Friday, December 09, 2005
Self - doubt, Confusions and Me
"Aajnschaashraddhadhanascha Samshayathma Vinashyathi,
Naayam Lokosthi Na Paro Na Sukham Samshayathmanaha"
The ignorant one, the one without dedication, the one with self doubt as well as the one who doubts others - all these three perish. Especially the paranoid will never get comfort, neither in this world nor in another (meaning, after death).
How very true! Self doubt is the worst feeling one can have. You can't expect an individual having self-doubt to trust others. After all, if at all one knows about human psychology, it is mainly from what one knows about one's own mind. When one is doubting one's own intentions/capacities etc, when one does not have a pure clear mind, one can not imagine others having it. Like how one can dream only whatever one has seen in the past and can not see something entirely new, similarly one's understanding on others is limited by one's own understanding of the self. Hence the more one know about the self, the more does one know the entire human race.
But, sometimes I seriously wonder why must I know myself and others? What is the whole purpose of doing so much analysis? What do I get? Why do I even have to ponder whether I know myself, whether I have self doubt, whether I am good or bad? Why do I end up time and again in questions to which I already know that there is no answer? Worst, even after knowing my limitations, why do I do the same mistakes and encounter same unpleasant situations and get self-doubt? And, once I do a mistake, why can't I forget it and move on? Why do I always want to be correct? Why can't I say "It doesn't matter really?" and just let it all go? Why can't I accept myself the way I am-then it'll be lot more easy to accept others the way they are-? What is that which constantly drives me towards self-improvement?
What is confidence? Is it the absence of self-doubt? Or, is it the presence of a feeling of self-worth from within? What is Joy? Is it the absence of sorrow? Or is it the presence of a feeling of bliss from inside(Atlas Shrugged!)? What is being correct? Is it not being wrong? Or is it being the way my conscience guides me? What is this consicence?
The human brain is too small and still it is amazingly wonderful, how does it get all these thoughts? I'm confused...I don't know, I guess no one knows either...
Naayam Lokosthi Na Paro Na Sukham Samshayathmanaha"
The ignorant one, the one without dedication, the one with self doubt as well as the one who doubts others - all these three perish. Especially the paranoid will never get comfort, neither in this world nor in another (meaning, after death).
How very true! Self doubt is the worst feeling one can have. You can't expect an individual having self-doubt to trust others. After all, if at all one knows about human psychology, it is mainly from what one knows about one's own mind. When one is doubting one's own intentions/capacities etc, when one does not have a pure clear mind, one can not imagine others having it. Like how one can dream only whatever one has seen in the past and can not see something entirely new, similarly one's understanding on others is limited by one's own understanding of the self. Hence the more one know about the self, the more does one know the entire human race.
But, sometimes I seriously wonder why must I know myself and others? What is the whole purpose of doing so much analysis? What do I get? Why do I even have to ponder whether I know myself, whether I have self doubt, whether I am good or bad? Why do I end up time and again in questions to which I already know that there is no answer? Worst, even after knowing my limitations, why do I do the same mistakes and encounter same unpleasant situations and get self-doubt? And, once I do a mistake, why can't I forget it and move on? Why do I always want to be correct? Why can't I say "It doesn't matter really?" and just let it all go? Why can't I accept myself the way I am-then it'll be lot more easy to accept others the way they are-? What is that which constantly drives me towards self-improvement?
What is confidence? Is it the absence of self-doubt? Or, is it the presence of a feeling of self-worth from within? What is Joy? Is it the absence of sorrow? Or is it the presence of a feeling of bliss from inside(Atlas Shrugged!)? What is being correct? Is it not being wrong? Or is it being the way my conscience guides me? What is this consicence?
The human brain is too small and still it is amazingly wonderful, how does it get all these thoughts? I'm confused...I don't know, I guess no one knows either...
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The question which crops up in my mind is "who is me". Am I the one who I know that I am, or am I the abstract image of me that the society (read everything else) thinks I am. I would say these are totally two different things. If I drop everything I am doing and embark on higher things in life, me according to me has matured. The image of me, which is invisible to me has got reduced. Now will I be happy or sad. I would say I should feel happy, I as I know has prospered. Why should I worry at all for some second order effects. The type of questions you seem to have indicate that you tend to associate yourself with what others think is you. I would say show your finger to them and look only at yourself.
If you are still with me, I would suggest you think more into yourself than about your relationship with others. I guess the answer to the latter question can be understood only if you understand yourself. The quest for the inner truth. As Ramana Maharshi used to say, find out who you are, then everything else becomes obvious.
If you are still with me, I would suggest you think more into yourself than about your relationship with others. I guess the answer to the latter question can be understood only if you understand yourself. The quest for the inner truth. As Ramana Maharshi used to say, find out who you are, then everything else becomes obvious.
# posted by 
: 12:52 AM, December 14, 2005
: 12:52 AM, December 14, 2005
Anonymous, please reveal yourself. I guess you are someone whom I know. I didnot understand the context of your comments. Obviously, your comments are not on the post, but are coloured with what you think you know about me, because my post doesn't say I think about my relations with others more than I think about my relation with myself. Maybe that's what you think of me, but I don't agree with you, and I don't care about what you think of me. I didn't understand why did you have to rephrase my own words, "Hence the more one know about the self, the more does one know the entire human race" as "I guess the answer to the latter question can be understood only if you understand yourself." Anyways, thanks for the advice and taking time to put comments on my blog; at least you've displayed that you do have right perspective on this.
-Aparna
-Aparna
You dont know me, nor do I know you, I was blog searching and I came upon yours. I am sorry if you think what I said does not reflect you, it was more of what made me think you are. However I would like to certainly add this. The tone of all your blogs, seems to show that you are highly emotional, you cant ask difficult questions and get answers when your mind is clouded by emotion. Be free, emotion is a bondage, give it up, then all your questions will automatically have answers.
the universe is like a set of actions, your mind is what that makes them look what they are. For example, two children splashing water on the road might make you happy, when you are happy. It might irritate you when are irritable. The bottomline is what you see, feel, and think are not absolute. what enslaves you is this emotion. And when I say look into yourself, the words may be the same, but the meaning is totally different. You interpret as look into your mind,thoughts and ideas. I mean it as look into what is actually you. Your mind is constantly under change, it can be you. you are eternal.
I am very sorry, if I bored you with all this philosophical talk. But then I believe in
"Sarve cha sukhinas santu"
"Sarve santu Niramayaha"
"Sarve Bhadrani pashyantu"
"Maakaschith dukhabhadbhavet"
the universe is like a set of actions, your mind is what that makes them look what they are. For example, two children splashing water on the road might make you happy, when you are happy. It might irritate you when are irritable. The bottomline is what you see, feel, and think are not absolute. what enslaves you is this emotion. And when I say look into yourself, the words may be the same, but the meaning is totally different. You interpret as look into your mind,thoughts and ideas. I mean it as look into what is actually you. Your mind is constantly under change, it can be you. you are eternal.
I am very sorry, if I bored you with all this philosophical talk. But then I believe in
"Sarve cha sukhinas santu"
"Sarve santu Niramayaha"
"Sarve Bhadrani pashyantu"
"Maakaschith dukhabhadbhavet"
# posted by : 6:25 PM, December 14, 2005
: 6:25 PM, December 14, 2005
If I don't know you, I would like to know you. If you do not like to reveal your identity in this space, please email me @ aparnack@gmail.com. Thanks for all the advice, it is not boring.
We think, so we get all these thoughts.. when you think, you will be confused. I have seen people who don't think at all, and they seem to be happier than us.
According to me every individual is confused. So, don't worry that you are more confused.. there are a lot more people to give company.
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According to me every individual is confused. So, don't worry that you are more confused.. there are a lot more people to give company.
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