ ಶ್ಲೋಕವನ್ನು ಸೂಕ್ಷ್ಮವಾಗಿ ಗಮನಿಸಿದರೆ ತಿಳಿಯುತ್ತದೆ, ಕೃಷ್ಣನ ಹೆಸರು ಸಂದರ್ಭೋಚಿತವಾಗಿ ಲೋಕಪಾಲನೆಂಬ ಅರ್ಥದಲ್ಲಿ ಬಂದಿದೆಯೆಂದು, ಅಂದರೆ, ಅಪಾರವಾದ ಸಂಸಾರ ಸಾಗರವನ್ನು ಈಜಲು ಅವನ ಸಹಾಯ ಬೇಕು ಎಂದು. ಆದರೆ ಅವರ ಸಿದ್ಧಾಂತವೇನಿದ್ದರೂ ಬ್ರಹ್ಮತ್ವ. ಮಿಕ್ಕೆಲ್ಲಾ ಶ್ಲೋಕಗಳಲ್ಲೂ "ಬ್ರಹ್ಮ" ಶಬ್ದವು ಧಾರಾಳವಾಗಿ ಕಂಡುಬರುತ್ತದೆ ಮತ್ತು ಇದರಿಂದ ಅವರು ತಮ್ಮ ಸಿದ್ಧಾಂತವನ್ನು ಸಾಮಾನ್ಯರಿಗೆ ಸರಳ ಸಂಸ್ಕೃತದಲ್ಲಿ ಸಂಕ್ಷಿಪ್ತವಾಗಿ ತಿಳಿಸುವ ಪ್ರಯತ್ನ ಮಾಡಿದ್ದಾರೆ ಎಂದೆನಿಸುತ್ತದೆ. ಧ್ಯಾನದಲ್ಲಿ ಒಂದು ಮಟ್ಟವನ್ನು ತಲುಪುವವರೆಗೆ ಗುರುವಿನ ಮೇಲೆ ಅವಲಂಬಿತರಾಗಿರುವುದೂ ಅದರ ಒಂದು ಭಾಗ. ಆದ್ದರಿಂದಲೇ ಅವರು, "ಈ ಎಲ್ಲ ಪ್ರಾಪಂಚಿಕ ವಿಷಯಗಳನ್ನು ತ್ಯಜಿಸಿ, ಒಬ್ಬ ಯೋಗ್ಯ ಗುರುವನ್ನು ಹುಡುಕಿ ಬ್ರಹ್ಮನನ್ನು ಹೊಂದುವ ದಾರಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಸಾಗು" ಎಂದು ಉಪದೇಶಿಸಿದ್ದಾರೆಯೋ ಎಂದೆನಿಸುತ್ತದೆ. ಸಾಮಾನ್ಯಜನರಿಗೆ ಗುರುವಿನ ಹೊರತಾಗಿ ಅಧ್ಯಾತ್ಮದೆಡೆಗೆ ಸಾಗುವುದು ತುಂಬಾ ಕಷ್ಟ. ತಮ್ಮ ಗುರುಗಳ ಮೇಲಿನ ಗೌರವದಿಂದ ಅವರು "ಗುರು" ಎಂಬರ್ಥದಲ್ಲಿ "ಗೋವಿಂದ" ಎಂಬುದನ್ನು ಬಳಸಿರಬಹುದಲ್ಲವೇ?

ಇದೀಗ ಕಾಶಿಯ ವೃದ್ಧರ ಕಥೆ ಸುಳ್ಳಾಗಿದ್ದರೆ ಎಂಬ ವಿಷಯಕ್ಕೆ ಬಂದರೆ, ಅಲ್ಲೂ ಇದೇ ವಾದವನ್ನು ಮಂಡಿಸಬಹುದು. ಈ ಶ್ಲೋಕಾವಳಿಯನ್ನವರು ತಮ್ಮ ಸಹಪಾಠಿಗಳಿಗಾಗಿ ರಚಿಸಿರಬಹುದು. ಮಾಧವೀಯ ಶಂಕರವಿಜಯದಲ್ಲಿರುವ ಪ್ರಕಾರ, ಅವರು ಉಳಿದವರಿಗಿಂತ ತುಂಬಾ ಮುಂದಿದ್ದರು ಕಲಿಯುವಿಕೆಯಲ್ಲಿ, ಜ್ಞಾನದಲ್ಲಿ. ಆದ್ದರಿಂದ ಸ್ವಾಭಾವಿಕವಾಗಿಯೇ ಸಹಪಾಠಿಗಳಿಗೆ ತಿಳಿಹೇಳುವಷ್ಟು ವರ್ಚಸ್ಸನ್ನು ಬೆಳೆಸಿಕೊಂಡಿರಬಾರದೇಕೆ? ಈಗ "ಗೋವಿಂದ" = "ಗುರು" ಎಂಬುದು ಇನ್ನೂ ಹೆಚ್ಚು ಅರ್ಥಪೂರ್ಣವೆನಿಸುತ್ತದೆಯಲ್ಲವೇ?

ಕೊನೆಯದಾಗಿ ಹೇಳಬಯಸುವುದೇನೆಂದರೆ, ಇಂತಹ ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆಗಳು "ಭಜ ಗೋವಿಂದಂ"ನಲ್ಲಷ್ಟೇ ಅಲ್ಲ, ಇನ್ನೂ ಎಷ್ಟೋ (ಸಂಸ್ಕೃತ) ಕೃತಿಗಳನ್ನೋದಿದಾಗಲೂ ಏಳಬಹುದು. ಆಗೆಲ್ಲ ಹಳೆಯ ಟಿಪ್ಪಣಿಗಳಿಗೆ ಮೊರೆಯಿಡುವುದು ಸಾಧುವೆನಿಸದು. ಪರಂಪರಾನುಗತವಾಗಿ ಬಂದಿರುವ ಟಿಪ್ಪಣಿಗಳು ಸತ್ಯವಾಗಿರಲೇಬೇಕೆಂದೇನಿಲ್ಲ. ಆದರೆ ಅವು ಸುಳ್ಳೆಂತಲೂ ಹೇಳುವುದಕ್ಕೆ ಆಧಾರಗಳಿರುವುದಿಲ್ಲ. ಇಂತಿರುವಾಗ, ಶ್ರೀಮಂತವಾದ ಗೀರ್ವಾಣವಾಣಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ವಿರಚಿತವಾದ ಕೃತಿಗಳನ್ನು ಭಾಷೆ ತಕ್ಕಮಟ್ಟಿಗೆ ಗೊತ್ತಿದ್ದರೂ ಸಾಕು, ಮೂಲರೂಪದಲ್ಲಿ ಓದೋಣ; ಅಷ್ಟೇ ಅಲ್ಲ ಆಳವಾಗಿ ಯೋಚಿಸಿ ನಾವೇ ಆರ್ಥ ಹುಡುಕೋಣ. ದ್ವಂದ್ವಾರ್ಥ ಕೊಡುವ ವಿಷಯಗಳನ್ನು ಪ್ರಶ್ನಾರೂಪದಲ್ಲಿ ಪಂಡಿತರ ಮುಂದಿಡೋಣ. ಇದರಿಂದ ಸಾಹಿತ್ಯ, ಇತಿಹಾಸ ಹಾಗೂ ಭಾಷಾಜ್ಞಾನಗಳು ನಿಂತ ನೀರಿನಂತಾಗುವುದನ್ನು ತಪ್ಪಿಸಬಹುದಲ್ಲವೇ?

A Rare picture!

2008-12-02T15:13:00.004+05:30

This week I could not think of any topic to write on....Hence uploading a picture, for Kannada readers. Guess who is this?? Not a terrorist of course! I have already given a hint, hence must be easier to guess.

Got it in one of the museums of a famous tourism places in Karnataka..

Enjoy..

God had taken away his eyes at early age, but given him much more!!

2008-11-24T15:27:00.000+05:30

A classical music concert usually goes on for about 3 hours; and most of us know that it is not a one man show but team-work. Every artist is important and synchronization is most important. When neraval or swara-prastara is going on, the artists need to be very careful on maintaining the Taalas because they will be playing alternatively or in a sequence(in case where there are more than 2). It gets even more complicated for an instrumentalist, since his hands will not be free to keep track of Taala. Some amateur instrumentalists resort to reliable audience who could keep Taala for them. Now imagine an instrumentalist who is visually challenged doing everything and more than a normal person on stage. He is never conscious of anything, yet he never goes wrong anywhere. It is not very uncommon for very famous performers to make one or two mistakes; but this person-never! Probably if he had eyes like us, he would not have been so good? Whatever it may be, he is what he is. God has blessed him with divine eyes, which can see lot more things than we can; divine ears which are capable of listening and absorbing music; divine hands which can produce wonderful treat for us in the form of music.

Smt. Charubala Mohan realized by 1939 that world is full of darkness for her 2 year old son, Chandrashekharan. He lost his eyes following a jaundice attack. Almost at the same time she lost her husband too. But she was not daunted by that. She herself was a musician and the child's inclination towards music gave her hints as to in what direction she must take him. She was the first Guru for him, in music as well as Braille. He could read and write in Tamil, English, Samskrit and Telugu. Later he learnt vocals from Mannargudi Sambasiva Bhagavatar, Kumbakonam S. Viswanathan, Vidyala Narasimha Naidu and T. Jayammal etc. In fact, one can see that now, even at the age of 71, he has the humility of a student and keeps learning from his performances. But his reverence towards his mother is above everything and everyone. One can see the phrase "Mathru Devo Bhava" in most of his CD's.

His debut concert was on March 5th, 1949, at Thyagaraja Vidwat Samajam. In 1950, at the age of 13, he won the first prize in a violin competition conducted by the Music Academy, Madras. He is unique in his feelings towards other artists. When he accompanies, he appreciates main artist and percussionists generously. When he is the main artist, he encourages everyone with "Shahbhash, Shahbhash". He has accompanied many renowned artists like G. N. Balasubramaniam, Maharajapuram Viswanatha Iyer, Musiri Subramania Iyer, T. R. Mahalingam (flute), Madurai Mani Iyer, Chembai Vaidyanatha Bhagavathar, Madurai Somasundaram T. K. Rangachari, Ramnad Krishnan Maharajapuram Santhanam, Dr.S.Ramanathan and living legends Semmangudi Srinivasa Iyer, Balamuralikrishna. K.V.Narayaswamy and Nedanuri Krshnamurthy ,including current popular artists like T.N.Seshgopalan, T.V.Sankaranarayanan, Dr. N.Ramani.and Thiruchur Ramachandran. He gives violin concerts as well as vocal concerts. After his daughter Ms.Bharathi started giving concert, he has been giving duet concerts with her. The well-known violinist Ms.Kanyakumari is his student. He has about 30 accomplished students.

Another interesting point about his concerts is that he involves audience not just with his music but also with his sweet talking. He can speak a little bit of Kannada and he does it whenever he is in Karnataka. His respect for his fans is seen in all his performances. About 3 years ago, in Sheshadripuram it rained during his concert. Some of us went and sat around him on stage and we requested him to continue. He asked us what we wanted him to play. I grabbed the opportunity and said, "Mokhsamugalada", and the dear old man said, "Haa haa thank you, we'll make it the main item for the day". Ragalapa, krithi, neraval and swaraprastara in soulful Saramathi, it was very much suited for that evening. Another example happens to be from yesterday's concert, to which I went late due to rains. He was singing Anandabhairavi when I went and then they played "Bhuvaneshwariya". After that he asked, "Now it is the time for your request". I went near the stage and asked him to play Navagraha krithi, i.e. Suryamurthe (Sowrashtra raaga) since it was Sunday. He was intrigued with the idea and played it with so much devotion that unconsciously my hands went into Namaskara mudra (Suryamurthe Namostuthe, Sundara chayaadhipathe). To my surprise, he thanked the 'person who requested this' in public. It really touched my heart; I've never had such an experience before, never seen anyone saying it to anybody else too.

Chandrasekaran is a recipient of several honors - Sangeet Natak Akademi award (1986), Mysore Chowdiah National award (1989), Astana Vidwan of Kanchi Kamakoti Peetam (1993), Kalaimamani from the Government of Tamil Nadu, Sangeetha Choodamanii, Mathurakala Praveena, Sangeetha Kalanidhi (2005) and many more. He was a visiting faculty at the Palghat Music College.

There may be hundreds or thousands of classical musicians, but there are very few who are with some disability. Among them there may be very very few who are very distinguished. Out of those, if we try to pick artists who are humble, spread devotion and love with their music, currently we will think of only one name, i.e. Sri M.Chandrashekharan.
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Acknowledgment: Some of the facts are taken from this and this.

Love

2008-11-17T18:06:00.000+05:30

Finally the time has come to write about this topic. Wonder why in these 3 years I never dared to write about this. Most of the time used to go in analysing the different terms associated with it: crush, attraction, infatuation etc etc. But none of these are equivalent to this strong word called love. My focus in this post is not any other form of love but love between a male and female.

In my view, if a feeling of a girl towards a guy/man has to be called as love, it needs to be very pure. [I will intentionally not talk about the other side of it here, because I don't think I am qualified enough. Readers are welcome to add] By pure, I refer to the absence of "Arishadvargas" (six foes) called "Kama, Krodha, Lobha, Moha, Mada, Mathsara" (Lust, Anger, Greed, Attachment, Ego, Jealousy). In such a case, love can do wonders. It can elevate the person being in love to the next higher level in life. Only such a love has the power to bring about drastic and permanent changes. True love need not end in marriage, but it'll definitely prepare one for a better life. If a person has "loved" someone, then she will not be desperate to marry him. If there's desperation, it is not love, it is greed or lust or attachment or a mixture of these.

A girl/woman in real love will always wish for the happiness of the man she loves. I don't call it sacrifice, rather I call it selfishness. The reason being that she feels happy if he is happy and a sensible woman knows that a man's happiness lies in being with a woman he likes and a woman's happiness lies in being with a man she is liked by. Also, as the famous saying goes, "A man should love his wife without trying to understand her; A woman should understand her husband without trying to love him. Most people do the other way and make their life miserable." Actually women have tremondous capacity to understand human mind and that's why they can do the job of a mother very well. Similarly, men love like crazy and that's why they sometimes become "Devadasas". Not to offend men. (Why there is no female counterpart to this? Note: the word "Devdasi" has a different meaning.) Finally I would like to say that if love is channelized well, the world will be such a beautiful place to live!

Over to you, readers!

Hurray!

2008-10-27T13:24:00.000+05:30

Hi Friends,

Wish you a very happy Deepavali..
I am happy to inform you that one of the patents we had filed when I was working for Ittiam has got granted just last week: Docket no is 1864.018US1 . One more is still to be granted, hopefully it will be. You can find these in the following link:
One that got granted:
http://www.freshpatents.com/Architecture-for-feedback-loops-in-decision-feedback-equalizers-dt20051117ptan20050254572.php
The one that is getting processed:
http://appft1.uspto.gov/netacgi/nph-Parser?Sect1=PTO1&Sect2=HITOFF&d=PG01&p=1&u=%2Fnetahtml%2FPTO%2Fsrchnum.html&r=1&f=G&l=50&s1=%2220050254571%22.PGNR.&OS=DN/20050254571&RS=DN/20050254571
It is a nice feeling to partially own a patent! Please don't ask treat OK.. I won't be getting any money because of this, seriously.

Cheers
Aparna

It is About the Bike!

2008-10-13T15:31:00.000+05:30

It was November 2002. I had booked a honda activa in City honda, St.Marks road. Waiting period was 30 days and I was dreaming about my new vehicle all the time.

Dec 7,2002. Batani (oops, Venkatesh-a B.E. friend) came to my house, for what, I don't remember. I snatched his bike key and tried it. The guy was really psyched about his good old vehicle rather than what would happen to me. His desperate attempts to stop me went in vain and I learnt it in a day. That is when I seriously started thinking about geared bike. You know, the "kick" it gives you back, in response to the kick you give it, must be really worth, that's why most guys buy bikes I thought. Moreover, look at the mileage, stability, maintenance: Geared vehicle is better than ungeared in every other way.

So, within 2 days, I made up my mind. I had to face lot of resistance, from my family and friends. There was not a single friend who supported my decision. But yeah, I must admit that Jyothi, my classmate in B.E. was my inspiration, as she used to ride a CBZ. One of my colleagues even warned, "You can not wear a saree and ride a bike". Finally my mom stopped cribbing and that was just enough for me. Canceled the activa booking and booked a TVS Victor GL Black. On Dec 13th, 2002 ( literally!) my journey on Victor started. I had only a learner's license and had to get a D.L. It was not as easy as it was for guys. The police would suspect my capacity and I could not have afforded to do a single small mistake. Hence I practiced, practiced..and practiced. Nothing terrible happened during the test and I got a license with clean hand.

My bike has fallen many times, but it has never let me down. Once in February 2003, when I was still not good at driving, was coming home at 2 a.m. from office. Sathya (my colleague then) was coming along on his bike. There was a small ditch on the road and before I saw it, I had pressed the front brake. You can imagine the rest. I had done a high-jump. Nothing happened to me. There was a dog lying, which got so scared that it ran away without leaving any signs.

There are endless stories which make my Victor unique. One of them I had put down in this blog, with title "Help Me". I have enjoyed countless rides on ring roads. The major long ride was on June 19th, 2006, when I had made a trip to my native place (near Mangalore) through Shiradi ghat, i.e. Hassan - Sakleshpur - Uppinangadi. By the time I crossed the ghats, there were heavy rains! It was one unforgettable experience, which was full of risk. Again, for this I had to bargain a lot with lot of people.

In between all these, once in a while, Amma used to tell me to sell it and buy an un-geared one. Though I understood her concerns, it was getting very difficult for me to accept the fact that I have to sell it. I knew that, I could not keep it forever, still was trying to keep it for maximum time possible. Technically, I had no valid reasons to sell it. I have never had any accidents with it, if I do not consider those small things mentioned. It has been in a very good condition as far as engine, mileage etc are considered. I don't find it difficult to manage. Further, it has become my friend, it never lets me feel lonely.

Now, finally, when it is nearing 6 years, I am selling it. You might ask why. If you have read "The Alchemist", think that signs told me to sell. Fact is that I got convinced that I must sell it, whatever may be the reasons. Once again, circle is getting closed with activa booking, this time at Planet Honda, Rajajinagar. Waiting period has remained the same. But this time no repetition of history!

Note: If you are interested in buying my bike, you may email me or leave a comment to this.

No Title

2008-09-25T18:03:00.000+05:30

This was originally written for firstwritings.blogspot.com, on 7th July, 2008

Why should a post have title? Hence I have kept the title as "No title".

This blog is started by a friend, who is a first time blogger, for (I suppose) first time writers. I being a non-first-timer, was hesitant to accept the invitation. But then, is there a rule that a first-timer only should join this? Even if there was, why shouldn't one break it? By the way, my other blog is aparnack.blogspot.com. Unfortunately, I forgot the password and can't post anymore.

I appreciate the beauty of the name of this blog, "Life - a beautiful play". For the one who came up with this phrase, life looks like a play, a beautiful play I suppose. But then, we never take a play seriously, do we? May be sometimes; when we play for prizes, trophies etc? yes, we do. Should we or shouldn't we? Do we play for winning or enjoying? Do we ever play for losing?

I think (forgive me for my over-abundant "I think"s), the theme of this post is going to be "purpose of game of life". What do I think is the purpose of life? This is not a precise question. I can not think what is the purpose of life, I can only think about the purpose of my life. I have already thought about it and the answer is "No purpose", exactly like how this post's title was "No title"!

After about 2-3 years of contemplation, I've come to a conclusion that I play game of life neither for winning, nor for losing, nor for enjoying. The moment I want something from life, I am going to eventually lose. Even the constant urge to be happy, to enjoy is going to ultimately cause sorrow. The desire to be detached from/dispassionate about life itself is a form of attachment/passion. The passion to achieve something, which is very tough to achieve. Hence, all that I could conclude was that I can not conclude anything; I can not find the purpose of my life, at least not so soon and not with ease. Probably, it is not necessary to have a purpose for one's life. Just go on living life the way it happens; the way which seems correct at that point of time.

ನಾನು ವಾಪಾಸ್!

2008-09-23T11:58:00.000+05:30

ಹಲೋ, ಹಾಯ್, ನಮಸ್ಕಾರ!
ಕಳೆದುಹೋಗಿದ್ದ ಪಾಸ್ವರ್ಡ್ ಸಿಕ್ಕಿಬಿಟ್ಟಿತು ನೋಡಿ..ತುಂಬಾ ಸಂತೋಷ ಆಯಿತು. ಇನ್ನು ಮೇಲೆ ಆಗಾಗ ಬರೆಯುತ್ತೇನೆ.
ನಿಮ್ಮೆಲ್ಲರ,
ಅಪರ್ಣಾ

Helllloooo? Is somebody there?

2007-01-01T20:04:00.000+05:30

Hi..

First of all, wish you a very happy and enlightening new year 2007!

I'll be very much surprised if someone still visits my blog!
Anyways, in case someone does, here are a few updates:

Finished one semester (successfully?!) at IISc.

Loved the coursework there; a good balance of easy, medium and tough courses.

Teachers are just excellent in my department, i.e. Electrical Communication Engineering (ECE).

Luckily, unlike the usual IISc trend, there are quite a lot of good batchmates. OK, define good: Intellectually and emotionally "matured"., now dont ask me to define maturity, it will all go on and on in a never ending loop or, might come back to defining "good" :)

We've been freaking out a lot in groups...at hours say..something like two a.m. mostly in football ground or gym cafe....It's been fun, to say the least.

I'm "enjoying" the privileged position of "the only lady student of ECE batch of 2006-08" at IISc, just like my senior is "enjoying" the same position for batch 2005-07 ECE!

What else? Yeah, I got the guide of my choice and was there in the list of his choices as well, so it is a mutual commitment. Really great teacher and gem of a person.

Had a cool vacation for 3 weeks. Read a few books, philosophised a lot, did what all I could.... Had never got such a vacation after B.E., so it's been very thrilling.....

All geared up for the coming semester, which is going to commence in the second week of Jan.

All in all, so far so good, as my guide would say....

Some quotes/one-two liners that I came across, from IISc people, as well from orkut friends; I decline to reveal the sources, none are mine.

"Dont ask your neighbour, you are more correct than your neighbour"
"Well, you can't convince the world, until you convince yourself"
"If walls have ears, they have ear-wax too"
"I dont care about anything, by anything, I mean ANYTHING, not even myself. Let the soceity go to hell, who cares? Why should there be humans? Why can't world be full of dinosaurs?"
"QED means Quite Easily Done" (In fact, Q.E.D is a short form used to denote end of proof)
"I mix water with rum and drink-I get high, same when I mix water with whisky and drink, same when I mix water with gin and drink, what is wrong with water???!!!"
"Research depends a lot on luck. But the harder you work, the more lucky you'll get", "Yeah true, you need to be waiting there when luck knocks your door, to open it"
"Can you see the redundancy in phrase 'may be or may not be' ?"
"(Paradox in Murphy's law) 'If something has a chance of going wrong, it'll definitely go wrong'. Then why can't this law go wrong?"

Well, reader, that's all I can remember for now..........

So long then,
Aparna

Just one last thing-I had a recent realization: It is so easy to convince the world that you are happy, even if you aren't convinced yourself.

Life is Good

2006-07-29T07:00:00.000+05:30

Yeah, you are right; "Life is Good".

Dear friend, this is a small gift from me:

The snapshot of a painting I did on 25th September, 2005. (i.e. after a break of about 7 years).

Life is all colourful like this painting. We can either see and enjoy the colours or close the eyes and see the darkness; choice is individual, realized it hard way, but yeah, I have.

Finally I've reached "home", I'm where I want to be, both physically and mentally...Peace. I savour the moments.

Nothing and no one is indispensable.

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Thanks a lot and all the best.

An open letter to Ms. Sugandhi

2006-07-12T18:17:00.000+05:30

Dear Ms. Sugandhi,

Whoever you are, wherever you are, may God bless you with a job soon. You getting a job is very important for me, in fact it is no exaggeration if I say, more important for me than it is for you. You may wonder why I have become such a desperate wellwisher of yours. Soon you will know.

When I joined my first (and only) job way back in 2002 after finishing Engineering, I got a cell phone. I used to enjoy it very much for obvious reasons (You've started getting so much money every month, you would like to have some luxury right?). It was an Airtel connection and I hardly used to receive calls from unknown people. At the end of year 2004, my handset went bad and I was too lazy to get a new one, I didn't find it so much a necessity and by then, the initial excitement in having it as a luxury had abated.

Comes March 2006 and I am sure of a change in my life and hence my needs. I get a good GATE rank and I am going to join IISc. There is definitely a need to tune my life-style and hence I get a new Nokia handset. I go for a Hutch prepaid connection, since it is the cheapest one which has good network too.

I don't know what made me choose that number. There were many others, but I ended up choosing this one probably because of my affinity towards odd numbers and especially 7. But I never imagined in my wildest dreams that it would bridge a new relation between us.

I don't remember when exactly it all started. Mostly around end April-May. One afternoon I was so tired that I wanted to sleep very badly. I couldn't get sleep because I was too much tired. I put on music and was successful in forcing some sleep. As I was about to enter the world of dreams, my cellphone rang. I cursed myself for not switching off the mobile phone before sleeping and looked at the number, it was not the one I knew. As I answered the call, I heard, "Hello, Is this Ms. Sugandhi?" Needless to say how disappointed I was, to wake up and to answer a wrong number. That was the first time I came to know about your existence.

Next day, I was at office in an important meeting, my phone rings. A different unknown number. Again, "Is this Ms. Sugandhi?" I say, "No." The person does't stop. "Do you know where's Sugandhi Ma'am? We need to contact her urgently".

Dearest Sugandhi, you have become an ineluctable part of my life ever since. You haunt my cellphone all the time. I receive calls from various job-consultants and HRs at rate of 7 per week on an average. Some of them with real interesting offers, some to discuss interview timings etc. You know, I have secretly enjoyed answering them to some extent, when I had no better work to do. But I don't prefer to receive them when I am expecting calls from my friends or when I am busy at my work or while sleeping. I don't think all the HRs enjoy my sarcastic remarks, tho' some might. Even today I received one and said, "Yeah, Sugandhi speaking" at first. But then was in no mood to continue the conversation.Instead, I tried to contact you. I had requested one of the job consultants to e-mail you on this (last week I suppose), since he said he had your ID. I even visited naukri.com(because one chap said he got your-oops! sorry, my-number there) to see whether I can get your contacts. They were of no use, hence this blog, hoping that one day you might read this and feel honoured; I couldn't have written an open letter to anyone better. I hope that day, you will be courteous enough to buzz me and tell why the hell you chose my number to put in naukri.com, or in case you had owned this number once upon a time, why you did not care to update your profile.

Finally, I hope you didn't miss any real opprtunity due to the wrong phone number given.

With best regards,
Your wellwisher
Aparna

An evening with Shathaavadhani R Ganesh

2006-07-05T21:40:00.001+05:30

Yesterday I attended a talk by Shathaavadhani R Ganesh at Chokshi hall of IISc. It is definitely worth being documented in the form of blog. I had missed the first 3 talks in the series, this one was the fourth one, organized by Samskrta Sangha of IISc. I don't know what the series is named exactly, it is about Indian Philosophy - the "Vedaantha". Here are a few salient points for people who are interested. Please note that I am no authority to comment on anything or answer any doubts. I hope to be accurate in putting his points here, as I've taken some notes. For every point the talker has quoted the corresponding Manthras from Vedaas. However, I couldn't make notes of longer ones. These are all simple points which are debated time and again and most of the times misinterpreted either intentionally un-intentionally.

1.The talk commenced with Varnas description, about that which is commonly mistaken to be caste system. In the older versions of Vedaas, there are only 3 Varnas and no mention of "Shudras". Society was functioning well with these 3, there was no discrimination/disparity based on these. People were free to choose their profession and based on the profession they used to be classified. For example, a Brahmin's son is not forced to be a Brahmin, he could join any of the three. Later, there was a need for supporting system and hence Shudras were created in each Varna. It was not a separate Varna, but there were Shudra Brahmins, Shudra Kshathriyas and Shudra Vaishyas. Meaning of Shudra: "Shuchath Dravathithi Shudraha": The one who takes care of cleaning, households work etc. In old times Shudras were not looked down upon. Brahmins were considered to be teachers because "Brahma Jaanaathithi Braahmanaha". If a brahmin was not educated or he does not follow some codes of conduct, he was not considered to be a Brahmin by the rest of the society. Similarly for the people of other Varnas. In Geetha Sri Krishna says, "Chaaturvarnam Mayaa Srishtam Guna karma Vibhaagashaha". It was literally followed in very old days.

2.Woman was revered by everyone. She was considered to be the one who enlightens, enthralls and embellishes the city. The house wife was treated as queen of the house and not like house-maid/source of money(through dowry).

3.Definition of Sabhya(Gentleman): "Bha ya sahitha ithi sabhyaha" Bha means wisdom. The one who has wisdom. Sabha is the place where important matters are discussed, and Sabhya is the one who is worthy to be enrolled into the Sabha. Vedaas say that youth should participate more and more in Sabhas, because youth is very important to the country.

4.Our Vedaanthas never support non-violence where violence is much needed. Yeah, it is true we've heard, "Ahimsaa Paramo dharmaha". But it is only half true. The latter part of the line is hidden from us and hence unknown commonly. The entire line runs thus: "Ahimsaa Paramo Dharmaha, Dharma himsaa thathaiva cha". Non - violence as well as violence for protecting one's Dharma (Here please don't equate Dharma to the religion) or as per the rules of one's Dharma is supreme. For example, it is the Dharma of soldiers(Kshathriyas) to protect their motherland. It was the Dharma of Arjuna to destroy evil powers and hence Krishna preaches him to fight in the war. Our Vedaanthas never approved endangering one's own lives for the welfare of others. Vedic spirit is, "If peace can be achieved through violence, why not violence?"

5.In Vedaas, none is superior to the rest. It had identified multiple cultures and languages and wanted people to live in Harmony. The Dharma is defined as "Dhaarayathithi Dharmaha". Dharma is a way of life. If people are in harmony, wealth will be showered is what Vedaas say. It describes the significance of every professional, the farmer, the goldsmith, the cobbler, the priest, the king etc and says all are equally important to the society, none is better than the others. Our Dharma is about tolerance, reverence etc and not about dogmatism or fanatism. But, Vedaas don't approve blind generosity. It is all about "Give and Take". "If you give me something, I'll try to give back no less".

6.Everything and everyone is to be respected. Agni, the fire is a symbol of energy. Even the crawling of frog in rainy season is appreciated for its vigor. One of the Vedic sloka says, "Brahmins chant Manthra like frogs crawl". Though this is being laughed at and misinterpreted these days, the original intention behind the comparison was not to degrade anyone, but to appreciate everything, like how a child does.

7.Vedaas describe the significance of Pooja and Yajna. They stress the importance of sharing food. Not sharing food is a grave sin. Veda gives the descriptions of "Samith" - the sticks used to prepare fire in Yajnas and flowers used in Poojas.
- The samith has to be thinner than the thumb and thicker than the last finger, and the length should not be less than the last finger. It has to be corrosion-less, dry, leaf-less and naturally fallen out of the trees. Note that cutting trees for Yajnas is nowhere approved.
- The flowers should be fresh and complete.
They are
Utthama (of the excellent class) if they are grown by the self,
Madhyama (of the middle class) if they are picked from a public property,
Adhama (of the bad class) if they are purchased, and
Adhamadhama (of the worst class) if they are stolen.

8.The concept of "No Sath and No Asath" is briefly touched upon. Firstly, it should not be confused with "Shunyavada" or "Nihilism". It doesn't mean nothingness, but it means completeness or perfection - "Poornavada"*. No Sath and No Asath means there is no space and time reference. It can't be created and destroyed. It can't be described, for it is beyond words, it can only be experienced or felt. Vedaas believe in immortality - not immortality of the body, but that of the soul, the spirit.

Finally Sri Ganesh says that we will find lot of repititions in Vedaas and Upanishads which might become boring to someone who reads it to get information, because the repitions seem to convey nothing new. But to the mind who wants to enjoy the reading these repitions provide joy. A musician sings the same 7 notes (or even the Sadja - the basic note, alone) time and again without ever getting bored, because he becomes one with it, he enjoys the process. He is in the state of absolute bliss and never focused on the end result, but on the process; he becomes one with the process. Many a times an information seeking mind looks at the end result (the facts and thoughts it would accumulate) and not at the process. Enjoyment means total absence of thought and just relishing the moment.

Everyone has the right to read these and enjoy, no one is actually banned from reading Vedaantha, such things are all created by perverted or ignorant people. The talker urges people to read them, enjoy and get enlightened. He also makes one important point at the end, that knowing Vedaas by-heart and having Vedic spirit are entirely different, one should be more focussed on the latter.

*Here I was reminded of an Upanishad Shanthi Paatha,
Poornamadaha Poornamidam
Poornaath Poornamudachyathe
Poornasya Poornamaadaaya
Poornamevaavshishyathe
One meaning (given in the books) is that (Parabrahma) is complete, this (this world) is complete. This (world) is from that (Parabrahma). If completeness(of the world) is removed from completeness (Parabrahma), completeness (Parabrahma) remains.

I understand the sloka in this way. Knowledge is complete in itself and it can't be created or destroyed. If the knowledge is imparted to others (from the one who has it), it still remains (with the one who has had it originally). This sloka is used by even mathematicians to describe the property of zero. That's why it is very easy to confuse the perfection with nothingness probably!!!

A memorable Veena class

2006-05-31T15:57:00.001+05:30

It's been more than 2 yrs now since I started with Veena lessons, and I've been regularly practising. Everyday I practise with lot of hope. Every class I try for playing it to my Sir's satisfaction. Ofcourse, it is not enough if I play to my satisfaction. At my level whatever I play sounds good to me, but that's not all. Every week, every class, I've been hearing only "this is not fine, that is not fine" types remarks, till now. {Don't get me wrong, my teacher is a nice person. He has been very kind, but also been very demanding.} Since last few months I’ve been feeling that how much hard I try, I'm nowhere near excellence. My worst fears were coming true, I'm going to be an additional mediocre on this earth! and how I despise mediocrity!! I was just starting to hate myself for it. Not only myself, I was literally hating every good Vainikas (Emani, Chittibaabu,Balachander) for setting such high standards. I was developing a bad attitude. I was sometimes inclined to think that my Sir was simply being harsh with me and all….More in a minute on why such thoughts come….

This is how a typical practise goes..

Morning I practise, I sing my lesson vocally once. Sing it again, record and play it back. When I listen, I get the painful realization that my Sir has been very honest with me with his comments on my rhythm. Every period of a Taala is either shorter or longer by quarter to half a beat. I do it again, this time it is slightly better, but still this is not what my Sir would give an OK for. Sigh! I take a 2 minute break, sing it again, record again-this time not the full song-just a line and it fits within the Taala. Great! I do it for the full stanza, play the record back; no use. Towards the end it is faster, there is exhaustion in my voice and Taala runs as if it has to catch a train. Sigh again. Go to Mom, crib for sometime, come back practise, practise, practise, until I get tired, and this(getting tired) has been happening very soon offlate.

Then I pick my Veena, connect it to the amp, tune it to the frequency matching to the Radel Tambura(pitch : 2.5, i.e. D#) and start playing. I practise Gamakas of the raaga. It doesn’t sound too bad. The voice of my Veena is very soothing, definitely not like the sound that comes when you hit a metal (as my Mom often puts it for harsh Veena sounds those come on TV). That mild, beautiful sound of Veena fills my heart with immense joy and peace. I forget everything, even the Taala. I get immersed in the melody of it. I try a Gamaka within the lesson, try to master it and I feel I’ve done my best for the day. I get confidence that in the next class Sir won’t be unhappy at the melody part of it. I record a stanza of Swarajathi and listen to it. As usual Taala is bad, but melody is OK. I know where I have to improve in rhythm, though do not know how to improve it. I feel quite good about the melody part, keep wondering what else can be done to improve it until it improves further with time and more knowledge. I feel pretty satisfied that currently that is the best I could do. But that satisfaction doesn’t have enough conviction, because it is my judgement, my Sir never said so. My Sir never once said I was playing well.

My Sir often says his way of teaching and his style of music is different from what is normally found nowadays, which is quite true. He plays almost similar to Dr.Chittibaabu. His Veena talks to you, believe me. You feel as if Veena is alive if you listen to it when his fingers are dancing on its body. Such gamakas, such swara patterns! I know people will be very skeptical to hear this, but believe me-my opinion on my Sir’s music. I’ve listened to many classical music concerts, many recordings, read quite a bit about music and I can confidently say I am capable of differentiating between various quality music. I think my Sir is the best Vainika alive today, out of those whom I have heard, though I don’t discount the possibility of another “Ele Mareya Kaayi” (meaning, “a nut behind the leaves”) somewhere in a corner of Bangalore or anywhere else.

You know, he is really great and that is the first reason why I set my targets high, because I see a possibility of achieving it. I keep measuring my progress once in a while. From the last one year the type of the comments that I get from him had not changed and this was making me depressed. My friends/colleagues keep visiting me, I play for them, they say some nice words, but this is in no way a measure of my progress as I define ‘progress’. I wanted to know what he really thinks about my progress. Often I’ve asked him, “Sir, am I better now than how I was 6 months ago?” to which he always replies, “Don’t ask me that. I won’t answer”. I was getting restless and uncomfortable. I was feeling, this was becoming quite stagnant. I learn one or two Jathiswara (now Swarajathi actually) per month and every one of them I screw up! It was going nowhere, I thought.

Today, after the class, I continued talking to him, I put the question in a different way. “Sir, it has been more than 2 years since I started. Where do you think I stand? I need to know my level, I can’t be generally aiming very high if I’m not really capable of achieving it. So, please tell me.” This, he seemed to understand. He said, “There is a difference between how you play and how others play”, to which I asked, “Do you mean others learning from other teachers or”, he said, “No, I mean among my students. You play quite differently from the rest, but you need to improve on Taalas. Keep focusing, if you practise everyday with a will to straighten it out, it will come with time. Do not count your knowledge by number of years you’ve learnt it for. Stop counting 2 –3 years etc right now. Your mind is sharp, use it. I teach you every trick that I know as long as I’m alive, rest is left to you.” Yeah, he used to often say in other contexts, “I teach everyone how much they can take. More they learn, more do I demand”

I was overwhelmed to hear these, naturally!
For the first time in my life I get a compliment from my music teacher whom I revere, though it is upon asking, in a way. Do I want to hear it again? No, I get an assurance which is enough for a lifetime. Will I ever doubt my capability again? Hell, No!!!

I simply worried myself all these days, without even trying to know the reality. My Sir has been good to me. He even prepared coffee for me once. He keeps saying lot of kind words in general after the class; he has even said I mean no less than his daughter for him. I never realized the reason for the warmth he used to bestow upon me; was always thinking, it was because he's 75 yrs old and he lives alone, he is fond of me for visiting him twice a week, thus keeping him busy. I never really have had the chance to know whether I was treated differently from his other students, because there is only 1 more student apart from me who comes to his house, that too on different days (rest of the students-he visits their house).

I’m extremely inspired, relieved and relaxed. My motivation to pursue music has come back.

Sequel to M.V.T.P.S.

2006-05-15T14:55:00.000+05:30

Remember? about 2 months ago, there was this post by me, titled as "My Visits To Police Station (MVTPS)". Well, here is its sequel, which will be very short.
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One night-like every night-I went home and opened my cup-board as usual; there I saw it- the good old two wheeler license, lying in a corner.
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Is Ignorance bliss?

2006-04-18T11:08:00.000+05:30

Yes, I was thinking so till yesterday. No, not anymore.
I have very poor general knowledge, and I was proud of it (not anymore).

I don't/didn't feel ashamed of my level of general knowledge,

When my 12 year old brother(cousin) had started enlightening me about 3 years ago.
When I came to realize that my Mom who is born and has spent more than two third of her life in a village knows more than me.
When I keep blinking during a general conversation in any party, not even knowing about what is the current hot movie.
When I don't understand some of the blogs written by one of my friend who is a quizzer.
When I get lost in wikipedia trying to get information on something, keep clicking one link after another, ultimately forgetting what I wanted to know more about.

You know, all these are not very obvious to others unless I tell about them myself. Also, I did not feel I was at a loss by not knowing. I somehow always managed to get my ignorance unnoticed, until yesterday!

I had been attending a 10 sessions workshop by Mr. Amit Heri on western classical music, to know the basics. To begin with, there were about 12 attendees for the first session, slowly reduced to 4 for the 9th session-yesterday. We learnt quite a lot there. We also became more familiar with the each other, naturally. We have been having lots of fun during the classes.

In one of the classes I remember one guy bringing an analogy between Cricket and Music. But I did not give much thought about it then. Yesterday the same guy(one of the 4) said he was leaving to England the next midnight, still he'd try to come to the class in the evening, since it is the last class. It was for Cricket match he was leaving. He sits next to me most of the times and even yesterday he did. So, I generally asked,

Me: You're going for Cricket Matches?
He: Yes
Me: You're a famous Cricketer? Your name comes in news-papers?
He: Not exactly ;) It doesn't. Not for Cricket, may be for Guitar, Music?
(I understood this to be a joke and laughed)
Mr.Amit: Yes Aparna, his name does come in the newspapers.
Me: Oh! Barry, I hardly read newspapers, so I wouldn't have noticed. And, well, I hate watching TV, I don't have much inclination for Cricket, so I wouldn't know.
He: Don't bother, Cricket is a boring game. Definitely not worth. :)

Class continues.....

At the end of it, I generally wanted to know more about this fellow.
So, I ask, "What is the name of your team?"
He: Karnataka
Me: So, do you play for Ranji?
He: Yeah, often I've played.
At this point, everyone laughed and Mr. Amit Said, "Aparna, Barrington Rowland is the CAPTAIN of Karnataka Cricket team and he is very well known. His name comes quite often in the newspapers. He's got many records against his name in Cricket!!!"

Apparently I was the only one who didnot know him (I knew his full name tho', I've mailed him some music links also) all these days, sitting right next to him!

I blushed at my ignorance, for about 5 seconds not knowing what to do next! Immediately I recovered and said to Barry, "Hey, it is my pleasure to know you, I won't forget you, and I'm sure you won't forget me. You might have 1000s of fans, but you know, it is hard to find someone like me who didn't know who you were!"

Barry replied, "I won't forget you for one more thing: your bike. Too much man! I can't ride a geared bike like you, I've tried many times"

Such a simple, cool, fun-loving chap he is. I may not like Cricket too much. But I have high respect for Cricketers because they belong to one category of achievers. I have reverence for anyone who aims at excellence, who tries to bring out the best in themselves and others. I get thrilled to talk to anyone who has achieved something above average. It is one of the great pleasures of life to know such people especially if they are down to earth and friendly. I felt really ashamed of my poor G.K for not being able to identify an achiever inspite of talking to him so many times. Today is the last session. He might or might not attend.

Barry,

may you get a place in Indian Cricket team soon....

On Shri S L Bhairappa's books

2006-04-14T13:00:00.000+05:30

Dedicated to my favourite Kannada author Shri SL Bhairappa (SLB in short)....

Reading Kannada novels is a hobby I picked somewhat recently, OK not exactly. I used to read Triveni's novels in highschool, but had almost stopped reading Kannada novels because they were profusely and foolishly sentimental. Last year, one of my colleagues introduced me to this great Kannada novelist called SL Bhairappa. (Or, is it introduced Bhairappa to me? I'm always confused in the usage of this, anyways doesn't matter as long as you get me; After all English is a weird language!)

I started with 'Daatu'. This is a novel centered around caste system and how detrimental it can be to the lives of people. People make self-destructive rules, blaming it on the society and face the consequences. 'Daatu' means 'cross a boundary or a fence'. Here the protagonist is a female and she, being born and brought up in a village tries to cross the boundaries of caste system.

Next, went on to "Thanthu"(meaning a small strand). This is the story of a journalist, his family and his professional and personal friends circle. This is one big novel of about 700 pages which touches upon several social and political problems which were prevailing in the country in 1970's. Especially the depiction of emergency period towards the end of the book is very poignant. In the first 200 pages comes the description of a school designed in "Gurukula" style which is very appealing to people like me who do not have any liking towards the current education system.

I had somehow controlled my strong yearning to read his Meru Krithi(->Meaning big one) "Parva" till this point. But when my friend(same colleague mentioned earlier) gifted me the book, I just couldn't keep it idle. I was supposed to read it last since it was his best book. But I jumped to read it sooner. The story is that of Mahabharatha, but written in an amazingly different way! You'll feel as if Bheema is your next door neighbor as you read it; you can in fact relate Dhuryondhana, Krishna and every character in that book to people around you. Especially, the description of the thought process and emotions of every character is truly touching. For example, think about how difficult it would've been for Draupadi to manage 5 husbands; her lonely feelings despite having 5 husbands (none of them really being a friend to her). Situations are analyzed in this book from several angles and several characters' points of view. Truly interesting read. It is translated to many indian languages and English. Tho' for Kannadigas' I don't suggest reading in any other language, for others: please try at least the english or your respective mother tongue version of this book

The next in the queue was "Dharmashree". This says what a person who has got converted to a different religion goes through. May be because I read it just after I completed his best book, I did not find this very impressive. But it does highlight some of the problems faced by the contemporary society.

Next I think I read "Mandra" ("Mandra" refers to the notes one octave lower than the normal octave in music). I better not talk about it. This is one of my less liked books, but I guess it is due to the disturbing truth highlighted in the novel; my dislike has nothing to do with SLB's writing as such. Like the rest, this is also very well written. It is a story of a musician called Mohanlal. The best thing about this novel (for me) is the way it has described the process of learning music.

"Anchu" (meaning corner, boundary) is one other book. It is the story of a woman who have had lots of hardships as a kid, due to which develops a kind of emotional disorder. As you read it, you will wonder whether a person can get suicidal thoughts so many times and still survive. Unless you deeply think about it, I don't think this novel will make much sense. But if you are interested in human psychology, this is a good read, though you'll get upset quite often, if you get immersed in the novel. You will get to know what exactly goes on the minds of people who are emotionally weaker than average. She can not be called as insane, because she lives a normal life like everyone else.

How can I forget "Jalapatha"? I was about to miss it here. A brief 200 pages novel, nevertheless touching. Bhairappa's appreciation for art is very evident in this novel. There is a painter who lives in Mumbai with his wife-a dabbler in music. It is about their struggle for survival and the emotional entaglements they get into due to different kinds of situations they are subjected to. There is another interesting character, a scientist with revolutionary thoughts ultimately leading to tragedy.

There are lot more to be read, "Vamshavriksha", "Grihabhanga", "Bhitti", "Bheemakaaya", "Thabbaliyu neenade magane", "Saartha".. and so on. He has written more than 25 novels and some more essays, many of them have been translated to other languages. Every one of them is unique and talks about different aspects of life. Usually what I have found is that you read one book by an author, you'll feel thrilled, second book also you can enjoy. But as you read more and more it becomes kind of predictable and seldom you get new ideas from next books. You tend to read tho' because you enjoy the author's style. But with SLB's book, this is not the case. You read them also for their new content. It is no exaggeration to say that they are capable of guiding the reader towards complete emotional and spiritual growth.

Beauty of Bhairappa's novels in general lies in the fact that they do not give any conclusions; he just analyzes certain situations and peoples' actions and thereafter he is noncommital, unlike most of the Kannada authors (like for example, Shivarama Kaarantha and Kuvempu are very strong opinioned authors). He just shows the direction and leaves the reader alone to arrive at conclusions. I mean, when you read the last page, you feel it is not the end, but beginning of another story that you can concoct on your own. You can build your thoughts over and above what you have read in his book.

Dear reader, go and get hold of one of his books, I bet you'll like it.

Small Wonder!

2006-03-03T10:03:00.000+05:30

I was watching him,
The most wonderful being,
I've ever known.
As she spoke to him,
His eyes gleamed,
Face turned red,
As she moved,
With her, so did his mind.

He was in a stupor.
I approached him,
In my arms I took him,
Kissed his cheeks and told,
What I knew about him.
He wondered,
"How come (you know)!!?"

"Thirteen years ago", I replied
"I was you, and hence,
I know what you feel"
Then, I asked him, "Am I pretty?"
He was amused, "Yes, Yes", he said,
"But why ask me, why again?"
For, it was 1000th time,
The same question being asked.

"If I have to hear a yes", I thought
"Who else can I ask, but you?
Wish you knew, how thrilled I am,
Everytime I hear a yes.
May be thirteen years from now,
When you become me,
If you still remember the question,
And the hope in my eyes,
My darling brother,
Then you'll have the answer for,
'Why ask, why again?',
Not until then".

Why do I blog?

2006-02-21T13:40:00.000+05:30

Yeah, this is one question asked by many people, on which I decided to post a blog finally. I've thought about it many times and got some answers:

Top 5 reasons

To kill time at office when I'm jobless
To help others in doing the same
To confuse the general public
To channellize the emotions into a relatively harmless sink
To catch memorable(?) moments in the form of words

Other reasons..

To improve my writing skills
To know myself better
To help my friends to know me better
To know the world better
To write about things which are of no practical interest to anyone

I'll add to the list whenever I get more answers..Suggestions are welcome!

My visits to Police station

2006-02-16T17:23:00.001+05:30

I am back to office from a long holiday. Wanted to write a lot on how I enzoied the last one month. But what a tragedy that I have to write a post titled thus? This is called Fate! I have visited police station twice within a span of 54 hours, which is slightly on a higher side I guess. So, looks like God wants me to post a blog on this only, before I write on how I spent my vacation or share my thoughts which got shaped in the last few days.

It all started like this: One fine morning, about 2-3 months ago, when I reached office and kept my bag on the desk, I noticed one of the pockets being open. I remembered that my two wheeler license was supposed to be inside that pocket. Immediately rummaged through inside to find every junk thing except the only important thing-i.e. the license. Somehow I felt I didn't lose it that day, but only got to know about it then, either way it didn't matter. I wasn't worried, since in 3 Yrs, I had never been caught or fined, so it hardly made any difference. I took it pretty cool and did not do anything about it with an excuse of having better things to do like studying for GATE and Veena Practice.

Once GATE was over, I thought it is better to clear up all stupid, pending things and hence I made my way to Koramangala RTO on Tuesday, [That's where I had got my license, 3yrs ago because I used to stay in that locality then] to get a duplicate license. The procedure seemed to be quite simple(!). Just that it involved a lot of paper work, paying 15 rupees as license fee and another 215 for card license and of course a proof for losing the original one. This last thing called for a visit to the police station near the area where I had lost it. Now, this was tricky, when I myself didn't know where I lost it, where should I go? Hence I decided to go to the Koramangala police station which was the nearest.

That was my first visit to the police station; it was a beautiful building actually. It was not looking like a dilapidated old hut of the kind they show in Hindi movies. It was built with quite a modern design, granite flooring etc. There was a lady and a male constable in the front desk. I went in and told them I wanted to file an FIR on losing my license. The lady seemed to be very friendly, but the first question she asked was when and where did I lose it. I said 3 days ago(Yeah, I too can tell lies much to my own and may be some of your surprise) and about the place I said I didn't know. She said I had to then give the complaint at least in a station nearby my house, to which I made a very tired and sorrowful face. The male constable evidently melted by the expression on my face and said that it was OK to file it there. He convinced the lady too (who was apparently his peer). He suggested me to write that I had come to 'Raheja Arcade' for shopping and there I had lost it-which is what I did. In between I peeped inside to have a look at the cells. Inside there was an innocent looking man, aged about 40-50. I thanked the constables and came out.

In RTO, I said I had changed my house and would like to get the new address printed on the license card. But then I came to know, it involved more paperwork and a half day work at Rajajinagar/Yeshwanthpur RTO and another 230 rupees from my pocket. So, I was forced to be content with whatever best I could get at Koramangala, i.e. a card with an address of someone else's and a phone number which might belong to nobody. They said I could come after two days and collect my license between 4 to 5 p.m.

Today, at 3:43 p.m. I start from my office and peacefully enjoy a ride to Koramangala. I reach the RTO office at exact 4 and coolly get my card license. I come down and see, my bike is not where I had told her (yeah, it's a female, her name is Lakshmi, because she came home on a Friday; i.e. 13th of December 2002 ;-)) to wait. I hear a faint cry of my name, look here and there and some people with a white shirt, khaki pants and cap are kidnapping her in front of my eyes. Some other people are actively involved in putting many more two wheelers into a van. At first, I can not figure out what is happening, as I am lost in some other thoughts. I just set my eyes upon a blue board saying "No Parking". Now I realize what is happening. I let out a frantic cry there without caring for anything else; I talk to the police to leave my bike. He tells me to pay Rs 300 and I ask him whether he would give me the receipt, to which I get an affirmation. I open my purse only to find that I had exactly 290 Rupees. I was so desperate not to let her with them that I foolishly ask whether they accept cheque(Good God, I didn't ask whether they accept credit card!); all of them laugh. They ask which is my vehicle and I say "Victor GL Black", they seem to be even more amused. I crib that they don't have better work to do, they trouble only innocuous people like me, they don't do anything for those who keep doing mistakes. No effect, they tell me to come to Aadugodi police station and collect my bike. Had I been 2 minutes earlier, I could've avoided all the trouble.

There I am, despondent from the temporary separation from my bike. I go to the nearest ATM to withdraw money and pay my visit to the traffic police station. [In fact I make a short visit to the normal police station also while searching for traffic police station.] My bike is there near the station chained along with other vehicles who shared the 'Karma'. No one is there around, so I go up the stairs and give a lecture to 2 uniformed people who were blissfully sitting. One of them offers me water and then tells me to wait near the vehicle to collect it from Kidnappers only-it seems those who sit inside the office room have no business with my vehicle. I come down and wait near my bike. After about 10 minutes of restless waiting, the van comes again with another set of two wheelers.

I approach the kidnappers and start a sermon on how atrocious it is to trouble people like me who run the Government with thousands of hard-earned rupees (of tax) every month. They never do anything to those auto-walas who refuse to come to places within the city even at 12 noon, to those who literally rob the outsiders and over-charge even at 8:30 in the night, though they can do it only after 10. I ask them where do all the money which we pay as fine go. Just imagine, at a rate of 1 vehicle per minute in several areas throughout the city how much money they'll collect. Look at the roads, infrastructure-they are as worst as ever. I knew that it was useless to talk all these to those people, since they were just doing their duty. In fact, I appreciated a couple of things about them. The man-leader of kidnappers-did not accept the bribe from some people who tried it on him and also he did not yield to a person's threat that latter's brother was a traffic officer.

Finally they release my bike and I get back to office at 5:30. I am very much shaken from the loss, it is not the loss of 300 bucks that shakes me the most, but the fact that I don't have an immaculate record any more. I had never been fined for anything in my life till now. No more I can say so. One of my close friends who was always jealous of me on this, will get ever-lasting solace now.

What a sad day today has become!
Just 3 hours before, I was bubbling with joy....
Dear readers, I'm hoping to get some empathy from you...
Hope to come out of it soon and write nice things on this page....

Sincerely,
Aparna

Self - doubt, Confusions and Me

2005-12-09T09:05:00.000+05:30

"Aajnschaashraddhadhanascha Samshayathma Vinashyathi,
Naayam Lokosthi Na Paro Na Sukham Samshayathmanaha"
The ignorant one, the one without dedication, the one with self doubt as well as the one who doubts others - all these three perish. Especially the paranoid will never get comfort, neither in this world nor in another (meaning, after death).

How very true! Self doubt is the worst feeling one can have. You can't expect an individual having self-doubt to trust others. After all, if at all one knows about human psychology, it is mainly from what one knows about one's own mind. When one is doubting one's own intentions/capacities etc, when one does not have a pure clear mind, one can not imagine others having it. Like how one can dream only whatever one has seen in the past and can not see something entirely new, similarly one's understanding on others is limited by one's own understanding of the self. Hence the more one know about the self, the more does one know the entire human race.

But, sometimes I seriously wonder why must I know myself and others? What is the whole purpose of doing so much analysis? What do I get? Why do I even have to ponder whether I know myself, whether I have self doubt, whether I am good or bad? Why do I end up time and again in questions to which I already know that there is no answer? Worst, even after knowing my limitations, why do I do the same mistakes and encounter same unpleasant situations and get self-doubt? And, once I do a mistake, why can't I forget it and move on? Why do I always want to be correct? Why can't I say "It doesn't matter really?" and just let it all go? Why can't I accept myself the way I am-then it'll be lot more easy to accept others the way they are-? What is that which constantly drives me towards self-improvement?

What is confidence? Is it the absence of self-doubt? Or, is it the presence of a feeling of self-worth from within? What is Joy? Is it the absence of sorrow? Or is it the presence of a feeling of bliss from inside(Atlas Shrugged!)? What is being correct? Is it not being wrong? Or is it being the way my conscience guides me? What is this consicence?

The human brain is too small and still it is amazingly wonderful, how does it get all these thoughts? I'm confused...I don't know, I guess no one knows either...

Something About The "Esoteric" Indian Classical Music

2005-12-05T10:07:00.000+05:30

After a short lull, I'm writing again. I've been pretty busy these days, with releases at office and some major personal tasks to complete. Since a long time I was planning to put a blog on Indian classical music, but never did. Some recent happenings have pushed me to write one immediately. The characters and incidents mentioned here are neither purely co-incidental nor targeted at someone. If you identify yourself with some, it is quite natural. Also, I want to make it clear that the information presented in this article can be in no way called complete. This is just a very basic article, covering some concepts of mainly "Karnataka Shaastriya Sangeetha". Here we go...

Whenever I meet a new person, after interacting for a few days, I start to hit him/her with my usual series of questions, first of which is, "What kind of music do you listen to?", to which I seldom find an answer, "Indian Classical Music". Now, this is something that hurts me deeply. In my 24.5 years of subsitence on this weird yet amazingly beautiful earth I've learnt not to let others' actions or rather the absence of it hurt me, in general. But if there is one exception to it, then that is the actions/attitudes of people towards music. Specially as a person gets closer to my heart, then the amount of pain I experience is more; head gets hot, mind becomes sour and I start pondering seriously on the questions "Why Junta generally don't listen to the Indian Classical Music? What can I do about it?"

I've heard from elderly people that about 50-100 years ago, our Indian Classical Music (will be referred to as Indian CM or plainly CM in short now on) was very popular throughout. At least one person per family was devoted to learn it and he was provided with all the means for survival, so that he could just focus on learning. Not very long ago also there was "Oonchavritthi" (Begging in simple terms) in practice by the students. It was considered to be a penance and music worshippers were revered by the rest of the society.

In contrast, nowadays if one says he/she is learning CM, others may not laugh just out of courtesy, but they do convey something through their indifference. Generally any kind of an artist/e is very emotional and touchy. The society does not understand what it is doing to the artist/e and the art by its apathy. By this attitude, the biggest loser is the society itself. Slowly the quality of the society will come down, for example, looking at the current rate of decrease of CM lovers, I feel within next 100-200 years, it is going to vanish. Many might disagree with my statement, but that'll be the reality.

I have my own doubts as to how many of today's generation know what/where CM is. Is it in the "Lambodhara Lakumikara" or "Bhagyada Lakshmi Baramma" sung by Aunty during the Poojas? Is it in the traditional "Vaalaga" played in the weddings? Is it in what is taught to the kids by some local music teacher, who has never even heard a CM concert (forget giving) in his life? It is not a surprise to come across people who think that CM is in these. No offense meant to any of the people afore-mentioned, what I mean is that they don't represent the rich classical music that our country possesses to even 0.001 % accuracy.

Then what is true CM? I am tempted to say "I don't know", as that is what I feel with my current level of understanding. But having started to write this, I can't cheat myself as well as the readers without sharing at least what I know. Hence I'll make some honest attempts to pass on whatever little bit I know. I will first write about some statements I've encountered and then try to answer them.

Coming back to the questions part (mentioned in the first para), my next question to the person would be "Have you ever tried Indian classical music, either Carnatic (Karnataka) or Hindustani?, if not why no?" The reply would be "Yeah...A little bit, but I don't understand Telugu, so I can't make out the meaning, what's the point?" or "I tried once, it is so esoteric, it is beyond my level to understand, so I never tried again" or more interesting paradoxical answer is "If I know (means have heard before) the song, I enjoy it, otherwise I can't"! Beauty! Do you see the paradox in the statement? From somewhat 'advanced' music lovers (The adjective is to be applied to the person, not to the music), I have even heard "I can't make out which raaga or thala it is, they all sound alike, and more importantly, I can't make out which rasa does a raaga convey!??". Boy! hardly even a CM student can identify more than 50 raagas out of thousands of them, though thalas are easier to identify. I feel all these excuses come out due either to ignorance or to absence of alacrity to try it out.

I am going to venture into addressing the two big questions, "Where/What is CM?" and "How to understand CM?" First of all, a person who is not so familiar with CM must understand that it is not the lyrics he/she would be giving attention to, but the flow of a 'song'. In order to be able to do this, it is better to start listening to an instrument rather than vocal numbers. Instrument is more accurate representation because it can play a big range of frequencies (a range of frequencies from a basic note to another note of double the basic note frequency is called an octave)-Upto 4.5 octaves are available in Veena and about 4 in Violin, whereas with the human voice at the most 3 octaves are possible to sing. We do not need more, as our CM is based on melody (Variations/oscillations in a particular note) as opposed to Western CM which is based on harmony (Playing several notes together). All Indian CM pieces start slow, because all of them are mainly devotional and they deal with either praying to or arguing with the God. [Some are filled with Romance as well!]. I will tell more about Karnataka CM in the next paragraphs.

There are several-roughly 15-categories of musical pieces, starting from "Sarala Varasa" till "Raagam -Thaanam - Pallavi (RTP in short)". A Krithi(Keerthana) by any great composer will have 3 items, namely Pallavi, Anupallavi and Charana. A musician is not supposed to keep the music sheet in front of him while playing/singing. In a concert, the musician can apply his innovation and creativity to some pieces. He can add a prefix called 'Alaapana' to show the outline of the Raaga in which the Krithi was composed and is going to be presented. During Alaapana, percussion instruments are off. There can be suffixes to the Krithi, in the form of 'Neraval' and 'Kalpana swaras' - also called 'Swara Prasthara'. 'Neraval' means choosing a line from the Krithi (anywhere, Pallavi, Anupallavi or Charana) and singing/playing in a variety of ways within the scope of the raaga. Strictly, Neraval neednot be a suffix, it can come anywhere after the Krithi has started. It will be followed by the 'Kalpana swaras' which are pattern of notes lasting for exactly integral multiples of the thaala period. If it does not fit within that time frame, the musician is considered to be unfit to give any concerts! Presence of 'Neraval' implies that of 'Swara Prasthara', but not vice-versa. When 'Neraval' is done, the 'Swara's will end in a note near to the starting note of the line picked for 'Neraval'. Alternately, the swaras can also land at a particular 'Jeevaswara' (one of the main note) of the raaga. There will be 10-20 such swara patterns (each of them always ending at a particular note only at the end of the thala period) in different speeds. The 'Kaplana swara' part is one thing that a novice listener will enjoy the most. The first few will be for one period of thaala and they become progressively longer, with the last one being the longest, and it will end with a grand climactic pattern. In a vocal or flute concert, there will be a supporting violinist who will be playing along with the main performer during the Krithi. The 'Alaapana'-also called as 'Raaga', 'Neraval' and 'Swara Prasthara' are collectively called as 'Manodharma Sangeetha'. They will cover the entire range of the Raaga and show the mastery of the performer on the music. The accompanying violinist will play after the main player(not along with) during the 'Manodharma' part, as it is quite individualistic. The Krithi is based on certain theme depending on the context in which it was composed, and hence will not have much variations. Hence one might find that a Krithi started with a particular emotion, but towards the end it is quite different from how it started. Just before the end there can be "Thani Avarthana" which is the performance only by percussion musicians. This will be closely related to the 'Swaras' put by the main musician.

It is not uncommon to have 'RaagaMalika' (Different portions in different raagas) Krithis or 'Raagamalika' in 'Kalpana Swaras'. Even though, the raagas are different, when they join the Pallavi, you won't feel the discontinuity. Isn't this surprising? And, for those who say that they can't differentiate between the raagas, I strongly recommend listening to 'Raaga Malika's. A layman may not be able to name the raagas, but will be able to feel the difference. After all, what is in a name? Isn't the music all about feelings?

There is yet another term called 'Thaanam' in music jargon. This usually comes in 'Raagam-Thaanam-Pallavi(RTP)' pieces, in that order. RTP's will have all items listed in 'Manodharma Sangeetha'. They will not have Anupallavi and Charanam and hence are different from the Krithi's. So, they have less redundancy and more music. Only Pallavi will have one/two lines of lyrics composed by the performing musician usually. RTP is the ultimate thing in CM and needs many years of dedicated practice. Thaanam is very interesting, it is a kind of 'rhythmic raagalapana', yet without 'Laya Vaadyas' (percussion instruments) on. In the 'Swaraprasthara' part, it'll have swaras in the raaga of Pallavi and in addition usually in raagas which are very unrelated.

I think I've explained what to expect from a CM piece. Now you can decide whether to call Aunty's 'Lambodhara..' a part of CM. I would say, if Aunty sings it in its original form even without 'Manodharma Sangeetha' it is CM. "Shruthi Matha, Layaha Pitha". A performance which lacks either of these will not deserve to be called CM performance. Coming to the next question, "How to understand?". I don't know whether 'understand' is the correct word. Do you ever try to 'understand' any kind of music or do you 'experience', 'feel' and 'enjoy' it? I think I do the latter. But as a student of CM, yes, I do try to 'understand' the fundaes behind them. This 'experiencing' part is highly personal and hence I can't really say how you can/should enjoy it. Each one has his/her own way of enjoying the music. It should come from within. This is the reason why musicians pick all kinds of raagas and even within one item they present various emotions. There is nothing like one raaga would convey one 'rasa'. Just like how the minor scale notes of western music sound sad and major scale sound happy, here also some raagas sound melancholic if they are slow and some sound cheerful, but there is no such rule. A skilled musician can bring out all kinds of emotions with any raaga. (Reference : "Karnataka Sangeetha Vahini" by Dr. Ra. Sathyanarayana)

Classical music is not in Telugu/Tamil/Kannada/Hindi. But it is in our hearts. It is in the violin by Chowdiaha/Ganesh,Kumaresh/L Subramanian/M Chandashekhar (visually challenged!)/Kunnakkudi, in the Veena by Emani/Chittibaabu/Balachandar/Gaayathri, in the Flute by Shashaank/N Ramani, in the Saxophone of Kadri Gopalanathan, in the Mandolin of Srinivas, in the voices of Sudha raghunathan/Balamurali/Subbulakshmi and many more legends(living/dead) not named here.

While it is true that I'm a passionate advocate of Indian classical music, I'm not against any other music. Currently listening to Beethoven's Sonata No 29. In my view, we should appreciate all kinds of music, but also understand that, that which is ours only can lead us towards 'spiritual growth'; I would like to quote a line from Bhagavadhgeetha, "Swadharme Nidhanam Shreyaha, Paradharmo Bhayavahaha" (It is better to die following our 'Dharma'; that which is not ours is scary). Though it is an exaggeration that other culture is a threat, it can become a reality, if we ignore our own culture. We don't become modern by blindly following some other tradition, but we lose our identity by doing that. We become modern, when we are open to all other traditions, music etc and take pride in and love what is truly ours. It is our responsibility to preserve the precious music heritage we got from our ancestors and pass it on to the next generation without any deformation/distortion.

I would consider my efforts put on this essay to be fruitful if at least one of the readers makes genuine attempts to try Indian classical music. Even otherwise, it was really nice writing on something where I've put my heart.

So long then...

PS : This essay is dedicated to my close friends (exactly 3 in number), who have great appreciation for art in general, but unfortunately have no interest in Indian Classical music.

My first (and perhaps last) visit to beauty parlor!!!

2005-09-19T18:03:00.000+05:30

Life is boring, unless we do something to break the monotony. My innate inclination for feeling bored is quite high. So I have to constantly keep doing different things. That's the reason why I wear Saree whenever I get a chance. Last Friday for a function I wore a Saree, this time in another different style making friends and Aunts wonder what type of a Saree it was.

Wearing Saree is not quite unusual to me. Hence I badly wanted to do something very much foreign and unnatural (to me). Suddenly I realized that visiting a beauty parlour is a good option for that. It would improve my GK on some girlish (OK..feminine) matters as well. But go there for what? I had never visited one in my life, because even my regular hair trimming is done by my Mom. I didn't want to do waxing or eyebrow shaping or facials, as they would require regular updations. So I went for a one time thingy, i.e... well I'll reserve the suspense till the end.

So on this Sunday, I set my foot into a beauty parlour. As soon as I entered, the beautician (who must be about my age) started her sermons on maintaining the face and body well. She said that I didn't maintain them at all. She treated me with a pitiful scorn and remarked that I was ignorant and naive. She carried herself with a philosopher's stature as though I was there to get enlightened by her preaches. Yeah, you guessed it right, it was me who was completely responsible for her actions, as I don't know to pretend things which I'm not familiar with. She even went to the extent of saying, "You know, the day of saying I'm natural and all that is gone. Nobody gives any value to such natural-ness anymore. It is not a matter of looking modern, it is just a matter of looking neat, presentable and healthy(!?). You are not interested in all these because you haven't got the right guy, once you get one, you'll want to impress him and you'll land up here often!". My goodness!

She started with her work on my hair. She took about one and half hours to complete it. Another one hour was subtracted from my precious lifetime for drying (and another half an hour now, for writing this blog). In the meantime, got the chance to observe and interview several ladies there. Waxing seemed to be too painful. Eyebrow shaping even more so. Least painful of the lot was applying facials and sitting idle for 2 hours. Nevertheless they all seemed to enjoy it!. Some males were also there for pedicure, manicure, colouring the hair etc. In between the beautician made one more interesting comment, when she finally understood that she can't hope for success in brain-washing me: "There should be people like you too around, otherwise what is the difference between those who are conscious and those who are not? Like without villain in a movie, hero will not have any value.." something like this, which everyone appreciated though there was a difference of opinion between me and them on who was the hero and who was the villain, I must say. Finally I came out with a "crown-streaked" wine-red colour hair and a strong resolution not to visit the bugging, boring, preachy, sickening place once again. Very well learnt that beauty parlours are not for me, who doesn't even use any cosmetics.

This hair colour will remain for a good 6 months it seems. It is not looking too bad on me. My Mom had strictly objected, and that was one more motivation for getting it done. But no one believed it until they actually saw my hair. I secretly enjoyed the responses of people who knew me really well. "Are you serious?", "No, it can't be","Aparna is not the one who would colour her hair", "When did you become like that?" People can hardly accept any change, more so with changes associated with other peoples'(whom they think they know well) behaviours. Can they?

Quest for sense

2005-09-07T15:19:00.000+05:30

I've written some uttely nonsensical stuff, which will nevertheless make some sense to some chosen ones.

I think I discovered something last night. The answer to the question, why I tend to think too much. That's a significant discovery for me, I must say, as I've been asking this question to myself for the last 8 years. Here it goes: The fundamental reason behind me thinking too much is that I try to make sense out of everything. Saddest realization is, "actually it is not possible to do so".

I was encountered with another basic question, when I realized why I spend too much time thinking. The question is, "Why do I expect everything to be sensible?". While reading catch - 22 I felt that everything need not make sense. In fact most of the things on earth do not make any sense to anyone at all. It is lot more easier and funnier that way. It is a bad habit to search for some solid stuff in everything one sees, hears, smells, reads, writes etc. But I don't know why I expected everything to be sensible on the first place. Is it that when I was about to take birth on this earth, someone (probably God?) ordered me to expect everything to be sensible? or, is it my parents who told me to look for it when I was a kid? is it the teachers? is it the society? I don't know or remember honestly. Perhaps it is me and me alone who became obsessed with a quest for sense while growing up.

I remember attacking my mother with questions like, "Why are we born?", "Where is the boundary to this space consisting of sun,stars, earth and the moon(these were the only bodies I knew then)?", "What causes us to do what we do?","What moves earth(I hadn't read Atlas shrugged then!)?" etc, when I was about 5 years old. I haven't found the answers yet. I guess no one has. Hence I've stopped asking these and started with lower level questions. Asking questions and finding answers is something I love to keep doing I suppose. But what's the use? there is no point asking what's the use. Actually anything that anyone does can be strongly argued both ways, either as useful or as useless. So no use wondering whether something is useful or not!

I have very strong penchant towards certain things, especially paradoxical statements/stories. Catch - 22 is a wonderful book in that respect. 6 months ago, I read about 100 pages and dropped it there because it was too much to take. I was not moving forward, as I used to read the same thing several times, trying to make sense out of it, thus getting lost in thoughts, which would be entirely unrelated at times. Started again and this time also facing the same problem at page number 200. The whole book is so crazy and too full of balderdash! If only every book was written that way, then this book would appear very ordinary & sensible. That's the whole point. Sense or nonsense is all subjective, like sane and insane. Why are some people called insane, because they are different. But the same insane people might think that the rest of the world is insane and they are sane. It is the majority that matters. Just because majority of the people think insane people to be insane, they are branded insane and treated. Same way, something utterly nonsense can make sense if majority thinks that it is sense. So, it is just the matter of perception and perspectives.

Coming back to the lower level questions, as I haven't written yet as to what are they. Some of them are "Why do humans get bored? do all humans get bored at some times, or only some humans get bored all the time, or all the humans would feel bored at some time or the other? do animals & birds also know what it is to get bored? How to find out?", "What drives some human beings to look for quality and perfection in everything? is it a problem?", It definitely is, when one is not with the majority. Like I wrote in the first para, any particular thing can make sense only when you are with the majority, dear reader. There are some more questions, "We come we go, why do we struggle so much? can life be made simpler? why did God bless(or did I hear curse, from inside?) humans with an endless capacity to think?" I am too tired of thinking to find answers to these.

By the way, what am I trying to convey with this post? don't know as yet. If any of you who've read till the end can make out, kindly let me know. I'll be grateful to you for sometime at least, till I write the next blog, though not for the rest of my life. If you can't make out, drop it. Probably you are not the chosen one. I warned you in the first line itself, inspite of that, it was your choice to read it.

A day with "little princess"

2005-08-31T18:36:00.000+05:30

Nature has offered us ample number of beautiful things-both non-living and living. To name a few: the sunsrise, the sunset, the sun, the moon, the rivers & lakes, the valleys, the beach and so on among the first category and the flowers, the birds, the animals, the butterflies, the babies, the kids etc..in the second category. We can enjoy the living beauty in more active manner than the non-living, for the reason that they often respond to our actions. My personal opinion is that kids aged between 3 to 10 are nature's gift to mankind. Everyone of us had been a gift to others(who think like me on this) once upon a time.

I value this gift of nature highly, enjoy kids' company very much, never let go off a chance to make friends with them. Everyone does the same to certain extent. I go one step further and try to know more about the innermost feelings of a kid. I have learnt lot of new things in the process. One general observation is that the kids are inherently fair in their dealings, unless they are incorrigibly corrupted due to some external forces. Whatever they do is not at all whimsical as it appears with a cursory look. Everything makes sense, provided we have time and patience to understand why they do what they do. I have 3 young cousines (7 to 11 yrs old) and I have come to know a lot about child psychology from them. Hence the special interest in kids. Everyone of them is unique, yet I can make out some similarities in their thoughts. I know that there is no dearth for books on child psychology, but don't want to read them, for the reason that nothing is tantamount to the joy of discovering things on my own. Becoming too philosophical?..no, I don't want to be. This post is not meant for analysis of anything. I intend to explain one of my nice experiences with a kid.

It is not appropriate to continue without giving the background of this little girl with whom I spent more than half the day yesterday, I would not like to divulge her name though. I'll call her "little princess" henceforth. She completed 8 years of existence last month. She is in 3rd standard. She is fair, tall for her age, has hair style like that of Harry Potter. She is known to me since last 11 months, but only through exchange of smiles. Her father is supposed to be a relative of mine, but he has become more of a family friend than a relative. She is an introvert, hardly talks to people outside of her home, but quite generous with smile. She enjoys nature, music, chess, sketching and preparing artistic objects. Exactly 12 days back, she lost her mother who was young and beautiful, but unfortunately not blessed with health. Her mother was a violinist who had given a few performances in the past. It seems that when our little princess was informed of her mother's sad demise, her first reaction was "Now who will help me with my music lessons?".

Yesterday, I had been to her home to attend her mother's death ceremonies. When I reached there at 11:30am, she seemed quite normal, playing with her cousine. I too played with her a game of chess, teased her a little bit..We had lunch after all rituals got over. All of a sudden at about 2:30pm, she burst into sobs. Her grandmother tried to console her, but it did not help. By then people started coming near her which only made matters worse. I tried my bit too, by whispering to her that she could practice violin lessons and I would help her. I received a merciless 'no' from otherwise sweet and calm girl. Same fate for my offer to play chess. I was almost full of tears myself looking at her condition. Finally her father was successful in stopping her from crying, but he could not make her smile return. He made her play violin. I sat next to her, sang what she was playing and put 'Tala'. She was stumbling at a few places, sighing a few times probably due to memories associated with her mother. However, she seemed to be taking notice that I was attentively listening to her and trying to correct when she went wrong.

As soon as she completed one round of practice, I got an idea and put it across to her. I reminded her of my Veena, which she had seen during her earlier visit to our house with her parents. I told her that I would be happy if she comes to our house and listens to what I play. To everyone's surprise, she agreed to come. We had a nice ride of about 5kms and reached our house. Next 3 hours was one of the best times I've ever had. We were alone for about 2 hours there, as rest of my family was still at her house.

First, I offered her some chocolates. Then showed her my Veena along with all the accessories like the sound pick-up box attached and the amplifier. Explained her the setup as best as I could. She was very curious, asking lot of questions and seemed to follow my answers. I played a few short pieces of music, that made her eyes shine and face brighten up. She smiled and said that she was enjoying it. I was relieved to see her smiling. I must admit that her smile is the best compliment I've ever received since I started playing Veena. I was not too sure how my Veena sounds to others, though I enter a state of ecstasy just by tuning and plucking a string.

Next, I showed her my music CD collections and made her listen to a violin performance. She liked listening to it, but she wanted to listen to a Veena CD. After listening for sometime she even asked me to play the same piece!! I had not learnt all those advanced 'Krithi's and hence explained her my limitations. I also explained her some basic concepts that one should concentrate on while listening to a Veena recital. I do not fully remember what all I said or she said, all I remember is the light on her face and that I was feeling nice looking at her face. It was so difficult to believe that I was with the same girl who considered me to be a total stranger a few hours back. Her smile never faded even if our conversation had several mentions of her mother. In fact she was recollecting some nice things about her mother and seemed to be re-living those moments. That is not magic, that is the power of music. It is divine, it is soothing to the mind.

I cooked something for her (I rarely do that for anyone, even if I am fully capable of it!). I watched part of a movie "Shankarabharanam" with her. By then it was 6:30 in the evening and she wanted to leave. She said she would visit me often. I dropped her home and thanked God for gifting me a cherubic little friend.

Is reading "inspirational fictions" equivalent to borrowing thoughts from them?

2005-08-04T23:00:00.000+05:30

Could not wait till next week to post this, as I'm currently jobless.

Just a few days back, I was discussing books with someone. I asked him whether he likes Richard Bach books; he said he has read one and found it to be preachy. He put across a question something like, "Why should I expect someone else to enlighten me with thoughts? I don't want to borrow thoughts from anyone, so I don't like to read such books". Agreed that he is entirely free to choose the books for him; nevertheless it provoked some thoughts in me. I have a different view on the class of "inspirational fictions" and I'm going to share them here.

What is an inspirational fiction? It refers to the category of books which narrate a story, simultaneously analyzing some events in it, highlighting what should reader take away from that particular event. The author does not only convey the story, but makes the reader see what he sees in a particular character or event. Most of such "advice" part is positive and so supposed to inspire the reader to think. Hence the name - "inspirational fiction", colloquially referred to as "funda book".

Reading inspirational fictions should not be confused with surrendering our thoughts and following what the author says. It should be viewed as an act of focusing our thoughts on some situation/person appearing in the book, which otherwise would have got ignored by us. In my opinion, we do not lose our identity/individuality by thinking about the contents of the book; in fact, if we do not give much thought about a book (books in general, not only inspirational fictions), it is equivalent to an act of sacrilege to the book and an insult to its author. Ignorence is the most cruel way of treating the work of an artist/writer/musician/dancer etc. One should either like them or dislike them; even disliking is a kind of tribute.

I find it nice to read such books. They trigger thoughts, thus enlightening the mind. One is free to accept or reject the author's thoughts, only after analyzing them. The author is not forcing anyone to accept his thoughts, but definitely he is forcing the reader to cogitate over it. Many a times reader identifies him/herself with a situation in the book. At that time he would not have thought about another possibility of handling that situation. But since the author has described not only the situation, but also a way to handle it, the reader is doubly benefited. Book reading not only gives joy, but also serves to enrich the mind and soul. Whenever the reader's thoughts and author's "preachings" match, there is no doubt that any reader is happy. It is natural for humans to be happy when they come across like-minded people. At the same time, there are people who enjoy being with/talking to people who don't think alike. Similar is the case with books. Hence no matter whether a reader agrees or disagrees with the author, inspirational fictions are worth reading once.

Another major thing to be kept in mind is that "Learn from other's mistakes; you can't live to make all of them on your own". When someone is sharing what he/has has learnt from his/her mistakes, what is wrong in accepting it? if the author has to write something with such a conviction, he must have experienced it or seen someone undergoing it. For example, Richard Bach was a pilot, he enjoyed his work, travelled across many countries, and saw different kinds of people. Most of what he writes are related to his life. If we are not willing to listen to what he has to say, then we are losing something, he is not.

There are several famous inspirational fictions by different authors. "Jonathan Livingston Seagull" (http://www.szepi.hu/irodalom/jonathan/jonatan2.html) is the famous one by Richard Bach. It conveys that everything is in mind. When you have passion to do something and focus your mind, nothing else matters, you will reach your goal. Ofcourse, the book does not say it in such a boring way (like I have written) and that's what makes it very special. Similar is "Little Prince" (http://www.angelfire.com/hi/littleprince/) by Antoine De Saint Exupéry. Whatever I say about the book can convey very little. One should read it to realize what it is. Everytime I read it, I get something new from that book, though it has very few pages. It is mainly about how people ignore things which are really enjoyable and concentrate their energies on most useless/materialistic objects as they grow up. There are relatively few around us who appreciate art, music, dance books etc. Paulo Coelho is another famous writer who writes only inspirational fictions. I've read 3 of his books out of which "The Alchemist" is the best one. "Veronika Decides to die" is another good book, I didnot like "Eleven minutes". I've gone through the summary of other books and they are all alike, similar to either of the first 2 books. The Alchemist becomes little monotonous and boring towards the end, but 75% of it is really inspiring. I don't think I've borrowed any thoughts from it, but I felt happy to read it, as I could relate to some principles/situations. Veronika decides to die is about Veronika who being young & dynamic, having lot of friends, still finding life to be not worth living. So she attempts a suicide, but survives and gets admitted to a mental hospital. She is told that she has only 7 days to live, and then she discovers many things about enjoying life, after talking to other people in the hospital. I won't comment about the end. If anyone tells you that he/she wants to die, my suggestion is - gift this book (ok..I'm not talking this from experience). When people are very depressed, they are strongly pulled towards negative thinking; they lose all the positive energy. Reading some "funda books" with nice stories can help such people to see the light in their life.

He..............lp Meeeeeeeeee...............????

2005-07-26T01:24:00.000+05:30

I love my bike. Talking about love, my first love was Maths, next love was DSP and currently it is Veena and the bike. It is very less likely to change now. Sid says I fall in love with wrong things. Well, that's another issue altogether. Hope I'm not offending half(slightly more) the world population, if I say I never found any specimen worthy of falling in love; not that I didn't have crushes once or twice a year. (If I did offend, my apologies; I was saying in a jocular vein). I should admit, I had better things to do than taking them seriously, knowing that it is not worth it.

Let's not digress from the main topic. Topic is not love, but the fact that I love my bike (no, no, no topic is not even that, I'll come to it). The reason is that I get euphoric when I'm sitting on her. She has never let me down morally, though I used to physically fall down quite often during the first 6 months. My average speed on city roads is 50 kmph, on ring roads-70kmph. Max speed I've ever touched is 85kmph, which is not bad for a bike like Victor, considering that I would've 'gone with the wind' at any higher speed (You know, I'm not very big to look at). Now, when one is in love, one tends to over-estimate the abilities of the object of love, for love is 'blind'. Sometime or the other one has to face the consequences of this over-estimation. Fortunately, in these 2.5 years I never had any such experiences but for one which happened very recently, as late as last friday night 10p.m. The Almighty would've created the situation to open my 'eyes' to the reality. As a side benefit, it is serving as a subject to write on.

I think by now I have generated 'great expectations' from your side on what I have to write. In that case I must warn you: It is not going to be as interesting as you are expecting. You might want to stop reading it here if you don't prefer to be disappointed at the end. Only if you don't have anything better to do, then you may kindly proceed to the next paragraph.

On 21st July'05, one of our team's creations started working the way we wanted it to work. You should excuse me for not being able to give more details on that as it is confidential. We all were very much on the 9th cloud and decided to celebrate on a pleasant friday night, i.e. 22nd July. The venue for Dinner was "Samarkand, Infantry road". It started at 8pm; had a nice time with our VP (Vice President) and the team-mates. At about 9:45, I suddenly remembered that I have a home at Subramanyanagar (near Rajajinagar) and I had to leave if I wanted to reach safe. The party continued and sadly I had to say "Bye" to the folks.

I had parked my bike in the basement. There was a ramp connecting basement to the Infantry road. It was at an angle > pi/4 (must be about 55 degrees) to the horizontal plane. I went to my bike, gave her a pat, kickstarted with one kick, put the 2nd gear and headed towards the ramp. Brrrrrrrrrrrrr......,soon the meter showed 40, while I switched the gear to 4th. My bike had no problems with a normal slope in 4th gear. Reached the base of the ramp and happily started ascending, only to realize my mistake in next fraction of a second. Too late to even panick. Quickly switched to 3rd, accelerated with full energy hoping to reach the top. We were just about 1/2 a feet away when she couldn't pull me through and gave up!!! If I was a novice at driving, I would've back-traced the path and rotated 360 degrees twice. Thank my Mom, I was having full sense too, since I didn't taste the 'champagne' that was indispensible part of the celebration, as my Mom had forbidden me from tasting alchohol.

Just 1/2 feet away from the road and about 10 feet away from the basement I and my dear bike hung, in a manner worse than MS Windows. There was no one at the scene. My bike gets throat infection in rainy seasons and hence her vocal cords were not functional. I was completely ignorant of the best course of action in such situations, as I hadn't even seen someone in such a 'Thrishanku' position. Worse still, someone took out his car from the basement and wanted to leave. He started sounding horn to let him go. The stupid, dumb guy(obviously!) didn't even bother himself to find out why of all the places I'm hanging there. Simply made noise for about a minute. That's when it stuck me to scream for help. I was so concerned about my bike's horn not working that I had forgotten momentarily that I could speak. "He.....lp Meeee....He.....lp Mee....". That was the first time in my life I uttered this with so much desperation. I remembered all my friends before remembering God, not sure of how long I had to be at such a metastable position. Just then, to my relief, a jovial looking man, aged between 55 to 60 happened to appear there like an angel and pushed my bike from behind. I had switched to 2nd gear by then and accelerelated finally making it to the road. Thanked the man from bottom of my heart with deepest feelings and left for home with a resolution, never to assume that my bike can pull me through a ramp in 4th gear!!

Note: I've actually written this at 10:30 pm, 23rd July'05. I write better with a pen and paper than a key board.

Preamble

2005-07-22T22:39:00.000+05:30

Before putting thoughts on anything else, I'll just say what I know & think of myself. I'm Aparna, originally from a small village near Mangalore, now working as a communication engineer in Ittiam Systems-a DSP sw/IP company in Bangalore. In all packet based communication systems, there is a portion called 'preamble' which gives kind of intro to the packet. Hence the title of this post. Also coincidentally, the blog name is same as what Ittiam stands for-"I think therefore I am".

My nickname is Appu, used only by a privileged few people, who just happen to be my close friends. I'm the kind of person who might be a little complicated to understand in the beginning, but I get easier with time. I'm putting conscious efforts to reduce that time. I think every human being should be simple and approachable for fellow humans. Then life will be much simpler and enjoyable.

I did my schooling in government schools near my village(Kannada Medium). Studied PU Course (11th and 12th as some people call it) in Canara PU College, Mangalore. From a timid, shy village girl, I slowly transformed into a confident, extrovert engineer from KREC (Now NITK), Surathkal in 2002. Had got placed in Ittiam through campus placement process. I have completed 3 years in the industry and I think it is not at all so bad as it is being projected by media and some ignorant population. I have enjoyed every moment of working; have I? No, I won't say that. I believe that joys and sorrows should go hand in hand, otherwise we won't realize the importance of either of them.

Music is my utmost priority in life. I had learnt Carnatic classical vocal for sometime (Just enough to pass Junior exam), without having any purpose (I was too young for that I guess then : during my early teenage). After I came to Bangalore in 2002 for 1.5 years I just did timepass (TP), freaking out to hotels and measuring the breadth and length of ring roads. I started driving my TVS Victor in Dec 2002 and so was completely busy exploring all roads in and around Bangalore with some like-minded friends for about an year. Soon the enthu reduced and around Jan, 2004 I started thinking about what exactly is my passion. I took about a couple of months to decide and on March 22, 2004-just a day before I turned 23-started with my Veena lessons. I was still not sure whether I have the perseverence required. So what I did? went on telling everyone that I've started learning Veena. You see, I'm a kind of proud person. Under any circumstances, I would not let myself down. Once I say something so loud, I'm forced to sustain it. It really helped. It's already 1 year 4 months and I've progressed a lot. Now I'm sure that I'll do my best to learn as much as I can get from my teacher. In the beginning I had many dreams which were fame oriented. I was always thinking of learning for about 4-5 years and giving concerts. But two things changed my perspective completely. One is my Sir himself, who is quiet and alone, always playing music for his own satisfaction. He was very famous and successful once upon a time; now he is too old for any public performances. But before becoming successful, he was not very keen on getting success, just worshipped music for his internal pleasure. He tells me his stories once in a while and I am inspired by them. Another thing is a book "Success Vs Joy" by Geeth Sethi and Sunil Agarwal. The book basically tells that Joy is more important and not the Success. The latter does not ensure the former. Should you choose between the two, you better choose the former. So, now I'm worshipping music with the right funda in mind. Ok, I've to get to work now.

Bye...