Monday, June 08, 2009

 

Why Do People Help Others?

Isn't the human psychology a bit [read-very] weird? When we see someone else or ourselves helping a fellow human or an animal, do we examine the psychology behind it? Here is an attempt towards thorough analysis:

There are several intentions behind "helping". Depending on the intentions, people are divided into the following categories.

First one: One belonging to this division is taught at home and school this mantra: "Help others". They may not even know why they are doing it, it has become their nature.

Second one: As a person grows up, he learns a lesson through his experiences-"If I help others, they help me in my need". With this understanding, when he helps someone, he makes sure that the person at the receiving end has the ability to reciprocate. This checking can often happen subconsciously. That is the reason behind such people getting angry upon hearing the statement, "You are selfish, when you help me also, you do it with selfish motives". No one wants to hear the truth about themselves, especially when one knows it.

Third one: One can help another not necessarily with selfish motives. Nevertheless, what happens is, when the other person does not reciprocate, this person can feel bad. This category is the milder version of the second category. At the time of helping, there won't be any calculation going on, but later, if the need arises, there will be some expectation.

Fourth one: Some people help others just to boost their self-respect. You will hear such people often say, "I am good. I have been kind to people. God(?) will do good to me". This is another form of helping with selfish motives. Only difference is that these people expect the unseen hands to help them during their tough times.

Fifth one: There is yet another set of people who derive joy by seeing a smile in others' faces. For this reason they help. If we observe them closely, we can make out that these people are very much into solving big problems of others, because, bigger the problem, the more the other person smiles, and the more happiness they get.

Sixth one: People from this category do it just as a duty. They are beyond all reasoning. If you thank them for what they did, "Anyone in my position would have done the same. If not me, you would have got someone else to do it for you. Your purpose is served and that is what matters here." Can't help but comment, "What a way to live!"

More inputs/references are welcome. Which one do you place yourself in, can tell you a lot about your own character and attitude.

Comments:
hey nice thoughts.... i believe in the quote 'dont feed a man with fish... teach him to fish'... now thats the only thing which is called help... watsay??
 
Yeah, that's a chinese quote. Same thing our ancient sages said thus, long ago in Samskritam:
Annadaanam mahaadanam vidyaadaanam tatah param|
Anne cha kshaNikaa triptih yaavajjevancha vidyayaa||
Simple meaning. Giving rice as alms is great, but the greater one is bestowing knowledge. From rice one gets momentary satisfaction, from knowledge, lifelong contentment.
 
1. First and sixth categories look similar except that one is taught at home and the other not.
2. The same person might help different people in different categories. This suggests that help alone is truth and not the reason :)
3. Some help everybody; like help.com
 
Hey nice topic of discussion. I remember a story i studied at school. It was about a king who goes to a wise man to get answers to three questions ok i found the story on the net here it is http://www.online-literature.com/tolstoy/2736/
as you will see the moral is the most important thing one can do is do good to others and when a man needs help the best thing you can do is help him. I love helping people in whatever small way i can and i see this as more than a hobby or pass time. let me leap a couple of steps and ponder over this. we have a huge number of people in our country whose biggest worry is to find food for today. they are in need of real help. can we do something? I have started to see that the people in power do not realise that their actions are affecting these people below poverty line the most. the people well above poverty line have the means to get around the disfunctionality of the government and pursue their aspirations. but the people below the poverty line are helpless and the policies of the government are most affecting them. the people in power do not realise this. What can we do? Can we do something? India is trapped in a vicious negative cycle - poverty illeteracy population unemployment poverty illeteracy .... we need to break this cycle at some point and begin a positive cycle ..... we have enough work for a lifetime in our nation .... it may seem to you i have strayed from my topic .... fundamentally not ..... i am talking of service .... i am talking about serving the people below poverty line ..... not out of patriotism but out of sheer desire to help the people in poverty ... can we lead a life worth living?
 
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